[Doyle returns from a dangerous task.]
CordeliaYou're alive!
Cordelia
We were worried.
Oh! Well, it's all gonna be okay n... [Cordelia slaps him] ...What was that for?
Cordelia
Why didn't you tell me you were half demon? I thought we agreed that secrets are bad!
I wanted to tell you. I was afraid. I thought if I did, you'd reject me.
Cordelia
I rejected you way before now! So you're half demon! Big whoop!! I can't believe you'd think I'd care about that. I mean, I work for a vampire! Hel-lo?
Cordelia
What do you think I am, superficial? I mean, you're half demon. That's so far down the list. Way under 'short.' And 'poor.' Is there anything else I should know?
The half demon thing? Pretty much my big secret.
Cordelia
Good. That's out. It's done. Would you ask me out for dinner, already?
[Cordelia enters the office after her audition.)
Hi. [she doesn't answer and he looks at her more closely] Everything okay? [in one smooth motion, she puts down her bag, reaches for him and kisses him] Hmm. Hmp. Mmghmm! [he puts his hands on her shoulders, gingerly pushing to get her off, trying not to offend her) Okay, uh... Cordelia, that was, uh... I, I think that you're acting out of grief, and you're confusing our... friendship... for something more...
Cordelia
I didn't feel anything. Did you feel anything?
No! You see, that's what I'm trying...
Cordelia
Urgh! That means I still have it. Damn! I can't believe he did this to me.
Cordelia
Doyle! I thought our kiss meant something. Instead, he used that moment to pass it on to me. Why couldn't it be mono or herpes?
[rubs his mouth] Cordelia...
Cordelia
I didn't ask for this responsibility, unlike some people, who shall remain lifeless. I don't have anything to atone for. If they know what's good for them, the PTB better just stay out of my head.
...Powers That Be... you had a vision?!
Cordelia
Boy, howdy! And you know how they look painful? Well, they feel a whole lot worse.
[sits as understanding washes though him] "Another door opens." You're my link to the Powers now.
Cordelia
I am nobody's link to anybody. I lost control of my entire central nervous system getting that stupid vision. And I'm not certain, but I might have... drooled... a little in my audition, the first one I've had in weeks.
Cordelia
Oh, uh, StainBeGone. It was a national, no less. They'll probably never call me again...
[snapping fingers] The vision. What was the vision?
Cordelia
Oh, who cares? It was a thing.
Cordelia
An ugly, grey, blobby, thing. What difference does it make?
The difference is, if you saw it in a vision, this could be an ugly, grey, blobby, dangerous thing.
Cordelia
I don't care! I want it out of me. And if kissing is the only way to get rid of it, I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom. [enter their current client, demon Barney, from the rest room, drying his hands]
BBarney
Sorry, I thought I heard voices...
Uh, Barney, you remember my associate, Cor... [Cordelia kisses Barney] ...delia?
Cordelia
[rubs her mouth] Well, maybe not every frog.
BBarney
Boy, I gotta say, I like the way you people treat your clients!
[In the kitchen, Cordelia and Angel have just shared a moment of silence for Doyle. Angel goes back to scrambling eggs.]
Well, I'll be off then. Farewell, Angel. Who knows when our paths will cross again.
Cordelia
Do you even know where you're headed?
Rogue demon hunters rarely do. Wherever evil lurks, wherever the forces of darkness threaten humanity, that's where I'll be. [Angel pours a glass of orange juice for Cordelia.]
Cordelia
Oh, okay. Well, keep in touch.
Yes. Yes, I will. But now, the evil lurking everywhere bids me onwards! So... I go.
Cordelia
Take care!
Yes. [sets foot on first stair, then leans back into hallway] No rest for the wicked fighters. Through storm and rain. Heat. Famine. Deep, painful, gnawing hunger... I go.
Ooh! [takes off coat] I suppose so!
You've got to make it tight.
Cordelia
Aghh, like I need instructions from you. My glamorous L.A. life--I get to make the coffee and chain the boss to the bed! I gotta join a union.
Cordelia, I, I think that's tight enough.
Cordelia
And if it turns out that we're back on the liquid lunch? Better safe than cocktails.
[Wesley has just shown Cordelia a news clipping about a murdered girl.]
I think you'd better sit down. While executing my duties as Watcher in Sunnydale, I did extensive research, specifically on Angel, given his uncomfortable proximity to the Slayer.
Cordelia
He looked pretty comfortable to me.
When I saw this story today, it rang chillingly familiar. So, I reacquainted myself with certain facts, confirming, I'm sorry to say, my grim suspicions. In the late 1700s, it was Angelus' custom to sign his victims by carving a Christian cross into their left cheek. He liked to let people know he'd been there.
Cordelia
Okay. You get to leave now. You're not going to come in here and accuse Angel like this.
Cordelia
No! I don't care how many files you have about all the horrible things he did back in the powdered-wig days! He is good now. And he is my friend, and nothing you or anyone else can say will make me turn on a friend!
Cordelia
[to Wes] You stake him and I'll cut his head off.
I have no memory of doing any of these things.
Cordelia
ah, not exactly the confidence-inspiring denial I was looking for.
Killing dreams. Always the same, I - I stalk them, toy with them, mark them while they're still alive. And before they can die from the fear I feed on them.
Cordelia
Okay, so you've been having nightmares. It doesn't mean you-
They're not nightmares. I've enjoyed them.
Cordelia
Oh...
Hello. I was just in the neighborhood, patrolling with my new Bavarian fighting axe when I suddenly thought, "Perhaps Cordelia has had a vision." Perhaps you need my help in the battle against evil.
We seem to be evil-free at the moment.
I also packed along a Word Puzzle 3-D, if either of you has the nerve to take me on.
Cordelia
Gee, Wesley, I'd love to... but unlike you, I'm not in my eighties quite yet.
If shaking your booty at the latest trendy hot spot is your idea of a life, then call me... [Cordy's gorgeous friends Serena and Emily enter] ...sick with envy.
SSerena
[to Wesley] Hi. I'm Serena. Nice ax.
Oh, no, this old thing? [accidentally embeds weapon in wall]
So, you're seeing someone? How come I haven't met him?
Cordelia
'Cause I'm ashamed of you, not to mention how you'd embarrass me by giving him the third degree.
EEmily
Your boss could give me the third degree anytime.
Cordelia
Oh, um... so... [collapses and convulses; Angel and Wesley try to distract Serena and Emily so they won't notice Cordelia having vision]
[pushes some mail off desk] Um, uh, Cordelia! Grab that file.
[bending to pick up mail] Don't worry. Heh Heh. Whoopsie! [straightens up]
Lounge La Brea. Sounds like that could be an evening with all sorts of evening type... I heard the bands there are...
SSerena
They don't have bands.
Which I like, 'cause if it's too loud...
Oh, I think I may be busy. [flash of Cordelia's vision] Besides, um, I don't, um, lounge... all that well.
[loud laugh] Good one. Oh, yes, no. He's no lounger, this one. [throws arm across Angel's shoulders] Hmm-mmm.
SSerena
[aside to Emily] The good ones are always gay. Cor, tick-tock. [Cordelia shakily stands]
[asking about her vision] So, that client I'm supposed to be meeting tonight... What's he like again?
Cordelia
Like a big baby hatching from a big egg, with really large hands, in need of a manicure. You're meeting him here. [writes down address, then moves toward door with girls]
Cordelia
Okay. Are my girls ready to party?
[The day after the party.]
Cordelia
I'm so glad you came. You know how parties are. You're always worried that no one's going to suck the energy out of the room like a giant black hole of boring despair. But there you were in the clinch!
Cordelia
You used to be a person! Did you never party? Did people not gather in olden times?
I talked to people. Laura.
Cordelia
Okay, Laura thought you hated her. I had to tell her you were challenged.
I don't hate her. I, I've got two modes with people: bite and avoid. Hard to shift. Plus, I can't get too close. I mean, with women...
Cordelia
You can be nice. It's not like Laura's gonna throw you down on the living room floor and tear off all of your... Well, actually, Laura...
I'll try harder. Still, I mean, the quiet, reserved thing, don't you think it makes me kind of... I don't know, cool?
Cordelia
[points at Wesley, just entering] He... was cooler.
[sits down hard on sofa] Now I'm depressed.
[Oven timer dings. Wes checks his sole.]
Cordelia
[off] They're done! Nobody touch.
I think she's making brownies.
Oh, is that what I smell. I thought I tracked something in.
Cordelia
[enters] The recipe was handed down to me from my mother, who got it from her housekeeper, plus I improvised a little. You're gonna love 'em!
Cordelia
Uh huh!
Doesn't Angel have to... get to... try any?
Cordelia
They're brownies full of nutty goodness, not red blood cells.
Oh. I wasn't thinking. More of a drinker than an eater, I suppose.
Cordelia
[having difficulty cutting] Maybe if you'd branch out into the solids he'd keep a decent knife around. [starts to hack in pan with special enchanted Keck knife]
[shooting to feet] That is not appropriate! It's for killing extinct demons! Angel, make her stop!!
That blade is very old! Who knows what kind of corrosive effect your cooking may have on it?
Cordelia
[brandishing knife] 'Corrosive effect'?
Cordelia, just.. put down the very sharp knife...
Well, they don't smell right.
Cordelia
I think Mr. Too-Much-Cologne is the pot calling the kettle stinky.
Cordelia
Pretend to read any good books lately?
Cordelia. I thought you went home.
Cordelia
[sits] You called him 'Doyle.'
It... just happened. I hope Wesley's okay with it.
Cordelia
Oh, who cares about him. This is about Doyle. You never say his name.
Cordelia
No, you don't. Look, you don't have to be Joe-stoic about his dying. I mean, I know that you have this unflappable vibe working for you, but you don't have to do that for me.
Cordelia
Great! So... flap.
[stands, walks to window, turns] ... ... I miss him.
Cordelia
[smiles] Me, too.
I've been around death before. A lot. I've lost people, I've killed people...
Cordelia
And you are dead. ...Sorry.
It shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have let it happen.
Cordelia
Angel, it wasn't your fault. It hurts.
Angel · 793 quotes
