Alex Mayhew quotes from Being Human

They're the men with sticks and ropes. I saw them when I died. Thought they were evil Morris dancers.

I don't care if you have enough viagra to fill the Titanic, nobody is doing any rising on my watch.

Hal

I like your mouth.

Oh, thanks sugar. I'm sure that sounded less creepy in your head.

Hal

I assume you just close your eyes and picture yourself somewhere else.

Trust me, I've been doing that since you arrived.

Hal

Unfinished business tends to be more life-affirming than beating someone up.

Not if you're Scottish.

What's the biggest thing you've ever Rentaghosted with?

Annie

Er, hey, listen. This is not a party trick. This is an invaluable defensive weapon...An armchair.

Just treat me like an equal. Treat me like a bloke.

Tom

But you're a lady. And my dad taught me how to treat ladies. Always be polite and courteous, if a lady came in the room, stood up and take off any hats, and if it was a vampire, you staked 'em.

Hal

All we're doing is marking time until the inevitable.

Kind of like life, then?

Tom

She makes me feel things.

What things?

Tom

Feelings.

She made you feel feelings?

Tom

Yeah.

What a bitch. You should stake her, anyway.

Who are you?

Hatch

I'm only the fucking devil, sweetheart.