Roxy LeBlanc quotes from Army Wives

Roxy

Roland, she's a little "ripe".

Roland

Oh, um, diaper's in the bag. [points to the bag and runs off]

Roxy

I didn't volunteer to change diapers!

Roland

[off camera, out of earshot] Time to get back into practice!

Roxy

[grumbles to herself] They always disappear. Always! [to Sara Elizabeth] Just so you know!

Roxy

Do you ever think about having more kids?

Pamela

Hell no. That ride is closed!

Pamela

Ok, what's really going on?

Roxy

What?

Pamela

Well, all of that stuff. The swollen ankles, the misery, that's temporary. We both know that. So, what's really bothering you? Don't you want to have a kid with Trevor?

Roxy

I don't know. [pauses] I guess, I don't want things to change, that's all.

Pamela

What are you talking about?

Roxy

Our life has been so good and, before Trevor, I was just so worried about TJ and Finn having a good home. And now they do.

Pamela

And?

Roxy

And, what happens if there's a new baby?

Pamela

Oh! You think Trevor is going to favor the new baby over TJ and Finn?

Roxy

[sighs] I don't know. I guess. Maybe. I don't know.

Pamela

He loves those boys like their his own because they are. He adopted them. He didn't have to do that.

Roxy

I know. I'm just being silly. My boys mean everything to me.

Pamela

And to Trevor too. You know that he has enough love in his heart for three children. Just don't expect him to help with midnight feedings.

Roxy

Um, ladies, I think the concert's starting.

Oh, yes, yes. We know.

[relieved] We escaped. Just in time. I swear, if it isn't singing children, it's puppies to pet, or bingo cards to fill in. No thank you.

[looks at Roxy and Pamela] But I'm sure your children are adorable.

Pamela

[rolls eyes] Yeah. Most of the time.

Roxy

[deadpan] Yeah. Today, I could've drop-kicked them across the parade ground.

Pamela

[takes a swing] Damn it! Either my boobs have gotten bigger or my arms have gotten shorter.

Trevor

Just keep your knees bent and your head down.

Pamela

I'm trying!

Trevor

All right. Let's see how you address the ball.

Roxy

Ok. [clears throat] Hi, ball.

Trevor

[laughs] I meant, let's see your stance.

Roxy

I know what you meant. Geez, lighten up. You played high school golf, not the PGA Tour.

Trevor

Babe, the game comes with its own language.

Roxy

I can see that.

Well, Lenny should be here any minute.

Claudia Joy

We're delighted your wife could join us.

Michael

Absolutely.

After my wife died I was sure I'd never get married again. I mean, who'd want to marry an old warhorse?

Denise

You suffered a service, General.

Then along came Lenny. Vibrant, beautiful. She understands what Army life is about.

Claudia Joy

How'd you meet her?

Six months ago in DC at a fundraiser. She loves helping other people.

Claudia Joy

She sounds wonderful

I think you're gonna like her. There she is. [calls out] Honey, over here!

[in shock] Lenore???

Hello, dears. Small world, isn't it?

Roxy

Lenore Baker??? Tell me I'm dreaming.

Pamela

Yeah. You're havin' a nightmare! What is she doing here?

Roland

Well, from the looks of it, she is General Ludwig's new wife.

Pamela

[in disbelief] How did she get her hooks in a four-star??

Roxy

Oh, she must be a dynamo in the sack.

Roland

[makes a face] Oooo.

Roxy

What, come on, what else could it be?

Roland

Aw come on now, let's be fair. Lenore was a very supportive wife to General Baker.

Pamela

Let's not be fair. She's a heartbeat-wannabe muzzled.

Roxy

Yeah, and don't forget, she accused Claudia Joy of murder.

Pamela

And spread a rumor that Michael was a racist.

Roxy

And she didn't have very nice things to say about us either.

Pamela

Yeah.

Roland

I'm not saying the woman's perfect.

Roxy

[while eating cake] Would it be inappropriate for me to hurl this at Lenore's head?

Pamela

Only if you miss.

Roxy

[glumly] I got a bit of good news. We don't have to worry about bar fights. We don't have enough customers.

Trevor

[smiles] You're hysterical. [looks up at Roxy] Hey, what's wrong?

Roxy

[shakes head] Nothing. I'm happy.

Trevor

Rox, this is you happy?

Roxy

And I wanna make you happy.

Trevor

Come here. [pulls Roxy onto his lap] Baby, you always make me happy.

Roxy

We don't have enough money.

Trevor

Yeah we do. Ok, no we don't. But so what? We got each other, right? You, me and the boys.

Roxy

And the dog.

Trevor

And the dog.

Roxy

And Finn's bugs.

Trevor

[laughs] And Finn's bugs.

Roxy

And the new baby.

Trevor

[still in shock] Baby? [Roxy nods] We're having a baby?

Roxy

[looks at Trevor] Are you happy?

Trevor

[pauses] [jumps up in delight] Yes!!! Yes!!! This is me happy!

Roxy

[tearfully] Because you said it's not the right time.

Trevor

This is the greatest thing you've ever said to me since "I do".

Roxy

Well, you haven't seen me with fat ankles.

Trevor

Babe, I love fat ankles and I love you. [picks Roxy up and hugs her]

Roxy

Look, you're upset and you have every right to be, but it's not really the best time to make a big decision. We both know that Army life is this big cycle––

Pamela

No, Roxy, it is not the Army. It's him. Your husband's in the Army and he made a choice. Trevor chose you. I can't tell you how amazing that is to me!

Roxy

Boy howdy. They got strollers in here for $500. For that kind of money it should push itself.

Trevor

I bet they're cheaper at the PX.

Roxy

Well, it doesn't matter if they are. We gotta beg, borrow and steal everything we can before we spend a dime on anything real. Besides you can't go poking around the PX 'cause I haven't told anybody about the baby yet.

Trevor

[looks at Roxy in astonishment] Rox, you're killin' me. Why haven't you told your friends yet?

Roxy

When was I supposed to tell them? After Jeremy tried to shoot himself? Oh, or when Pamela left Chase? Or maybe I should've done it––

Trevor

Ok, ok, I get it. Just don't let other people's stuff stress you out. It's not good for the baby.

Roxy

I'm not stressed about other people's stuff. I'm stressed about my own stuff, like the ban on The Hump Bar, the Mustang's on its last leg, we gotta get all this new baby gear.

Trevor

Babe, I got a plan.

Roxy

Oh really. What's that? A bake sale?

Trevor

That's funny. No, I'm getting a second job.

Roxy

What??!

Trevor

A lot of guys moonlight.

Roxy

[looks at Lucky] Why don't you get a job, huh? Your kibble isn't free y'know. Hey, you look at me when I'm talking to you.

Pamela

Some things never change.

Roxy

She's changed all right. Now that she bagged General Bigshot, she's ten times worse.

Claudia Joy

Forget Lenore. We've got work to do.

Roxy

Meanwhile, my business is in the toilet, my bills are getting bigger, I've got the baby and now––

Claudia Joy

[interrupts Roxy] Woah. Baby? You're pregnant?

Roxy

[realizes that she slipped her secret] Ohhh. [smiles] Yeah. I am.

Claudia Joy

Oh Roxy, come here. [gets up and hugs Roxy]

I heard on TV once that if you're nervous of people, just picture them naked.

Roxy

Um, yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

Claudia Joy

[walks to join Denise and Pamela at the table] What did I miss?

Pamela

About a beer and a half. [laughs]

Roxy

[brings a bottle of wine to the table] Wine.

Claudia Joy

I think this occasion calls for a toast. [holds cup] To The Hump. Can't keep a good bar down.

Pamela

Really, Rox? Water?

Roxy

Yeah. Water. It's better for the baby.

Pamela

What?

Denise

Baby?

Roxy

[squeals in excitement] I'm pregnant!!!

Roxy

Mommy is pregnant.

Trevor

Wow. Come on. Your mom's having a baby!

TJ

[unenthusiastically] Really?

Why??

Roxy

Uh...because...we thought it would be fun for you guys to have a little baby brother or baby sister?

TJ did it.

TJ

You were there too.

I told you not to.

TJ

No you didn't!

Trevor

All your mom and I wanna know is why.

TJ

You never asked us if we wanted a new baby.

Yeah.

Trevor

[surprised] What?

Roxy

Go ahead, TJ.

TJ

You're gonna love the new baby more than us because it's really yours and we're not.

Trevor

Buddy, is that what you think?

TJ

It's true.

Trevor

No, no it's not.

It isn't?

Trevor

No.

TJ

We saw at the park playing with that baby.

Trevor

[takes a deep breath] Look, guys. Maybe I wasn't there when you were born. But for me, you two are mine and you're always gonna be mine. No matter what. Ok?

TJ

Ok

Roxy

See, it doesn't matter if somebody is your birth parent or not. All that matters is that they love you. And your dad and I love you so very much.

Trevor

And you need to know that there's a lot of love inside every person. It's just not something that gets used up and then there's no more.

Roxy

When this new baby comes, there's gonna be just so much more love in this house.

TJ

You mean like when we got Lucky?

Roxy

Yeah. Like when we got Lucky.