George Sands quotes from Being Human

Annie

[To George] What's he done?

George

How far back do you want to go?

George

What's your cat's name, Molly?

Molly.

George

Your cat's called Molly and you're called Molly?

My Dad really liked the name. Do you like cats?

George

Yeah, I couldn't eat a whole one though. [To himself] Who am I kidding? Of course I could.

George

What is that?

Annie

A baby. It's one of mine.

George

How long have I been gone?!

George

My mother's maiden name is Herod, my internet password is 'password1', I'm indifferent about all competitive sports, and I prefer lager to beer. I don't understand fishing. What is fishing? I'm scared of cancer, I voice hypocritical objections to drive-through takeaways and I lost my virginity on a canal boat in Tring.

Favourite colour?

George

That would be gamboges - it's a kind of orangey brown.

Annie

George, I didn't think you would seriously go through with it. I thought the moment would just pass. You know, like when you decided you were gonna wear skinny jeans.

Mitchell

Skinny jeans?

George

That was a private conversation.

Mitchell

Skinny jeans, George? Seriously?

George

It...it was a moment of madness.

Annie

No, this is a moment of madness! You cannot move in with someone you've just started dating! Tell him, Mitchell!

Mitchell

Skinny jeans, George?!?

George

Yes, yes, alright...look, where the hell were you last night?

Mitchell

I was with Lucy. We, er...we finally, um...you know. Decided to, em...

Annie

Oh, this is like the problem pages of Just 17. You had sex, Mitchell. Sex.

Mitchell

Yeah.

Annie

You can say it, George. I'm not gonna cry or anything.

George

We've found a new house and we're gonna stay there tonight.

Annie

[Annie starts to sob] Oh, God!

Nina

They might have a cure.

George

For what?

Nina

Cystitis. What do you think?!

Mitchell

Ah no, not him again. I thought he moved out! He's always fucking here.

George

Oh god. Are you drunk? I hate it when you're drunk. Listen, I need to tell you something important and you'll probably want to have a wrestle, but, uh, listen. I'm going to that place with Nina and the priest and Professor Jaggat.

Annie

And I'm going to go with him.

George

Yeah. So, ah—

Mitchell

Good. Piss off. 'Cause I'm getting really sick of your dog hairs on my clothes.

Nina

We could play I Spy.

George

Oh, no.

Nina

I spy, with my little eye...

George

Please. Please don't do this!

Nina

Live with it. It's happening.

George

What happens now, Mitchell? What do we do?

Mitchell

We're going to get her back.

George

Is it soundproof? It's just, um, I can get pretty.. "Rarr! Rarr!".. when I'm working out. "Feel the burn", "Who's your daddy?"... "Say what you see..."

Nina

Oh god.

Mitchell

Annie was there. She was on the screen.

George

What? You're kidding?

Nina

Is she okay? What did she say?

Mitchell

We're running out of time.

George

Um, it's our friend, she's er...she's in... Midsummer Murders.

Nina

[In lingerie, with a new haircut, to George] Ahem... What do you think?

Nina

Mm? I had a little left over from the food shop, and I thought it might be nice to have something for y'know, us. Hence... [gestures to hair] and hence... [gestures to lingerie]... It was either that or off-peak gym membership.

George

You made absolutely the right decision.

Nina

Really?

George

Ow!

Nina

What? What? [George tries to get something that was poking him] What is that?

George

Pen... Hello.

Nina

Hello.

Nina

Ow! Hair, stuck, glasses...!

George

Oh is it? Oh, shit, sorry. Oh hang on, it's really tangled.

Nina

George! Eee, ow.

George

Shhh, don't pull away!

Nina

Quickly!... Oh....

George

You alright?

Nina

Yeah, fine.

George

Right. Where were we?... Hello.

Nina

Hello...

Mitchell

Have you got a radio?

George

What?!

Mitchell

I need a radio. I have an idea. [Mitchell climbs over them to grab the radio on the table next to them]

Nina

Ow, ow, Mitchell!

George

What are you doing?!

Mitchell

Cheers.

Nina

Just give me a bloody kiss. [She kisses a distracted George] Oh, look, just forget about it.

George

He's ruined everything!

Nina

Another night.

George

Home sweet home.

Adam

It's a shit hole.

George

Yes, but it's our shit hole so show some manners.

Adam

I think you need a new wingman. I, sir, am a registered poon hound.

George

Have you ever actually had sex, Adam? You know, proper, balls-deep sex? You touched a boob? Be honest with me, Adam. have you ever even touched a boob? Because I have! Loads!