I saw their production of "Giselle" in 1890. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!
S3Waiting in the Wings
[Angel has bought tickets to a ballet instead of a rock concert.]
No, this is not Mata Hari. This is tutus and guys with their big-ass packages jumping up and down! This is just -- I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.
Oh, get over it. Do we get dressed up?
Of course.
I'm in.
Guys, seeing the ballet live, it's... it's like another world. Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're going to be tripping out.
Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust.
We have to find a dress for you. Something that'll make Angel go crazy.
Fred, sweetie, Angel is crazy.
Back in the day, I'd always get box seats. Or, you know, eat the people who had them.
(singing) Go to sleep, lullaby, you've been fed and you're sleepy. You'll be with uncle Lorne, who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet. And is certainly, not thinking, of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer...
[A security guard is blocking the only way backstage at the ballet.]
You want I should distract him? Make with the nice-nice while you slip by?
Don't be stupid. I'm that guy and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen is making eyes at me? It's either a bachelor party or a scam.
What did you just call me?
I'm sorry. You're not stupid.
No. After that.
I think I'll just have to go with my patented sudden burst of violence.
Hey, hold on. I think I might have an approach that is a little more subtle.
[A smiling Cordelia approaches the guard.]
Hey! Do you like bribes?
GGuard
Do I ever.
[Cordelia holds up a $20.]
Well, we really want to go backstage.
GGuard
Yeah, okay, but this isn't so much a bribe as it is a tip, and since I'm not parking your car, there's really no way--
[Angel punches guard in the face.]
Okay, that's how we do it.
Ask me why I'm smiling.
I will because it's scaring me.
Oh, relax, crumb cake. Man, little Connor burps like a champ.
At least he's sleeping.
Who wouldn't? With that sweet Irish lullaby you crooned. Just a hair flat on the bridge, but - more to the point - Cordelia?
What about her?
I read you while you were singing, you big corn muffin, and uh, can't say as I blame. I mean, what a woman she's become.
You're not supposed to be reading me. Anyway, you read me wrong.
Sorry, strudel. It's not just when you're singing. We got a little term back in Pylea. Kyrumption?
I know it.
Okay. When two great heroes come together-
There will be no coming together, okay? Everything we've been through together and all anybody wants to talk about is...
Can't fight Kyrumption, cinnamon buns. It's fate. It's the stars. Kyrumption is...
Stop saying that. And stop calling me pastries.
You got to promise not to laugh.
I promise.
It's gotta come from the heart.
Will you stop being such a little girl? I said, I promise.
[Gunn steps out into Fred's view and spreads his arms so she can get a look at his tux, not looking at her. Fred's eyes go wide. After a moment she bursts out laughing.]
This is what your promises are worth? I'm having a lot of trust issues at this time in my life.
I say it once, and gloat all you want: these guys are tight, and I am trippin' out!
S3Couplet
Why can't you have sex?
Because I could lose my virginity.
If you want to play it that way..
VISIONity. The visions. In Pylea the visions were supposed to pass on to Groo if we ever did the royal "com-shuk". How do I know that won't happen here?
Good point. You really don't.
But your recent transformation could have changed all that. It might be possible...
[Angel kicks the table to interrupt]
Still, you know. Better safe than sorry. You're doing the right thing.
I know. I know. I can't risk it. It's just.. I'm so.. And he's such a.. Don't you think?
[Angel and Wesley start to agree reluctantly]
I mean there's got to be other things we could do to relieve the tension.
Jogging could be a thing.
Or perhaps there's some form of paranormal prophylactic...
Cause you know, jogging...
I guess we could probably "com" without actually "shuk"ing.
Well, I don't know. That could be a slippery slope that.. Once you're on that.. That you could.. Slide..
[upon hearing Angel's cellphone] Angel, your coat is singing.
When you knew it was more than just a tryst you should have told me.
It happened so fast. The thing just grabbed the guy and he was gone.
That's.. That's not what I meant.
Oh. You mean.. Well. I'm not so sure that's any of your business.
No, you're probably right. Still, she could get hurt. I trust that won't happen.
What are you, her brother?
Apparently..
Wesley, I...
She chose. It's just important to me that she's taken care of.
I remember him being taller.
A trick of the light. They don't actually get smaller until they're very, very old.
I didn't mean the baby.
I know you didn't.
I meant the Groosalug.
I know you did.
Did he seem, ah, - I don't know - short?
Oh, absolutely. Clearly the guy shrank - all over, probably. Why, he's nothing but a muscley midget. I'm sure once Cordelia gets him home, she'll just pop him into a smallish drawer, and that will be that.
S3Loyalty
I wanna know how he does it. No last name, no bank account. How are you ordering stuff off the web?
It's not that hard, really. All you have to do is hack into the shipping database, find someone who is ordering what you want, then substitute your information. Except that would just be high-tech robbery.
I memorized Cordelia's credit card numbers.
Oh. Low-tech robbery.
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