American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesKlaus: That felt good. And I almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation, so I know from good.
(As Roger is getting beaten by a convenience store clerk)
(As Roger is getting beaten by a convenience store clerk)
Repo Man: Here to repo the cars.
Steve: You can't do that. We're about to become men.
Repo Man: Well you may have planned on becoming men through sexual conquest, but perhaps an equally valid preparation for adulthood would be a night filled with disappointment and compromise.
Steve: You can't do that. We're about to become men.
Repo Man: Well you may have planned on becoming men through sexual conquest, but perhaps an equally valid preparation for adulthood would be a night filled with disappointment and compromise.
Roger: [after escaping from a burning barn] Ah, you know what I meant to ask you? How did we get out of there?
Stan: I think we did some sweet maneuvers from that movie Backdraft.
Roger: I never saw Backdraft.
Stan: Me either.
Stan: I think we did some sweet maneuvers from that movie Backdraft.
Roger: I never saw Backdraft.
Stan: Me either.
Roger: [to Hayley] Oh, excuse me. Are you an ethicist? Are you? Is there an ethicist in the house?
Black-haired woman: I'm a ethicist.
Roger: Well, screw you! I'm Kevin Bacon!
Black-haired woman: I'm a ethicist.
Roger: Well, screw you! I'm Kevin Bacon!
Roger: All I have to do is get married by next week and I can get my blender in time for Grey's Anatomy!
Roger: Aw, Steve, your first gropefest. You won't truly appreciate the awkwardness of this moment until you're fondly reminiscing as a 35-year-old homosexual.
Roger: Hey Algernon, what's wrong with you? Can't you get an idea without saying it out loud?
Roger: Horse Renoir, bounty hunter! Born in the bayou. Some say the hell-spawn of a prostitute and a whore. Other say...
Stan: Shut up!
Roger: Rude.
Stan: Shut up!
Roger: Rude.
Roger: I want a popcorn maker for my attic.
Stan: Don't be stupid, Roger. The attic is above sea level, and popcorn doesn't pop above sea level. I know, I've spent time in Denver.
[Steve is confronting Roger after the stock that Roger invests in plummets to zero.]
Steve: What the hell was that?! You said "SJP" was a sure thing!
Roger: I don't understand, SJP is in the new Spielberg movie; it's gonna be huge!
Steve: What are you talking about?! SJP is a Canadian chiropractic supplies company!
Roger: You mean it's... not Sarah Jessica Parker?
Steve: What?! No!
Roger: Isn't this the Hollywood Stock Exchange? You know, where you buy and sell celebrity stocks based on the ups and down of their careers?
Steve: No!
Roger: Oh... Then what is all this?
Steve: This is the New York Stock Exchange!
Roger: Like in the movie Wall Street? I thought that was Hollywood make-believe, like children of every color being at the same McDonald's.
Steve: But back home, you said you were about to make a fortune in silver!
Roger: Ron Silver!
[Steve and Roger are standing in the rain in New York]
Roger: We're gonna make through this. We still have twenty bucks. In this town, with our brains, we'll turn it into a millions in no time. [turns to the kiosk behind him] I'll have the new issue of Cherry, and keep the change, my good man.
Steve: Roger!
Roger: Steve, it's a special big butts collector's issue; someday it'll be worth a fortune. Now we play the waiting game.
Stan: Honey, it's been three weeks; maybe we should... start..planning Steve's funeral. [Francine get a reaction and throws plate onto floor in response]
Francine: I WANTED TO GO GET HIM! I WANTED TO BRING HIM INSIDE! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME! OUR BABY'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!!!
Stan: [close to tears] Don't you think I know that?!
Stan: Don't be stupid, Roger. The attic is above sea level, and popcorn doesn't pop above sea level. I know, I've spent time in Denver.
[Steve is confronting Roger after the stock that Roger invests in plummets to zero.]
Steve: What the hell was that?! You said "SJP" was a sure thing!
Roger: I don't understand, SJP is in the new Spielberg movie; it's gonna be huge!
Steve: What are you talking about?! SJP is a Canadian chiropractic supplies company!
Roger: You mean it's... not Sarah Jessica Parker?
Steve: What?! No!
Roger: Isn't this the Hollywood Stock Exchange? You know, where you buy and sell celebrity stocks based on the ups and down of their careers?
Steve: No!
Roger: Oh... Then what is all this?
Steve: This is the New York Stock Exchange!
Roger: Like in the movie Wall Street? I thought that was Hollywood make-believe, like children of every color being at the same McDonald's.
Steve: But back home, you said you were about to make a fortune in silver!
Roger: Ron Silver!
[Steve and Roger are standing in the rain in New York]
Roger: We're gonna make through this. We still have twenty bucks. In this town, with our brains, we'll turn it into a millions in no time. [turns to the kiosk behind him] I'll have the new issue of Cherry, and keep the change, my good man.
Steve: Roger!
Roger: Steve, it's a special big butts collector's issue; someday it'll be worth a fortune. Now we play the waiting game.
Stan: Honey, it's been three weeks; maybe we should... start..planning Steve's funeral. [Francine get a reaction and throws plate onto floor in response]
Francine: I WANTED TO GO GET HIM! I WANTED TO BRING HIM INSIDE! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME! OUR BABY'S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU!!!
Stan: [close to tears] Don't you think I know that?!
Roger: In the words of every sitcom character in the early 90's, and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the 90's, "Don't go there."
Roger: Oh my god, we're a broken home and I'm too drunk and they're to dumb to channel it into art.