Aqua Teen Hunger Force quotes

Dusty Gozongas

Is that Pennsylvania?

Yes!

Shake

Oh, God, how much longer? Egypt is so boring. It doesn't even exist anymore, I mean, you don't hear DMX rap about it!

I find that this is highly effiligent in edumacationus for my brain, because, I am smart, boy!

Master Shake

You tell me how this is gonna help you get a high-powered six-figure job. You think they ask Tom Cruise this stuff before he signs on his movies? No one has to know this, ever!

Frylock

Shake, just go back to the gift-shop and let Meatwad and I enjoy the exhibit, okay?

Master Shake

You need me here! I am a strong counterpoint to the headphones!

I think we're having a communication breakdown here, because you keep saying "plague of snakes", and all I hear is "Easter bunny, Easter bunny, Easter bunny".

Man, You're thinking of stealing that shirt, don't you?

Shake

Yeah, think about it. Yes. Now take the form of a hammer!

Ho ho ho. What is going on out here?

Why it's a big ol' happy easter e- [Easter Egg breathes fire on Santa] Oh God!

Shake

[singing] Oh-hh my Go-od, I-I'm the boringest guy in the world!

Hey, make sure my house is completely crushed if you could.

It's okay, they're in love. Hey, where you goin'?

What're you doing? You missed my car! [Destroying his own car] Help me out with this!

It's the middle of fucking July! I was sleeping!

Well, uh...

Those faggoty elves don't even come in 'til September!

Thank you, Frylock. If I survive...I'm gonna beat the fuck outta that little meatball!

Frylock

Look, Santa, I am so sorry. Meatwad just got a little carried away, that's all.

He got a lot carried away. You know that remote controlled race car he wants? Oh yeah, he's gonna get it...FAR UP HIS ASS!!

Frylock

Whoa, whoa whoa. Calm down, now Santa.

We might see if the reindeer like meat this year!

I can't see too well with the soccer ball lids...

Frylock

It's okay.

...I believe this is Jeffy's house, and if I remember correctly...he wants a wooden train.

Frylock

Great! Did you hear that Meatwad?

All right, Jeffy's getting his very own...

Wooden brain.

Frylock

Train, you idiot! Train!

Don't you talk ugly to me! I'll send ya to the moon with my magic shirt.

Frylock

[resigned] Yeah, I know, Master.

Jeffy's just gonna have to bite the bullet on this one. Because it has been a long night, and we ain't even done the eastern seaboard yet.

Just give it to him, he's...not a, not a bright child.

Shake

Master, can I ask a question? You said we'd be trading off at some point. Is that close?

We gonna finish up America, then we do Europe, then you knock out the Middle East yourself.

Shake

Fuck you!

Cry me a river, bitch!

Time? (laughs) Time is an illusion. The only time is party time, are we clear?

Yeah I'm the basketball.

So what...what kind of germs he got there?

Frylock

Hypno-germs, Meatwad. Their only interest is to control your mind.

Oh thats right, and I'm an asshole for asking.

Shake

Thank you! You sir, you've got a nice young lady with you! What's your name?

Phil Cabinet.

Shake

You precious little thing, where ya from, Phil?

We're from...Kill Yourself!

Shake

Alright, Phil from Kill Yourself! And who's this with you? [growls seductively]

This is my six-month-old, and her name is Wear a Hat Made Out of Foil. This is my wife, Lock Yourself in a Cold Dark Room.

Hi.

Shake

And how long have you two lovely people been married?

Oh, about smear yourself with garbage and try to cross the freeway.

We just celebrated our eat your own dung.

Shake

Great to hear, yummy too! [laughter] Hey, Phil, thanks for comin' out. Like the shirt, both of you, you match!

Shake

Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Tulip Sniper!

Thank you, thank you very much! Die! [fires another burst] Die, all of you.

Master Shake

All right! All right! Will everybody settle down please? We're not deaf! Okay.