Wesley Wyndam-Pryce quotes from Angel

Cordelia

He's been doing for us. He should pull in a check.

Angel

I'll think about asking him, all right?

Cordelia

No think, pay. That's an order.

Angel

Hey! How about we pretend that you work for me.

Cordelia

You are really unpleasant-

Angel

Then why don't we pretend that you don't.

Cordelia

You can't fire me. I'm vision girl. [Sticks her tongue out.]

Angel

All right, I'll think about asking him, okay? Maybe. On a case by case.

Cordelia

My hero.

Wesley

I was going to suggest that.

Cordelia

Mm-hm.

Cordelia

You shouldn't worry, Angel does this kind of thing all the time.

Makes tea?

Cordelia

Helps people. You know, he helps people with problems.

So what's wrong with you?

Wesley

Where to begin?

Wesley

What about my salary? That's fixed too.

Cordelia

What if every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books, we gave you ten bucks? Or a chicken pot pie?

Wesley

Wait, I have another idea -- no. Get a vision!

Cordelia

Well, it's not like you can hit me in the head and wham, it happens!

Wesley

What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?

Angel

Children, stop bickering.

Angel

I'm not crazy, I'm telling you I saw her.

Wesley

Who?

Angel

Darla.

Wesley

Where?

Angel

Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog.

Angel

I smelled her, I know her scent.

Wesley

You can't just...

Angel

You had sex last night with a bleached blonde.

Wesley

Good Lord!

Wesley

This is all just precautionary. When push comes to shove, Angel's our - we trust him.

Gunn

[picks up gun] I see.

Cordelia

It's not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky.

Gunn

He turns evil?!

Gunn

There's nothing I respect more than loyalty.

Wesley

That's good to hear.

Gunn

But if the bad Angel walks through that door I will kill him in two seconds flat.

Wesley

Release her, or die.

Angel

Don't I say that?

Angel

Were you in Virginia?

Wesley

That's beside the point.

Cordelia

[spins in Angel's chair] Hey, look at me, I'm Angel!

Wesley

He doesn't generally spin that much.

Cordelia

Right. This is Angel.

Oh, no, I can't do anything fun tonight. I have to count my past sins, then alphabetize them. Oh, by the way, I'm thinking of snapping on Friday.

Cordelia

What are you doing?

Wesley

Oh, knocking things over, driving away business ... you know, the usual.

Cordelia

Well, I found him and we have to stop him before it's too late, we have to change our ... Do you have any clothes a man would wear?

Cordelia

[pushes "open" button] They have vampire detectors!

Gunn

We know, it's cool. He's got a plan.

Wesley

A plan?

Angel

Yeah. [pushes a floor button] I get to the offices before they stop me.

Gunn

See? [whips his head around to stare at Angel] What? That's the plan? Walkin' real quick was "the plan"?

Cordelia

[pushes open] Angel, this is crazy. Listen to yourself. You're all insane and angry and [Angel pushes up] insane! You need help!

Angel

I'm not insane and I'm not angry.

Wesley

Euugh!

Gunn

Man, that's nasty.

Angel

Maybe I'm a little angry.

Cordelia

"Maybe"?!

Gunn

Okay, what I want to know is, how'd I live in L.A. all my life and not notice weird-ass stuff was going on?

Cordelia

Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think!

Wesley

The Host, the fellow talking to Angel over there? He helps demons, reads their souls, senses their futures...

Cordelia

Yes, but he can only do it when they sing Karaoke.

Wesley

You gonna fight me?

Virginia

Let's go shopping.

Wesley

What? Now? It's the middle of the night! Wouldn't you rather wait till morning - when I can't reasonably leave the house. Yes, as your bodyguard I insist we go at once. [to Bryce] We're going shopping.

Wesley

We have to go. Angel you take Gunn, go to the front of the house. Cordelia, we'll to to the back.

Angel

Wesley?

Wesley

Oh, right. I'm sorry, you know this sort of thing best. How should we proceed?

Angel

Uhm ... well, Gunn and I could - take the back?

Wesley

Very good. Lets go.

Angel

Uh, Wesley, can I get my coat back?