Ow!
WWes
What happened?
The mail guy threw me.
What?!
Number 5?! [smiling] He did this? Isn't he like 100 years old?
S5The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco
Hey! Fred! Did ya hear? Angel attacked the old mail guy.
What?!
Not Number 5? You didn't hurt him?
No. I -- he attacked me.
We should find him.
Absolutely. Wanna buy him a pint. Bloody made my day.
Hey, professional opinion. Sexy soccer mama or brainy beauty? You're an aging sexpot celebrating a decade of turning twenty-nine. You got two little rugrats who aren't that little, a husband who thinks the extras trailer's a buffet table and gravity ain't doing you any favors. So "Happy Birthday, sexy mama" or ...Fred! Fred, sweetie, you're sort of like a woman.
That's not a compliment.
Well, more so than El Cid here. I need some insight. You're an aging...
I heard. Don't mention her birthday, don't send a card, send a big bunch of flowers just because she's special and pefect and eternally bladi bla.
Staring me right in the face. Genius
And I'm a lot like a woman.
You're all woman. You're every woman. You're Wonder Woman!
Damn straight.
Holy tornado, it's true!
Yeah, it was amazing! Angel went right off on the mail guy.
Oh this must've been one major smackdown!
There was no smacking!
That's not the hubbub I'm hearing, honey buns. Word on the web has you sucker punching Grandpa Moses.
The web?
Don't sweat it, sweetie pie. I've got my flack-catcher spinnin' this into PR gold. And once the word spreads that you beat up an innocent old man, the truly terrible will think twice before goin' toe to toe with our Avenging Angel.
Yes. The geriatric community will be soilin' their nappies when they hear you're on the case. Bravo!
Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along.
Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playing Agatha Christie.
Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat.
Called shotgun, mate.
Oh. [pulls up a shotgun] I thought we were doing a weapons check.
Nothing wrong with that. [pulls up an axe] We may need these bad boys if we're going up against some Mexican Day of the Dead heart-sucking monster.
Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile... [Angel suddenly spins the car around in a 180]
Always was a bit of a drama queen.
S5Lineage
[About Wesley] Willing to risk anything... or anyone... for the greater good. Look, hey... I'm just asking. Could it be there's another reason you're getting so mad at him about this? Mmm... stealing your son, for instance?
We don't talk about my son.
You don't trust Wesley, do you? I mean, I can see that. He did turn Connor over to your sworn enemy.
He didn't mean for that to happen. He thought he was doing the right thing.
And I guess it all worked out. Connor's OK, you're happy. Maybe Wesley knew what he was doing after all. Even if he doesn't remember any of it.
That's got nothing to do with... I just want to be kept informed. That's all.
Is it? Or are you worried about the next time Wesley betrays you trying to do "the right thing"?
Listen to you. You're blaming yourself because poor Fred got hurt. Stop trying to be all valiant. You're coming off like a self-pitying child.
[staring past Fred] Hello, father.
Oh, yeah, that's mature. Well, I wish I was your father. I'd tell you to grow up.
RWRoger Wyndam-Price
It doesn't work. I've tried.
Wesley Wyndam-Price, you should be ashamed. I didn't know you had a younger brother.
Lorne. Yes. This is my father, Roger Wyndam-Price.
RRoger
How do you do?
A father? Well, I don't believe it. Well, OK, I do believe it, but only 'cause I heard you were in the building. Ha ha ha. Well, look at you. It's like Winston Churchill and a young Richard Harris had a beautiful love child, which, according to my sources, may not be as ridiculous as it sounds.
[about the cyborg] This thing really blurs the line between human and robot.
Aha. So you're not ruling out that a human being could have boffed a robot.
[everyone stares at him]
Sex with robots is more common than most people think.
Daddy, eh? I always though Wesley was grown in some sort of greenhouse for dandies.
RWRoger Wyndham-Pryce
Spike.
You've heard of me?
RWRoger Wyndham-Pryce
No, we've met. 1963, my colleagues and I fell upon you slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed 2 of my men before you escaped.
Oh...how've you been?
[A bomb is about to go off. Wesley orders an evacuation. Spike starts running]
Wait. What the hell am I worried about?
[The lights in the Wolfram & Hart elevator suddenly go out.]
That's odd.
I know what this is. YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME TO HELL, PAVAYNE!
[Emergency lights come on and an alarm sounds.]
Oh. Well, that's just something I say... when, uh... it gets dark.
So I am covered in cherries. The police are just pounding on the door, and Judi Dench starts screaming, "Oh, that's way too much to pay for a pair of pants!"
Hello, father.
RRoger
Walk away from this, Wesley. You'll never understand what we're trying to do here.
You're using the Staff of Devosynn to take Angel's will, make him your slave. Your cyborgs panic a bit too easily.
RRoger
That creature's more dangerous to mankind than you realize.
You're wrong about him. He's not what you think.
RRoger
He's a puppet. He always has been. To the Powers That Be, to Wolfram & Hart. Now he's ours.
You went to a lot of trouble to get this staff. [Flash to Wesley's father pulling a gun out of the cyborg's body in the lab.] You had us attacked, you smuggled in a weapon...you brought in an army so you could escape. I don't know why you're doing all this, but did you ever once consider there might be another way? Did you ever once consider talking to me about it?
RRoger
No. You've failed me enough for one lifetime.
Wesley!
Fred, get out of here!
What the hell is going on?
RRoger
You know what that vampire is and what he's done, and you follow him anyway?
Maybe I know what I'm doing. Why can't you trust that?
RRoger
You disgrace yourself with the council, you join forces with him, and you have the nerve to ask me why I can't trust you?
I've done everything you ever asked, and I've done it well.
RRoger
I asked for this, hmm? I wanted to be humiliated?
No, I suppose I don't know what you really wanted. You never had any use for me as a child, and you can't bear the thought of me as an adult. Tell me, father, what is it that galls you so? That I was never as good at the job as you... or that I just might be better?
RRoger
Oh, yes, this is Los Angeles. We have to talk about our feelings. Then maybe we'll hug.
It's doubtful.
[In the background, there's the sound of helicopters approaching.]
RRoger
Hand me that staff.
No.
RRoger
Now, don't make me shoot you.
[Holding the staff over the edge of the roof.] Go ahead.
RRoger
Do you know how powerful that thing is?
I don't care.
RRoger
I will kill you for it. Please believe me.
[The helicopter is hovering over the roof, shining bright white lights on it.]
Oh, I believe you. I was raised by you, after all. But I drop this, the crystal shatters, and Angel is restored. So I reckon whether I live or die, your plan has failed.
RRoger
I see. Well, then... maybe if it's someone you care about...
[Roger turns his gun towards Fred, but Wesley shoots him without restraint. Wesley walks up to his father's fallen body and stares, upset. Fred looks at him, then at Angel. Wesley stumbles away, dropping his gun as he goes, and bends over behind a roof vent to vomit. Fred looks after him, concerned. When Wesley stands, he hears the buzzing of electronics behind him. He turns to look and sees his father's body fade into the body of a cyborg, shimmering with electricity. Wesley stares at it in disbelief.]
You know, I killed my actual father. It was one of the first things I did when I became a vampire.
I hardly see how that's the same situation.
Yeah, I really didn't think that one through.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.