American Dad! quotes
527 total quotesRoger: When you're locked in a cadillac sinking to the bottom of the ocean, you either learn about cars or you die.
Roger: You can't do this to me! You can't leave me here. Everyone's looking. Everyone's looking!
Brown-haired Man: Can you keep it down? No one's looking at you. We're trying to watch the skating here.
Roger: EVERYONE'S LOOKING!
Brown-haired Man: Can you keep it down? No one's looking at you. We're trying to watch the skating here.
Roger: EVERYONE'S LOOKING!
Roger: You just earned yourself a week of detention!
Hayley: There's no detention in college.
Roger: Oh. Right. Well, then I'm taking away fifty points from Gryffindor!!
Hayley: There's no detention in college.
Roger: Oh. Right. Well, then I'm taking away fifty points from Gryffindor!!
Stan (to the convenience store clerk): Do you live here? 'Cuz I can live here. This place is great!
Stan: [affected by mad cow disease] You boys see these owls? Get out of here, owls! Stop pecking at my face! I will not buy your encyclopedias! I can't read your language, I can only speak it. [hoots]
Stan: [alone with his family in the wild] We're the last ones left on Earth.
[They all hug him. He spots a man paragliding in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots him down]
Francine: What was that?
Stan: Mosquito.
[They all hug him. He spots a man paragliding in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots him down]
Francine: What was that?
Stan: Mosquito.
Stan: [realising that children from pie eating content are deaf] Hey, I'm gonna just go in the kitchen and steal your food. Marlee Matlin sucks! [pauses] Ah, you know, that's not fair. I really enjoyed her work on The West Wing.
Stan: [reveals shotgun behind pillow] Ah, pillow gun. Where danger and comfort meet. 200 thread count, '[pumps shotgun]' 200 dead count.
Stan: [to Francine, after he hears the neighbors badmouth him] They all hate me! It's like our wedding all over again... except this time I'm you!
[Stan, using CIA powers, has seized the houses of all his neighbors]
Stan: In other words, there goes the neighborhood. [laughs] Ordinarily that would have racist implications, but I've actually done something far worse.
[Stan, using CIA powers, has seized the houses of all his neighbors]
Stan: In other words, there goes the neighborhood. [laughs] Ordinarily that would have racist implications, but I've actually done something far worse.
Stan: Ah, Mr. Pibb. The cornerstone of our love. Delicious, refreshing, and totally lacking in pretension!
Stan: Ah, the lighting of the town Christmas tree- can you think of anything more American?
Steve: An American flag?
Stan: Or. Or an American flag with Christmas trees for stars! Ooh, that would make a good cake. [pulls out personal tape recorder] Note to self: I like cake.
Steve: An American flag?
Stan: Or. Or an American flag with Christmas trees for stars! Ooh, that would make a good cake. [pulls out personal tape recorder] Note to self: I like cake.
Stan: Come on, Steve, why don't you pick an interesting black person, like Dr. Daniel Williams, who performed the first successful open heart surgery, or Tim Meadows, the luckiest man in show business.
Stan: Forget about your report on Carver. Just do it on Will Smith. Oh wait, you need a black guy.
Stan: Good news, I found a camp that still has an opening.
Steve: Dad, I don't want to go to camp. It's hot and there's always something crawling in your sleeping bag, like a spider or a counselor. Just let me tend to my posies. (leaves)
Francine: Stan, he doesn't want to go to camp.
Stan: But I spent my summers at camp, and I had the time of my life. I want him to have that same experience. And besides, gardening's gay.
Francine: I'll have you know, James Coburn had a garden.
Stan: I'm sick of your lies about Coburn!
Steve: Dad, I don't want to go to camp. It's hot and there's always something crawling in your sleeping bag, like a spider or a counselor. Just let me tend to my posies. (leaves)
Francine: Stan, he doesn't want to go to camp.
Stan: But I spent my summers at camp, and I had the time of my life. I want him to have that same experience. And besides, gardening's gay.
Francine: I'll have you know, James Coburn had a garden.
Stan: I'm sick of your lies about Coburn!