American Dad! · Season 3, Episode 1
“The Vacation Goo” · Season 3, Episode 1
In this episode: Francine Smith (6), Stan Smith (4), Steve Smith (3), Hayley Smith (3), Klaus (1)
I'm starting a new family tradition of Sunday night dinners.
Wunderbar!... Wait. Only four place settings? No, that's cool. That's cool. I'm-I'm supposed to hang with my chick anyway. She's been buggin' me to spend more time with her and she... [sad voice] doesn't exist.
Nothing bonds a family like a dark, horrible secret.
[Stan parks next to the window of his house as in drive-thru]
Stan : Hi, I'll take a roast beef to go and a medium Mr. Pibb, no ice. Fantastic.
Stan, get inside right now and have dinner with your family!
Well, if that's your attitude, I don't know why you people even have a drive-thru.
[The family is in a lifeboat starving]
We haven't eaten in four days. Damn it Mom! Why did you jump off the boat after dinner?
This isn't my fault. I just wanted us to spend some time together.
[gasp] Steve's hiding food!
No! It's just a picture I took with some grapes.
[Everybody jumps him trying to take the picture from him]
Give it to me!
Share it! You have to share it!
[Steve drops the picture in the ocean]
No! What are we gonna do for pictures of food now?!
[sees an island] Look!
[The family is hiding in a cave]
I'm exhausted.
I'm starving!
Stan, we are going on a real vacation and this family is going to bond!
We could go skiing!
Or, here's an alternate pitch. Stay here, watch the Duke game... [Francine tries to say something] ...just hear me out... I order boneless wings from KFC...
But-
Hang on to that thought, Hayley... I take a long bath and then... wait for it... None of you are here.
Or... [Stan opens his mouth] ...just hear me out... we stay home, and for the rest of our lives together, every time you doze off I slam a book on your testicles.
Did someone say, "skiing"?
[Stan is playing 20 questions with his family]
I'm thinking of a person.
Ronald Reagan?
Damn!
Francine Smith: All I want is to have Dinner once a while and spend some real qualitly time together, but you know what? I'm done, done! Because you are a complete ass family. If somebody ask me in the house, I say 'The Asses' and I might be right!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's American Dad! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
