Ivan quotes from Being Human

Ivan

Okay, two rules for Ivan's car: no food or drink and I get to choose the music and tonight we shall be listening to Miss Kate Bush.

Ivan

I'm just one step away from wiping out an entire branch of Argos.

Mitchell

Fifty years and still the same car?

Ivan

Been keeping her in storage, you know what it's like. If it goes, has a good body and you like being inside it, why get rid of it? It's a recipe for a happy marriage, too.

Ivan

You think this ends tonight? [laughs] This is just the beginning. Today it's Carl, tomorrow it's someone else. It's like I said, you're sliding into chaos and there's no safety net now. They've been in hiding since Herrick died but they're gonna get hungry soon, then you're going to be waking up to headlines about vampires.

Mitchell

If we did declare ourselves, but not the way Herrick wanted, but if we could just stop hiding.

Ivan

What, are you imagining some kind of peaceful co-existence? It'd be chaos! Worldwide panic. Good news for religion, mind, especially Christianity. There'd be standing room only in the churches all of a sudden. And as soon as they knew about vampires, they'd know about werewolves, they'd know about ghosts. They'd be next. And when humanity had finally finished with us, it would turn on itself. First the other religions, massively in the minority now, then the homosexuals, the disabled...do you want to know what the future looks like? Enforced worship in churches a mile high, and every country surrounded by a coral reef of bones. But fuck it, maybe it should happen - there's nothing on TV at the moment.

Mitchell

Look. You just spread the word, OK. I want everyone there.

Ivan

Just leave it to me. I've got most of them on my Twitter feed, so...

Mitchell

Ivan, I've met someone. I can't be with her and be part of this. I know it's a big ask. I know it's a huge favor, but I can't. She's my way out of this chaos. This could be my last chance and if I get...Oh, forget it! It doesn't matter.

Ivan

You should have said it was about love. I get it now. We all lead long and appalling lives. But I have my Daisy. Everyone deserves a Daisy.