“Stage Two” · Season 2, Episode 8
In this episode: Malory Archer (8), Ray Gillette (3), Cheryl Tunt (2), Cyril Figgis (2), Pam Poovey (1), Dr. Krieger (1), Mallory (1)
Do anything fun this weekend? [Malory ignores her] 'Cause I sure did. Friday night was cornhole league and
[Interrupting] If I cared what you did on a weekend I'd put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes. [Malory leaves]
On Saturday I watched a building burn down.
Pam, those quarterly reports better be on my desk when I walk in there!
Ummm... Are you walking in there right now?
[Malory has revealed she may have breast cancer]
My entire laboratory is at your disposal.
[Sarcastically] Thanks. I'll let you know if I need a hybrid pig-boy.
A What?! I don't have one of those! [Cut to a shot of Krieger killing 'Pigley'] ... Anymore.
[Archer is standing over what appears to be a partly-dismantled nuclear warhead. It's emitting a green glow]
Wait, seriously don't open it?
[via Com link] Yes!
Oh. I thought you were being sarcastic.
[Holding a radioactive vial] Looking for this? Or maybe the lead container I probably should've kept it in?
Yup, Stage Two breast cancer. Yeah, I mean it's not as bad as stage three or four. But, obviously not as good as no cancer.
It's a pink ribbon, I have breast cancer.
[Laughing]' Seriously, breast cancer?
Yes.
Sure it's not lady vagina cancer?
[Laughing weakly] Excuse me.
[He leaps on Brett and starts punching him.]
[Between punches] I'm trying... to stay positive... both mentally... and spiritually... Brett!
Well he certainly doesn't have cancer in his fists.
Nah, he's beatin' his ass.
[To Woodhouse] Macrobiotic food. Find out what that is and start cooking it.
[seriously drunk without eating all day] If I don't get something to eat, I'm literally going to die.
I spent last night in the tombs, getting worked over by the cops!
Fun! ... Oh, you mean literally.
[In the waiting room] Oh my god! how much Cancer was in him? This is so boring amd forever-taking.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
