Dr. John BeckerSince when do you wear glasses?
I don't.
Dr. John BeckerThen what are those?
They just look good, they don't do anything.
Dr. John BeckerYeah, well, you'd be the expert on that.
Played by Ted Danson
Becker · 252 quotes
Most-quoted character in Becker: in 198 of its 252 quotes
Most scenes with: Jake Malinak (30), Margaret (27), Linda (25)
Scenes with Dr. John Becker 161
Dr. John BeckerDr. John BeckerDr. John BeckerI don't like to lie. It's wrong.
Dr. John BeckerSays who?
The Lord!
Dr. John BeckerThe Lord? Margaret, this is the Bronx. Believe me, he's not here.
Dr. John BeckerJust when I think God couldn't screw me any further, he gets out the old Black & Decker and twists a little harder!
Interesting; you're being persecuted by a God you don't believe in.
Dr. John BeckerThat's why he's after me, Margaret.
Dr. John BeckerOh, I'm so glad to see you!
BBob
That's nice, John.
Dr. John BeckerI was talking to the cigarettes.
BBob
Becker, I just had a great idea!
Dr. John BeckerThe first one's always exciting, isn't it?
BBob
I was doing some research on the internet...
Dr. John BeckerMust have come as a surprise that it's not all porn, huh?
BBob
One shock at a time.
[about a patient]
Dr. John BeckerWhat does he want?
To bask in the sunny warmth of your disposition.
Dr. John BeckerDid you ever hear me say that?
No, but it certainly sounds like you!
[about relaxation tapes]
Dr. John BeckerYou'd be surprised how many people give 'em to me for Christmas.
I'm surprised people give you presents at all.
I have to leave early today.
Dr. John BeckerAnd leave me alone with Linda?
OK Here's the thing...
Dr. John BeckerAw come on Linda, no THINGS!
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
I don't have a license to sell alcohol.
Dr. John BeckerYou don't have a license to sell rat hair, either, but that never stopped you.
RRRegina 'Reggie' Kostas
Do you think it would be silly for me to go back to college, now?
Dr. John BeckerNo, I think it would silly for us to have this conversation again, ten years from now.
[a patient can't open the door]
Dr. John BeckerDoor's unlocked right?
Yup.
Dr. John BeckerAnd he still can't get in?
Apparently.
Dr. John Becker: I guess I can be a little more tolerant.
Oh, come on, you can't possibly be that stupid! If you keep pulling and it isn't working there is only one possible option, press the button and push!
[opens the door and looks to Dr. John Becker]
Jackass!
Dr. John BeckerFeels good, doesn't it?
Dr. John BeckerHey, Hector, how is everything?
Well, actually...
Dr. John BeckerRhetorical question, I don't really care.
More Becker characters
All Becker quotes →
Jake MalinakAlex Désert · 58 quotes
LindaShawnee Smith · 36 quotes
RKRegina Kostas36 quotes
MargaretHattie Winston · 32 quotes
BBobSaverio Guerra · 28 quotes
Reggie KostasTerry Farrell · 9 quotes
Chris ConnorNancy Travis · 8 quotes
PatientMary Steenburgen · 8 quotes
Mr. GarlandPaul Bates · 5 quotes
TetzloffRobert Joy · 5 quotes
PMPhil Morrison4 quotes
AnitaSara Mornell · 3 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Becker pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.