Puppet Angel quotes from Angel

Connor

You happy now?

Angel

I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be attacked. I didn't ask to be a freak. Hell, I didn't even ask to be born.

Lilah

You're not getting anything out of me this time either.

Angel

Didn't think I would. But Gavin, he was more accommodating. (gesturing to a bound and gagged Gavin)

Lilah

(chuckles quietly) Couldn't you have at least tortured him a little bit more?

Angel

I really wanted to, but he wouldn't stop talking long enough for me to get into it.

Lilah

I have a cure for that.

Angel

Vindict on your own time. I'm kinda on the clock here.

Angel

The enemy of my enemy...

Lilah

Can kiss my ass too.

Connor

What's a zombie?

Angel

It's an undead thing.

Connor

Like you?

Angel

No, zombies are slow-moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh.

Connor

Like you.

Cordelia

I'm just glad that everyone's safe and together again.

Angel

Me too. Now take your new boyfriend and get the hell out of here.

Cordelia

(whispers) Oh God!

Angel

What are you doing here?

Standing in the remains of my fallen brethren trying not to have an anxiety attack. Who are you two?

Angel

I'm Angel. That's Gwen. You got a name?

I am Manjet. Sacred guardian of the Shen, keeper of the Orb of Ma'at, and devotee of light. Off hours I like Manny.

Look, it's probably just a few hours til this guy catches up with me. I want to spend my last moments with my oldest, dearest friends down at the, uh, Pink Pony Lounge. (leers at Gwen) I'll buy you a lap dance if I can watch.

Angel

Forget that. We can take you someplace safe, Manny. We can protect you.

Right, Superhunk and Spandexia. This thing takes out Mesektet, and you two are going to protect me?

Angel

I don't see anyone else lined up for the job.

You think she'd give me a lap dance?

We could rule this world. Why do you oppose me?

Angel

Rain of fire. Blocking out the sun. And you just kinda piss me off.

Angel

Easy. . . Easy. . .

Cordelia

What are those? Holiday decorations left over from some. . . S&M bondage party?

Angel

(re: Angel sets off a bell and wooden spikes close together) Wood. Why did it have to be wood.

Wesley

We have to pass through the corridor without ringing any of the bells.

Cordelia

(sigh) (looks down at her chest) I knew you two would get me in trouble some day.

Angel

We're gonna need a cage.

Lorne

Cage?

Angel

A strong one. About ten-by-twelve, steel reinforced. Two inch bars, maybe three. I'll make some calls.

Gunn

What, he thinks something like that's going to hold the Beast?

Wesley

It's not for the Beast. It's for him.

I already know all this crap. So why do I have to go through it again?

Angel

Maybe because it's not about you, jackass.

Wesley

No. They were bound to skulk off to neutral corners.

Gunn

Two vampires hook up and for the only time in vamp history, have a kid-our boy, Connor. Then Connor grows up, knocks it out with Cordelia, a part-demon former higher being, and quick as you can say "Easy-Bake Oven" there's a gigantic bun in hers. I don't think we were too harsh.

Lorne

Yeah, well, that was before my spell went all flop-a-palooza.

Having two part-demon parents might could explain the whoosh factor.

Gunn

Not gonna be long before whoosh turns into pop.

Lorne

Speaking of pop, don't you think our re-ensouled leader should be a part of this little confab?

Angel

(stepping out of his office) Easy-bake. Flop-a-palooza. Whoosh, pop. [to Wesley] I don't skulk.

Angel

All this time it was you, wasn't it?

Cordelia

Took you long enough to figure it out. But nice turn with the Lorne bait. You know, there was a time I would've seen that one coming eons before it ever crossed your tiny little mind.

Angel

Because you're so clever.

Cordelia

On the scale of you to me? Pretty damn.

Gunn

No way. We make our own choices.

Skip

Yeah, sure. Cheese sandwich here, uh, when to floss. But the big stuff, like two vampires squeezing out a kid?

Angel

Connor.

Wesley

An impossible birth to make one possible.

Skip

That's what the kid was designed for.

Lorne

To sleep with mother love?

Angel

To create a vessel.

Skip

Look out. The monkey's thinking again.

Angel

Being inside a human makes it vulnerable, doesn't it? That's why it had to stay hidden. Why it needed to create something stronger to pour itself into.

Gunn

Wait. So the big nasty inside of Cordy is going to give birth... to itself?

Angel

No, you're not coming, any of you. Whatever's taken over Cordy, it's still her inside. She's still our friend. She's still the woman I... I won't let you carry that. I can't.

Skip

Anybody got a hanky?