Why can't Jeff live with his family?!
He hasn't spoken to his dad in years, and his mom ran away before he was born.
How... how could she do that?
“Joint Custody” · Season 2, Episode 19
In this episode: Stan Smith (8), Roger (5), Hayley Smith (1), Jeff Fischer (1)
Look, honey, I'll make you a deal, you don't marry Jeff, and I won't bake you a roofie cake and tie your fallopians in a square knot.
[a train appears, separating Jeff from Stan and Roger]
Damn it, Roger! He's getting away! [the train passes, revealing that Jeff is still there] Why didn't you run for it?
You wanna know why? Because I didn't think of it. [blows into a flute] Oh, Seamus McPherson, present yourself! [nothing happens] GOD! WHERE'S MY LEPRECHAUN!?! [another train appears and Jeff hops on the caboose]
Great. Well Roger, I guess it's just you and me. [cocks Roger's shotgun, then shoots the front wheel of Roger's motorcycle] And now it's just me.
Wait! How will I get out of here?
Try jogging, you gross bowling pin! [drives off and suddenly a leprechaun appears next to Roger]
LLeprechaun
You flute me?
Huh? Oh, no. That was Jeff. He hopped on a train.
LLeprechaun
Oh. Jeff, huh? Well, you tell your boy this still counts as one. He got two left. [heads into a bush, then swats a bug on his neck]. Mm, they love me. [disappears into a bush]
Horse Renoir, bounty hunter! Born in the bayou. Some say the hell-spawn of a prostitute and a whore. Other say...
Shut up!
Rude.
[after escaping from a burning barn] Ah, you know what I meant to ask you? How did we get out of there?
I think we did some sweet maneuvers from that movie Backdraft.
I never saw Backdraft.
Me either.
(Roger and Stan are stoned on marijuana smoke and wasting time at the local convenience store)
Why do my wrists hurt?!
Because you're lying on them.
How can you hear what I'm thinking?
Stan (to the convenience store clerk): Do you live here? 'Cuz I can live here. This place is great!
CSConvenience Store Clerk
That'll be $147.
What? Where are we gonna get that kind of money?
We could turn in Jeff!
I thought Jeff was innocent.
[gasp] We gotta save Jeff!
None of us get to choose our fathers, but we do get to choose our father figures. I chose my mother. That set me back a bit.
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