Lilah Morgan quotes from Angel

Angel

Lilah. I just had to drop by and congratulate you on your big promotion. Co-vice president of the special projects. Wow. That's super. You deserve it. Yeah. That and.. so much more.

Lilah

Angel..

Angel

But you know what the real special part is? To think that maybe in a small way I helped make it happen for you. Makes me feel all good inside.

Lindsey

How-how do you expect us to succeed when you handcuff us with these idiotic rules protecting Angel?

I'm sorry. Did you say something?

Lindsey

Angel is an obstacle to everything that we do. Give me one good reason why we can't just kill him!

Because Angel is a major player.

Lilah

In business?

In the apocalypse.

Lilah

Oh. That.

The prophecies all agree that when the final battle is waged, he plays a key role.

Lindsey

Good for him.

Which side he's on is the gray area, and we're gonna continue making it as gray as possible.

Lilah

Works for me.

Until then, his growing obsession with the two of you, the increasing possibility that to scratch that itch, he'll go so far as to kill you... Well, that could actually play in the firm's favor.

It would be a sign that Angel is on the path to joining our team. And as hard as it is to lose good attorneys, well the truth is - you are both expendable.

Angel isn't.

These re-evaluations are always a bit of a mixed blessing. Sad as we lose one of our own, but also hopeful as we turn towards the future and promote one of our own. Lilah, you have made a lot of great contributions and I know you have tried your very, very best...

Lilah

No! [she scrabbles for her purse, but Lindsey puts his hands over hers]

Lindsey

Lilah. Please. [she stops and looks at him] They chose me. I'm clearly the guy.

Yes, you are.

Lindsey

You could've had it. But you didn't have what it takes...

Lindsey

...an evil hand. I mean, come on. Who here does, huh? Leon doesn't. Charlie doesn't. You do know you gave me an evil hand, right? I've been writing "kill, kill, kill" on everything. It's crazy. It's crazy! Anything could happen!

[signaling security guard] Allen?

Lindsey

Allen, how are you? [punches him and steals his gun] Uh-oh! [shoots Allen in the foot] Oh, that's gonna hurt in the morning. Stop it, evil hand, stop it! I just can't control my evil hand. Nathan, I'm so proud that you chose me. [rubs a co-worker's hair] Charlie! If I'd been in your shoes, I would've chosen Lilah. Let me tell you why. Do you have any idea of the hours this chick has logged in? Huh? The files she has on you guys? Deep stuff. Ronnie, your stock manipulations; Nathan's little offshore accounts. Can you imagine if something were to happen to this girl, and those files got back to the Senior Partners? They'd eat you alive! She's been working overtime, boys. She's everything you ever dreamed of. Lilah is your guy. Me, I'm unreliable; I've got these evil hand issues. And I'm bored with this crap. And besides, I'm leaving, so if you wanna chase me, be my guest. But remember- [holds up his hand] evil. Good luck. [gooses Lilah passing her and holds up his hand] Evil!

Lilah

There's a young man who's been unfairly imprisoned. And you're going to save him. Isn't that what you do? Save people? You'll need those items to succeed.

Angel

I see. I do this for you and you stop sending Cordy the killer visons.

Lilah

No, you'll do this because I tell you to.

Lilah

Cordelia Chase, right? You came here to gloat?

Cordelia

I can do that anywhere. Are you going to invite me in? Oh, wait. I'm not a vampire. (walks in)

Lilah

(sarcastically) Please, come on in.

Cordelia

I want you to tell me about Billy. Everything you didn't tell Angel. I want you to help me stop him.

Lilah

And what makes you think I'm going to do that?

Cordelia

Well, your face, for starters.

Lilah

I know the risks of my job, and I accept them.

Cordelia

Then why were you crying five minutes ago. (Lilah looks surprised) There's not a thing about badly re-applied mascara that I don't know.

Lilah

I am not Lindsay McDonald. I don't switch sides whenever it gets tough. And since when is this your job? I thought Angel was the Dark Revenger.

Cordelia

Angel feels responsible for this guy because he brought him back from hell. I feel responsible because he did it to save me. You, who are actually responsible for the entire thing, feel nothing at all, because you are a vicious bitch.

Lilah

So you know me.

Cordelia

Please, I was you. With better shoes.

Lilah

These are Versace.

Cordelia

Fall collection?

Lilah

Next spring.

Cordelia

He's widened the heel.

Lilah

And rounded the toe.

Cordelia

That won't work with pink.

Lilah

The pink is out this spring.

Cordelia

Billy makes people crazy.

Lilah

Not all people. Just men. He brings out a primal misogyny in them. Turns them into killers.

Cordelia

Then why didn't he do it to Angel?

Lilah

Angel's seen him?

Cordelia

Yes, right before he escaped from the cops. (Lilah laughs) What's so witty?

Lilah

Billy's touch work's differently on different men. Some lose their mind in an instant. Others, can take hours. Gee, I sure hope Angel isn't starting to feel testy.

Cordelia

You better hope it.

Lilah

I know. I've seen his dark side.

Cordelia

You really haven't. (Lilah looks nervous) I have to find Billy.

Lilah

And I'm going to help you why?

Cordelia

You know that guy you hired to hack into my visions? What he did to me? You know what it felt like? I was cut, torn up, my face disfigured and burning with pain every second, not knowing if it was going to end or just get worse until I died.

Lilah

So you think I owe you?

Cordelia

It's not the pain. It's the helplessness. The certainty that there is nothing you can do to stop it. That your life can be thrown away in an instant by someone else. He doesn't care. He'll beat you down until you stay down, because he doesn't even think of you as alive. No woman should ever have to go through that, and no woman strong enough to hold the mantle of vicious bitch would ever put up with it. Where is Billy going?

[About Linwood] He's gonna crucify us.

Lilah

They don't crucify here. It's too Christian.

Lilah

What does it say about the birth?

Well actually, it's funny. It doesn't.

Lilah

What do you mean it doesn't? But you said it did.

Yes, I did say it did.

Lilah

But it doesn't.

In a way.

Lilah

I have a gun.

Lilah

Everything's in there?

Gwen

Right down to the baby that wasn't supposed to be born.

Lilah

How do you know about that?

Gwen

I'm Files and Records. It's my job.

Lilah

(flabbergasted) That whole thing is Angel's file?

Gwen

Just the first 35 cabinets.

Lilah

Right. Does China Palace deliver down here?

Sahjhan

That's it? No 'wow, how did he do that?' No screaming in terror? You twenty first century types are so jaded.

Lilah

You're Sahjhan, aren't you? I may be jaded, but I do my homework. And there's a girl downstairs, she's got records on everything that ever happened. My company rocks.

Lilah

Like a cat. Can't hear you. But I'm starting to feel you when you're near. Isn't that nice and creepy? How did you find me?

Angel

Your assistant.

Lilah

I'll have his arms broken.

Angel

Already taken care of.

Sahjhan

You back-stabbing, traitorous bitch. I have a lot of work to do. I can't be in every time/space at once, and here I find you drinking with my sworn enemy.

Angel

Sworn enemy? Really? Have we met? Because I don't remember swearing.

Lilah

Sahjhan, he found me.

Angel

So (glances from Lilah to Sahjhan) you all are in cahoots. Ethereal time-traveling demon, you're the screwball that brought Holtz back. How's that working out? He's not very fond of demons, is he?

Sahjhan

You will learn nothing from me.

Lilah

Other than that you're his sworn enemy, who brought Holtz back, and when that didn't work out, you came to me. Idiot.

Sahjhan

Hey! You think my life is easy? I'm jumping from one dimension to another. I don't always have sound. Sometimes it's just a visual. Saw you two sitting here all chummy.

Sahjhan

Not all of us. You do not want the child alive. You want the child dead. That was our arrangement.

Lilah

Yeah. I'm a lawyer. Have you met me? We have a new arrangement. I'm keeping the baby.

Sahjhan

You can't do that!

Lilah

(to the commandos) Ignore the loud mouth with the bad skin. He's impotent in this dimension.

Come any closer and I'll snap his neck!

Who are they?

Lilah

They work for me.

Ah. The attorney.

Lilah

Yes. You are gonna give us the kid, Captain Holtz.

Angel

Don't!

Lilah

That's cute. You'd rather see the fanatic with the baby than us? [To Holtz] Those are automatic weapons pointed at you. They didn't have them in your time. They fire sixteen bullets per second.

Angel

And if they were going to use them they would have already. They want the baby alive.

Something we all have in common.

Sahjhan

Not all of us.

Lilah

Don't shoot.

Angel

Yeah. You really don't want to. Your bullets won't kill me. But mine will kill you and her first.

He'll be dead before I hit the ground.

Angel

I know.

So. I'm going to leave now, right? With me, he gets to live, anyone tries to take him, he dies.

Angel

Take him.

Sahjhan

Woah! No! What is wrong of you people?

[To Angel] I will take good care of him, as though he were my own son. He'll never even know you existed. Don't come after me. You will though, won't you? Maybe I should just..."

Angel

No. Please.

Angel

Take him.

Wesley

Dante's Divine Comedy.

Lilah

Actually, it's just part one. The Inferno. It's not a first edition. More like the 1500s. But it is in the original Tuscan. Have you read it?

Wesley

Several times.

Lilah

Then you know it's a guided tour of the underworld. The nine levels of hell.

Wesley

Yes, descending, concentric rings based on the severity of the sin.

Lilah

You know, I always forget. At the very bottom of hell, in the ninth circle, the devil's frozen in ice, right? He's got three heads, three mouths, and these mouths are reserved for the worst sinners. I can't remember, who is in the center mouth? What was his name? The one person in all of human history who was deemed the greatest sinner. Who is it?

Wesley

Judas Iscariot.

Lilah

Right. The worst spot in hell is reserved for those who betray... So don't pretend you're too good to work for us.