Young Mr Grace quotes from Are You Being Served?

Old Mr Grace

She's a lively little thing...

Captain Peacock

It's young Mr. Grace.

Is that Young Mr. Grace?

Mr Grainger

Old Mr. Grace doesn't get about much.

Mr Rumbold

Good evening, Mr. Grace.

Young Mr Grace

I hope I'm not too late.

Captain Peacock

No you're not too late, Mr. Grace.

Mr Lucas

Nah, there's still plenty of cabinet pudding left, Mr. Grace.

Captain Peacock

I suppose he's come to hand over the clock.

Mr Rumbold

Yes, just in time. (Goes over to Mr. Humphries and Mr. Lucas) Ahem...

Mr Humphries

(Stands up) Ahem...

Mr Rumbold

Shall I continue, Mr. Grace.

Young Mr Grace

Oh, please do, Mr. Rumbold.

Mr Rumbold

Well, I was about to remark how very much we appreciate the long years of devoted service, the great consideration that you've always shown for all those with whom you have worked.

Mr Grainger

Thank you.

Young Mr Grace

Thank you.

Mr Rumbold

We... We feel... We definitely feel that after all these long years, you have truly earned a rest. And therefore all that remains... (Picks up the cuckoo clock) ...is for this to be presented. (Gives the clock to Young Mr. Grace) Here you are, sir.

Young Mr Grace

Oh, thank you. This is a surprise. How very nice of you all. I've given a lot of these away, but I've never got one. Well my doctor says I shouldn't be out, so I'm now going. (to Mr. Grainger) Another five years, and you'll be getting one of those, Ernest. (to the rest of the staff) Well, goodbye, all.

Goodbye, Mr. Grace.

Young Mr Grace

You've all done very well.

Thank you, Mr. Grace.

Captain Peacock

Well, Ernest, it looks as if you're staying on.

Mr Grainger

Yes, it does. Of course, I'm very happy about it, but I - I should have liked a bit more leisure. (Turns to Mr. Rumbold) Could I have Monday off?

Mr Rumbold

Certainly not.

Mr Lucas

Well if he's not leaving, he won't be needing his presents, will he? (Takes a present away)

Mr Mash

For...

(sing together) He's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow... and so say all of us!

Young Mr Grace

Well I'll be one tight long, I always go to the club on Tuesday evening.

Mr Rumbold

Oh, oh yes, the Bridge Club.

Young Mr Grace

No, no, no, the strip club.

Young Mr Grace

[Wearing glasses] I can't find me spectacles, you read it.

Mr Harman

Uh, yes. Now, this is the oldest. [Points to chest of drawers]

Mr Grace

The bow front with the short legs?

Mrs Slocombe

That'll be you, Mr. Goldberg!

Shh! I want to hear!

Mr Harman

The top's in very good condition, bit of dry rot in the leg, and the knob's going to fall off! [Mr Goldberg is shocked)

Young Mr Grace

What about that pretty little piece?

Mrs Slocombe

That must be you, Miss Brahms.

Mr Lucas

Well, it certainly won't be you!

Mr Harman

Outwardly, in very good condition. Unfortunately it's got a screw loose! And the knockers aren't genuine...

Miss Brahms

[Outraged] Blummin' cheek!!

Mr Harman

That brings me to this one, here.

Mr Grace

Oh, the big chest?

Mrs Slocombe

[Appears uncomfortable]

Mr Harman

Once used by a lot of soldiers, there was a lot of odd things found in the drawers, which once removed, you could plainly see the ravages of time. Oh, and there's rising damp in the bottom. Now, we come to the pouf.

Mr Humphries

[Looks embarrassed]

Mr Harman

Outwardly in very good condition. A bit older than it looks, a bit saggy in the middle, and probably worth hanging onto if you're prepared to have it stuffed!

Mr Humphries

[Faints, collapses into Peacock's arms]

Old Mr Grace

Happy birthday, dear brother.

Young Mr Grace

It's not my birthday, you silly old fool. No wonder the department is losing money.