Ally McBeal quotes

Judge Seymour Walsh

Mr. Cage. Ms. Bump. I'll ask you to proceed without the nonsense.

John Cage

[Reading notes] Okay, uh... Mmm, no, I'm sorry. All I had left was nonsense. [Sits back down]

How many more men do you plan to marry, Mrs. - is it Carrens or Lewiston?

It's Naples. It... sounds like you disapprove.

Well, bigamy is not my choice for a lifestyle.

So you agree it's a choice?

No, I don't.

So it's not a choice?

I'm asking the questions here.

So you agree it's a question?

No. It's not even a question.

Then what do you have to ask me?

Your Honor...

Judge Seymour Walsh

Ms. Naples?

Liza Bump

[Squeezing John Cage's face] Isn't HE like a cute little stuffy? And such a good little lawyer. Yes, you are.

John Cage

All right.

Liza Bump

Yes, you are!

Judge Seymour Walsh

Mr. Cage, one more outburst, I will tape your mouth SHUT. Do not think I'm kidding. Now sit.

It's always tough on the husbands, isn't it?

Ally McBeal

Okay, the- the- buttock, the- the CONTRACT called for no minimum.

Ally McBeal

How many couples do you know go to the Caribbean to have polite sex?

It's not like we were having so much fun talking. You barely said a poop. Victor quickly intervenes, Peep.

Claire Otoms

[Referring to Liza Bump] Little sweaty Betty.

I want you to know, because I don't hand out compliments freely... you are the scummiest, most disgusting attorneys I have ever encountered.

Thank you.

They set the bar so low. And you just slithered under it.

We try.

Claire Otoms

Well, if it can't be me, I hope it's you.

Love without sex is an empty experience. Sr. Fishism.

Richard Fish

From now on, first rule of management, hire ugly assistants.

Liza Bump

[To John Cage] Earth to Square Pants!

Liza Bump

I just want you to see me as a lawyer... and a sexual object. Could you do that please?