TV show quotes
[Travis is at a job interview]
I would say that perserverance number one aplitude...appitude...attribute! I people person, work good with children. People like me, because I force them to, with violence!
That's uh... do you have any questions for me?
I rule you!
Well, it was really nice to meet you and I'll let you know in the near future if we start hiring...animals.
Thank you, bitch. Suck it dry!
Yo! Is you the little joker that's been bringin' me sand?
Yes.
Man, what you thinkin'? Look here man, what're you, the Sandman or somethin'? C'mon, get it together boy!
But it's...for the Shorteez, ya know.
It's for the EPA is who it's for.
What? Who said that? Man, you bring people over here. You ain't supposed to bring people over here unless they dead. Is he dead? I don't think so.
If the Shorteez can't have food, then I ain't gonna have food. You know what I'm sayin'? (he throws the sandcakes in the garbage can) I do this for the Shorteez, ya'll.
Yeah, take it to church, dump it in the collection plate. You know, you're the rudest person I know, and that's why you don't live here anymore. I--
(Meatwad takes Shake's breakfast)
Hey! My steak and eggs!
Steak and eggs?!
This is for the Shorteez.
All I got is a mug of oatmeal!
Listen, we're on a budget. What do you want me to do?
(taking Frylock's mug) Thank you very much.
Hey, damn it! I was going to eat that.
Oh, gee whiz, I'm so sorry to inconvenience you while other people in the world don't got nothin' to eat.
Thanks for sandin' up my eggs. You know what, just take 'em...when you leave the country. I banish you forevermore!
Can someone please explain to me what happened to my duckling a l'orange?!
We had duckling a l'orange?
You don't even know how to say it, so stop...try it once. No, forget it. You know what? You're gonna try it and then you're gonna screw the name up, and then it's gonna sound disgusting. I won't even want to eat it anymore. Thanks. Thanks for ruining my lunch, which is gone, by the way.
Have you looked in the fridge?
[sarcastically] Oh, brainstorm! Alert the Internet, I got a genius on my hand... oh, wait a minute. It's already open, 'cause that's where I put it when it was shipped in from Alsace!
Try looking deep within your heart and ask it where it wanted that duck to go.
Down your throat, you bug-eyed freak! You know how much that duck cost?! Higher than you can count!
I'm sorry to say this, but Shake's right Meatwad. Charity is one thing, but this is getting way out of hand! I mean, we don't have anything to eat now!
Well, I don't know about that and I...
Don't. Say. Sand.
Hey, Satan my man! What's up, man?
SHUT UP!!! [fire blows Sir Loin away] I'M ON THE PHONE HERE!!!
Don't you see Frylock? He's gonna use all that fly spit to melt down the walls of the national bank.
That's right.
He's angry at banks.
Hate the bank-- .....STUPID-ASS MEATBALL MOTHER-- I MELT THE WALLS SO I CAN GET THE MONEY!!! To keep up with the payments on this here patio furniture which by the way is broken now 'cause I broke it thank you very much. Ever seen a cow sit on a patio furniture? I ain't! Look at that umbrella, man, I ATE HALF OF IT!
Hey, Carl!
Oh, great.... you've seen me...
Hey, you wanna contribute to Sir Loin's hunger drive? We're gonna feed the shorties, y'all.
Yeah, lemme see here, I think I've got some... uhhh.... oysters over here. (Horks into the bag of food)
Oh, thank you
Be sure to thank Sir Loin for keeping me up all night!
Yeah, I'll do that. Hey, I thought that... oysters had shells.
Oh, usually, but not these. They were, uh... farm raised.... in my throat.... with cheese. Hey, you want some crabs, 'cause I've got some of them.
No, no... my bag's pretty full right now.
I don't know if they're Alaskan King, but.... they feel huge
What the hell happened to you??
YOU tell me! One minute, I'm going in for a job interview and the next, BOOM, I'm in Hell!
All right, truth time. Tomorrow morning, you and me, we get those bills paid together.
Shake, tomorrow is Sunday!
You're right, church!
[The cable goes out as a result of Shake not paying the bills.]
There goes the cable.
Terrorists!
Look, we've got electricity and we've got each other.
[Their power goes out.]
...Look, we've got each other. What, are you gonna bill us for that now?
Hey, how come the shower ain't workin'?
I don't know. Probably maybe something you did to anger God. He's angry with you all right, I remember him telling me that--
Uh-huh.
--at the Last Supper.
Uh-huh.
--Yeah, they had good fish there.
Has he learned his lesson yet? Please tell me he has, cause this is getting old over here. BLEND!
Look, I'm sure he'll come around and...maybe even learn something. Just give it a few more hours, okay?
A few hou-?! Look here! I'm getting hungry and thirsty; usually by now, I'd be on my fifth weenie smoothie, and guess how many I've had? Zero.
(smelling the weenies) Phew! Well, those weenies are spoiled by now, Meatwad. I mean, the fridge hasn't worked for a whole day.
Pssh, I don't keep 'em there. I age them on the windowsill, so that when they get all sticky and slimy and smelling bad, like they's rotting?
Ugh...
...that's when they's getting good.
Really.
Let me go off-topic here for a bit: you know how much protein's in a weenie smoothie?
Um, no.
Zero. BLEND!
Meatwad, no!
Meatwad, YES!
Well I'm just glad that you finally learned some responsibility. [goes outside and sees dozens of extension cords hooked up to Carl's house] In the most ass way possible.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Aqua Teen Hunger Force pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
