...and then, give me the file I asked for!
Yeah, why don't I shove a broom up my ass and sweep the floor while I'm at it?
What was that?
Nothing!
Good. Saves you the embarrassment of an incredibly homophobic remark.
Awwwww.
“The Papal Chase” · Season 4, Episode 11
In this episode: Malory Archer (5), Lana Kane (5), Pam Poovey (3), Swiss Guard (3), Cheryl Tunt (1), Ray Gillette (1)
[Pam's holding a large mirror above the Pope, who's sleeping]
Put that down, Pam, he's not— [Pam drops the mirror right on the Pope] —dead! Nice job, Oliver Cromwell!
I killed the Pope!
Yeah, that's why I said Oliver—
[Jumps on top of the mirror that's still on the Pope, grabbing Archer by his shirt] JESUS CHRIST, I'M GOING TO HELL! I'M GOING TO HELL! I— [Archer slaps her four times]
Pam.
Yes?
[Beat]
Get off the Pope.
Lana! NOW!
He said, last-wordsingly.
[Archer pulls up in a Bubble Car]
Are you shitting me?!
What? It was either this or the Vespas. It's not my fault Italy's so gay!
The good news is my men have apprehended Cardinal Correlli, who immediately confessed to the plot.
HA-HEY! That is good news!
You know how the whole the good news is thing works, right?
The bad news is...
Oh, right.
So, what are you, like, the Mafia?
Hah! We are like your Mafia...
Like Seal Team 6 is like the Girl Scouts.
Exactly.
But the real good news is that we saved the Pope's life!
For which we are grateful. However, we cannot tell these two apart, so...
So I actually have an idea about that.
Is it... take them both home, see which one's a better butler, and give the other one back to the Catholic Church?
Uhh, never mind.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Archer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.