TV show quotes
Everything's in there?
Right down to the baby that wasn't supposed to be born.
How do you know about that?
I'm Files and Records. It's my job.
(flabbergasted) That whole thing is Angel's file?
Just the first 35 cabinets.
Right. Does China Palace deliver down here?
(preparing for the assault) What are you doing?
Trying to imagine myself as John Wayne in Rio Bravo. You?
Austin Stoker. Assault on Precinct 13. (they high five)
If we live through this, trade in the DVD players and get a life.
[Angel walks into the office, walks up to Linwood, slices him across the cheek, and pushes him facedown against the table.]
My son has a tiny scratch on his cheek, and now, by extraordinary coincidence so do you. I'm holding you personally responsible for anything that happens to him whether it's your fault or not. Cold, sunburn, scratched knee, what ever happens to him, happens to you, and then some. [He pulls Linwood back up, pushes him back into his chair and leans over him.] For not only are you not coming after him, you gonna make sure that he lives a long, healthy life. You just became his godfather, understand?
I believe I do.
[Guards come in, in response to the alarm.]
Sir?
It's all right.
[Angel starts to leave but turns back around before he reaches the door.]
Oh, and one more thing. College fund? Start saving. I got my heart set on Notre Dame.
I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.
Oh, great. But I'm not the mother.
Oh, I'm sorry. (turns to Fred) I'm happy to report you have a healthy baby boy.
Oh. Me neither.
I'm afraid the mother is, ah, no longer in the picture.
I see. Well, his height and weight are in the ninetieth percentile. We gave him his vitamin K and his PKU and he's doing very well. We don't seem to have his - what's his name?
(arriving) Connor. His name is Connor.
Connor. Thank you. Mr. (looks at the papers) Angel. And congratulations.
Thanks.
Connor. That's a lovely name. I don't suppose you ever considered Wesley?
No.
[Wesley shrugs]
You're - you're - death? You've come to take me.
[bursts out laughing] Kidding. [Offers hand] I'm Skip. [She doesn't shake it] You're Cordelia Chase, right? [Cordelia nods slightly] Sorry it took me so long, I... [indicates her body] this you? Most people go astral, their spiritual shapes tend to be an idealized version of themselves. You know, straighten the nose, lose the gray, sort of a self-esteem kind of thing. You're pretty confident, aren't ya?
Is this...? This is a Mall.
We just figured you'd be more comfortable here.
We?
The Powers That Be.
The Powers That Be popped me out of my body and sent me to a Mall?
Actually, this is more a construct of a Mall. You know, like in "The Matrix".
You've seen "The Matrix"?
Oh, love that flick. When Trinity is all 'dodge this' and the agent just crumples to the [Cordelia sighs] and I'm not really instilling any awe anymore, am I?
Inside every living thing there is a connection to the Powers That Be. Call it instinct, intuition. Deep down we all know our purpose in this world.
Are you saying that, I was meant to be an actress?
No. I'm saying you were meant to be an incredibly famous and wealthy actress. And the Powers That Be can make that happen.
I want something. Hypo-something. Hypothermia?
[to phone] Josh, lets get a large tub of ice water to Miss Chase's dressing room, pronto.
[to herself] No, that's not it.
Cancelling ice water.
Hyper... hyperbaric?
Josh, make it an oxygen tent.
[to herself] No, that's not it either.
Canceling tent.
[spins to Nev] Hyperion! That's it!
The hotel.
Yes. I wanna go there.
We've been over this. I respect what you're trying to do. It's noble and heroic and all that other Russell Crowe "Gladiator" crap.
You've seen -
Didn't love it.
[watching Fred with Connor] Adorable.
So sweet.
I meant the baby.
I meant the hot mama.
Lorne, I need you to use your contacts and find out what Holtz is up to. He's out there somewhere, and we can never forget that. Finding him is our number one priority.
I thought you said...
Finding Holtz and making money are our two number one priorities.
(Cordelia walks by and clears her throat)
Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities.
[about his web articles on DNA Fusion Comparisons and Tri-ped Demon Populations] It's an exciting arena.
But one I'm sure we can all download at: I'll-never-know-the-love-of-a-woman-dot-com. Can we get down to business?
Guys, can I say something? Money's important (pauses) but it isn't everything. I got... I got carried away. (looks over at the pile of money) I just never had a life that was totally dependent on me before. But that's no excuse. (looks at the money again) Where was I?
Money's not the most important...
No, it's not. What's important is family ... and the mission.
(after a long pause and looking at the money) They tried to cut Fred's head off. We earned every penny.
Hold the baby.
(everyone begins grabbing money furiously)
We can't afford any more mistakes. Making mistakes costs money and making money right now - it's our number one priority. [Lorne enters] Hey, Lorne.
Uh, if this is about the baby formula I snagged from the fridge last night - sorry. I was feeling a little peckish and it was that or a glass of pig's blood. By the way, baby formula and Kaluha? Not as bad as it sounds.
Lorne, I need you to use your contacts and find out what Holtz is up to. He's out there somewhere, and we can never forget that. Finding him is our number one priority.
I thought you said...
Finding Holtz and making money are our two number one priorities.
[Cordelia walks by and clears her throat]
Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are our three number one priorities.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
