No. I'm not gonna end up like Pavayne--cheating Hell any way he could, no matter who it hurt.
FFred
Just proves what I've been telling everybody.
That I'm a handsome devil who brightens the place up?
FFred
That you're worth saving.
S5Hell Bound
S5Life of the Party
KKnox
And how do you know your spell-casters didn't screw up the payload?
Because I went over the work and I got that knowing feeling you get when you know something.
Look, Lorne...I have things. I'm busy. [Lorne stares] I'm brooding.
[Turns around to see television is on.] Oh, you're watching hockey!
Yeah, but my team is losing.
FFred
[slurring, as a demon bumps into her.] Hey, you want a piece of me, buddy? That's right, keep walking. You walk alone! You walk alone!
Careful, that thing's loaded.
FFred
So am I. I mean, wow. Wes. Wesley, [puts her arms around Wesley's neck] I am totally drunk-faced!
Because you can't hold your.. What are you drinking?
FFred
Nothing.
You can't hold that.
FFred
Oh, yeah? Lightweight? How much have you had?
[holds up a beer bottle] Including this, I've had... about 1/3 of a half of this beer.
FFred
That's weird, right?
Yes, I think so. I think that's weird.
FFred
There's Gunn. Let's go ask him if that's weird.
[Fred and Wesley walk up to Gunn, who's facing away from them.]
Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on? [Gunn turns toward Wesley without moving his hands, which are together just below his waist] Charles, you just peed on my shoes.
[looks down, confused] I'll be damned. [zips his zipper] That's weird.
Everything he's told us to do, we're doing. Spike's thinking positive. Gunn is peeing all over the office.
FFred
[slurring] And we're a little bit drunk.
Yes! But not because we drank. Because Lorne told us to be drunk!
[to Gunn] Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
Lord, I hope so.
You pissed in the big man's chair? That's fantastic!
Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
What? The Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that's bloody fabulous.
[referring to Angel and Eve] oh you two. The sexual tension. with a knife I could cut it, get a room.
S5The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco
Ow!
WWes
What happened?
The mail guy threw me.
What?!
Number 5?! [smiling] He did this? Isn't he like 100 years old?
Hey! Fred! Did ya hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy.
What?!
FFred
Not Number 5? You didn't hurt him?
No. I -- he attacked me.
We should find him.
Absolutely. Wanna buy him a pint. Bloody made my day.
Hey, professional opinion. Sexy soccer mama or brainy beauty? You're an aging sexpot celebrating a decade of turning twenty-nine. You got two little rugrats who aren't that little, a husband who thinks the extras trailer's a buffet table and gravity ain't doing you any favors. So "Happy Birthday, sexy mama" or ...Fred! Fred, sweetie, you're sort of like a woman.
FFred
That's not a compliment.
Well, more so than El Cid here. I need some insight. You're an aging...
FFred
I heard. Don't mention her birthday, don't send a card, send a big bunch of flowers just because she's special and pefect and eternally bladi bla.
Staring me right in the face. Genius
FFred
And I'm a lot like a woman.
You're all woman. You're every woman. You're Wonder Woman!
FFred
Damn straight.
Holy tornado, it's true!
Yeah, it was amazing! Angel went right off on the mail guy.
Oh this must've been one major smackdown!
There was no smacking!
That's not the hubbub I'm hearing, honey buns. Word on the web has you sucker punching Grandpa Moses.
The web?
Don't sweat it, sweetie pie. I've got my flack-catcher spinnin' this into PR gold. And once the word spreads that you beat up an innocent old man, the truly terrible will think twice before goin' toe to toe with our Avenging Angel.
Yes. The geriatric community will be soilin' their nappies when they hear you're on the case. Bravo!
Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playing Agatha Christie.
Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Called shotgun, mate.
Oh. [pulls up a shotgun] I thought we were doing a weapons check.
Nothing wrong with that. [pulls up an axe] We may need these bad boys if we're going up against some Mexican Day of the Dead heart-sucking monster.
Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile... [Angel suddenly spins the car around in a 180]
Always was a bit of a drama queen.
S5Lineage
[About Wesley] Willing to risk anything... or anyone... for the greater good. Look, hey... I'm just asking. Could it be there's another reason you're getting so mad at him about this? Mmm... stealing your son, for instance?
We don't talk about my son.
You don't trust Wesley, do you? I mean, I can see that. He did turn Connor over to your sworn enemy.
He didn't mean for that to happen. He thought he was doing the right thing.
And I guess it all worked out. Connor's OK, you're happy. Maybe Wesley knew what he was doing after all. Even if he doesn't remember any of it.
That's got nothing to do with... I just want to be kept informed. That's all.
Is it? Or are you worried about the next time Wesley betrays you trying to do "the right thing"?
FFred
Listen to you. You're blaming yourself because poor Fred got hurt. Stop trying to be all valiant. You're coming off like a self-pitying child.
[staring past Fred] Hello, father.
FFred
Oh, yeah, that's mature. Well, I wish I was your father. I'd tell you to grow up.
RWRoger Wyndam-Price
It doesn't work. I've tried.
Wesley Wyndam-Price, you should be ashamed. I didn't know you had a younger brother.
Lorne. Yes. This is my father, Roger Wyndam-Price.
RRoger
How do you do?
A father? Well, I don't believe it. Well, OK, I do believe it, but only 'cause I heard you were in the building. Ha ha ha. Well, look at you. It's like Winston Churchill and a young Richard Harris had a beautiful love child, which, according to my sources, may not be as ridiculous as it sounds.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.