Roxy LeBlanc quotes from Army Wives

Trevor

I love weekends! [starts kissing Roxy]

Roxy

[stops Trevor] Honey!

Trevor

[surprised] What?

Roxy

We need a new car.

Trevor

Ok, how did we go from what we just did to "we need a new car"?

Roxy

I dunno. Good sex doesn't change the fact that I have to put oil in the car every time I get gas.

Pamela

[describing her first day at work to Roxy on the phone] [...] And then I meet my FTO and he's just––

Roxy

Excuse me, your what?

Pamela

Um, my Field Training Officer...

Roxy

Ughhh, they're as bad as the Army!

Pamela

[angrily to them] Hey, what are you guys doing?!

Roxy

I've known my car longer than I've known you Trevor. I've slept in it, cried in it. I almost had TJ in it. Not to mention it's where you and I first "you-know'ed" in it.

Trevor

[nods] Yeah. And I still got the scar from that broken spring to prove it

Roxy

It's just like losing an old friend, is all.

Trevor

You want me to keep it around? I could work on it when I get back.

Roxy

Um, no. I'm good.

Trevor

We're doing live fire exercises. Gotta shake off the rust.

Roxy

Wait, you all are doing live fire exercises today?

Trevor

We gotta train under combat conditions.

Roxy

Don't you think that's kinda bad luck to do that on Day 99?

Trevor

I don't think the Army worries about it when they schedule these exercises.

Roxy

Well, they should.

Trevor

Babe...[kisses Roxy] You need to relax. I promise you, no one's gonna get hurt. [leaves]

Roxy

That includes you Trevor. [Trevor grins as he walks out] I mean it!

Roxy

So if we make it to a hundred days, it's gonna be like one big party around here, right? So I went ahead and I ordered a boatload of shrimp for The Hump and now I kinda have this bad feeling like, maybe I jinxed everything.

Claudia Joy

You're showing confidence in the 23rd. You're betting on success.

Roxy

True.

Claudia Joy

And I don't think a food order could affect field exercises.

Roxy

Ok...well, now I feel silly!

Claudia Joy

No, no. Soldiers are superstitious. Michael wore the same t-shirt everyday when he was in the Gulf.

Roxy

[looks at Claudia Joy in disbelief] That's gross. And unhealthy.

Claudia Joy

And for the last week, he's eaten nothing but eggs for breakfast.

Roxy

And Trevor always gets dressed in exactly the same order.

Claudia Joy

Soldiers need to feel lucky. So do we. So if eggs can work for Michael then I guess shrimp can work for you.

Trevor

Babe, I am so glad this day is over.

Roxy

Yeah, so am I.

Trevor

You know, when I made Sergeant, it was to become a recruiter. I never thought about leading a team until I was told I had to deploy. But these guys, they're counting on me to bring them home. It's a huge responsibility.

Roxy

Yeah. I get that.

Trevor

I thought today was about testing my men. But you know what? It was about testing myself. [pauses, looks at Roxy] What about you? What did you decide with the whole shrimp thing?

Roxy

[smiles] I doubled my order. I figured that I couldn't lose betting on the 23rd.

Trevor

Damn straight.

Trevor

[rushes in] Hey babe, I need a favor. I ran into time at the SRPC so I need you to get my will looked over for me, ok? [hands Roxy an envelope and rushes into his room to get something]

Roxy

What? Your will?

Trevor

[from room] Yeah, I made a few notes. It's all there.

Roxy

Uh, Trevor, I do not have time.

Trevor

[rushes back out] It needs to be done today and...[kisses Roxy before dashing out the door] I gotta get back for equipment inventory and inspection. I love you...

Roxy

Yeah, but––

Trevor

I promise I'm gonna make it up to you. Promise. [closes the door]

Roxy

[annoyed] How? You're leaving!

Claudia Joy

There's always too much to do before deployment

Roxy

Yeah...

Roxy

I don't like any of this. Wills, funeral arrangements, "what hymn do you want sung?"

Claudia Joy

It's always hard. How are the boys handling it?

Roxy

We're gonna tell them tonight. I just wanted them to have as much time as possible without worrying. I still can't believe he's going. Thought I'd be used to it by now.

Claudia Joy

We never get used to it. We just get through it. You will too.

TJ

[angrily] You said three years!

Trevor

[trying to calm TJ] And I meant to be here that long.

Roxy

But he Army needs your dad in Afghanistan right now.

Why?

Trevor

'Cause we're fighting over there.

TJ

You lied!

Trevor

We didn't lie to you, bud.

TJ

You said you got a new job. You didn't say you were deploying.

Roxy

We wanted to find the right time to tell you.

TJ

You never told us anything! [goes into his room] You think I'm just a little kid! [slams door]

Roxy

Your brother's upset, that's all.

[sadly] Dad'll miss my birthday.

Roxy

Officer Boone, Officer Moran.

Pamela

What are you doing here? I figured you'd be spending the day with Trevor.

Roxy

You know him. He's making sure that his men are ready for deployment so I'm just popping in to check on Chief and then I'm popping right back out.

Hey wait a minute. Maybe you can tell me. What's her type? [points to Pamela]

Pamela

[annoyed] Stop!

Roxy

[confused] Her type?

Of date. A guy at the station asked her out and she turned him down.

Roxy

[to Pamela] You got asked out on a date and you didn't even tell me?!

Pamela

Ok, no. A guy asked him to ask me. It's like passing notes in study hall.

Roxy

Uh, yeah, right. [to Boone] That is not her type.

Denise

I feel my heartburn flaring up and it just gets worse when I lay down. There's no chance I'm gonna sleep tonight so I'll just watch some TV or something and try to zone out.

Roxy

Really? We have DVDs.

Denise

No, really, it's ok. I could watch anything right now. [chuckles] I saw this infomercial last night about this egg thingy that removes dead skin from the bottom of your feet. [chuckles] I realized I can't even see my feet. [laughs and suddenly begins to cry] Oh, Roxy, what am I gonna do? Frank is gone and Jeremy is gone and I'm so tired and I'm just gonna be tired for the rest of my life. And baby's not gonna sleep for months and then she's gonna need carpool and then she'll be a teenager and she'll hate me and want to.... [chuckles] Oh god...and then she'll go to college and she'll meet a boy and she'll get married and she'll..... [worried] Oh, what if it doesn't work out and she moves back home and then....I'll hate her?? Or what if it does work out and she has babies and then I'll be a grandmother!...And then I'll have to watch them and then the babies won't sleep and then what am I gonna do?!?? [starts crying again]

Trevor

All right, babe. This is what we've been working on. You ready?

Roxy

Let's have it.

Pamela

[looks on in amazement] I haven't seen that move since the 80's. [Roxy continues laughing] Wow...oh my...

Trevor

[comes up to webcam, embarrassed] Oh wow. All right, we're gonna talk about this later. [switches off his webcam]

Roxy

Bye! [closes laptop]

Pamela

[laughs] That was a good way to end my shift.

Roxy

[still laughing] I am in so much trouble right now!

Roxy

I'd rather have a colicky baby than a crabby teenager any day.

Roland

I thought TJ was twelve.

Roxy

Yeah. He's twelve going on sixteen. I swear he suddenly woke up like a completely different person. He doesn't want to do his chores. He doesn't want to play with Finn. He stays in his room all the time.

Pamela

Well, we all know what that means.

Roxy

Oh, no! Do not even go there!

Pamela

I'm just saying you might wanna see what kind of magazines he's keeping under his mattress.

Roxy

[laughs in horror] Trust me, I do not!

Roland

That's perfectly natural. [Roxy looks at him] I'm just sayin'.

Denise

Gotta strap yourself in, Roxy. The teen years are not for the faint of heart.

Claudia Joy

No.

Denise

High drama. High stress.

Claudia Joy

The worst part? Just when things start to get better, they leave.

Denise

[about meeting Jeremy's fiancée] I don't know that "excited" is the right word. Not that I don't want to meet her. It's just...incredibly weird. I mean...I'm gonna be a mother-in-law.

Roland

Ah yes, the hyphenate that strikes fear in the hearts of women everywhere.

Pamela

And I suppose you love your mother-in-law, huh?

Roland

She never visits, she never calls, what's not to love? [gets up to leave] I gotta go home to see my wife.

Roxy

Oh, sure, rub it in. You've got someone to go home to unlike the four D's here.

Roland

"The four D's"?

Roxy

Deployed, deployed, deployed, divorced.

TJ

What are you doing here?

Whit

It's me Whit. Remember? Your Mama's friend?

TJ

Get out!

Roxy

Woah, woah, woah. What did you just say?

TJ

Why is he here?

Roxy

Do not sass me. This is Whit. He's my friend.

TJ

Like the friends you used to have before Dad?

Roxy

You apologize.

TJ

[angrily] No! If Dad was here he would kick his ass and you know it!

Roxy

[points to his room] TJ, get in your room right now and do not come out until I tell you different! You hear me?!