All That · Season 1
Ed, E-E-Ed, Ed? Listen closely now. It's very important that you sell as many Good Weenies as possible.
Oh; have I ever let you down?
Yes; many times. Oh, here come some customers. Now, remember; sell, sell, sell! Good luck.
"Superdude, why don't you rub up against me?"
Never take a taco, sit on it, and then run around screaming, "HEY; LOOK AT THE TACO STAIN ON MY BUTT!".
Uh, is this all the groceries from the car?
You bet, honey.
Hey, I get to look for the prize inside!
Hey, I want to open the cereal!
Hey, a glow-in-the-dark decoder ring!
That's not fair...
Aw; now, don't worry, pun'kin. You know, in this family, we share all the prizes.
You can open the mayonnaise. I'm going to look in the yogurt.
All right.
Sunglasses! (She puts them on)
Cool...
Look, I found a Jogman radio in the yogurt!
Oh, good for you, honey! Let's see what's in the lettuce...
A $5 bill! Oh, wait; there's more...a quarter!
I'm gonna look in the hamburger meat. (He finds a gold watch in it)
Whatcha gettin', son?
A gold watch!
Oh, better than last time!
Wonderful.
Another dollar in the lettuce...oh, and look here! A cashier's check for...$24.95!
That's wonderful, dear.
Hey! That tub o'cottage cheese looks mighty lonely!
I got it; I got it!
All right, honey.
Hey, Dad, look! Look what I found in the ice cream! An electric razor! Here, Pop.
You nut!
Mmmmm! Smooth!
A diamond necklace! (She puts it on)
You needed another one?
Oh, another $5 in the lettuce. What a head!
Look what I found in the flour! A toupee! (She puts it on the father's head)
I'm going to look in the turkey! Look, everybody; a chicken! We're truly blessed.
That we are.
Congratulations on the necklace, honey!
I just got lucky.
That's a great toupee, Dad.
Thanks. It's hair-rific!
How much money did you find in that lettuce?
Well, let's see...$36.20.
Oh, wait a minute; hold on! Ho-ho; $36.30!
We're so lucky!
(At Good Burger, Mr. Bailey [Tim Goodwin; later played by Dan Schneider] has introduced Ed (Mitchell) to the new employee, Beth [Bates], who becomes Ed's love interest. She and Ed are lost in thought.)
(thinking) I'm lost in thought.
(thinking) He seems lost in thought.
She's so pretty, just like a...like, uh...like someone who's pretty.
I hope he thinks I'm pretty.
I do.
He'd be the coolest boyfriend.
Some vegetables...are green.
I wonder if he'll call me, and ask me out on a date.
I want to call her, and ask her out on a date, but I don't know how...
[short pause]
...to use a phone.
Ed, it's so easy, spell.
My foot's cold.
[looks down]
Hey! I'm missin' a shoe!
(Earlier, a customer [Johnson] had found, and complained about, a shoe in the strawberry milkshake that she had ordered; presumably, this was Ed's right shoe. He had actually noticed it in the milkshake machine, but hadn't bothered to remove it. This had made her "confused...and angry!".)
"Welcome to Cereal Critics, with Alan and Allen. I'm Alan; A-L-A-N."
"And I'm Allen; A-double L-E-N."
"This morning, we're talking about...what else?"
"CEREAL!"
"The first cereal on our list is...Lucky Germs. I think we have a clue. Let's take a look."
"I found Lucky Germs good-tasting and fun; even whimsical, if you will."
"I won't. I started out skeptical because of their scary jingle...♪Frosted Lucky Germs, they're tragically contagious♪...what's with that?"
"Heh-lo, the jingle's a joke. If I lent you five bucks, would you buy yourself a sense of humor?"
"No, but I'd buy some antacid. I'm still gassy."
"Thank you, Mr. Cranky Colon. Well, anyway, I say, 'spoons up'."
"The correct response is, 'spoons down'. Onto a new cereal on the show; Spoon-Size Shredded Meat. Watch the monitor”.
“Now, tell me; what kind of twisted person puts mangled hamburger meat in breakfast cereal? Hello-o-o-o?!”
“Earth to Alan; you eat sausage and bacon for breakfast every morning.”
“Not in a bowl, juicy fruit. When it comes to cereal, I want honey, cinnamon, fluffy surprises, even bran, but meat? Save it for the dog, kids!”
“Those are pretty strong words for a guy who gave a ‘spoons up’ to…Froot Poots!”
“I changed my review as soon as I came out the bathroom. Why must you always bring up the Froot Poots?”
“It’s kind of hard to forget, Alan. Well, this concludes this week’s…Cereal Critics. Join us next week, when we’ll be discussing three new cereals; Crusty Flakes…”
“Dreary-Os…”
“And Grape Knots. Until then, I’m Allen; A-double L-E-N.”
“And I’m Alan; A-L-A-N.”
“Freak!”
“Alfalfa-Bit eater!”
“Froot Pooter!”
“Stop with that already!”
(Treach, Kay Gee, and Vinnie, the members of the rap group Naughty By Nature, are in the library, practicing for their performance as the episode's musical guest)
Silence! This is a liberry! Just who do you fellas think you are?!
We're Naughty By Nature.
Oh, well; that's obvious!
No, no, no; we're the rap group Naughty By Nature. This is Kay Gee, this is Vinnie, and I'm Treach, and we just came in--
(She blows her air horn)
Quiet! This is a liberry! Now, look, Treach, Kay Gee, Vinnie? I realize that you are all "naughty", and that it is your "nature" to be so! But if you wanna sing, you're not gonna do it in my liberry! (She points to the stage)
You can sing over there! (Naughty By Nature heads over to the stage)
(blows her whistle) Let's hear a round o' sound for...Naughty By Nature! (She blows her air horn again; Naughty By Nature performs their hit "Clap Yo Hands".)
If you're lucky enough to have a hammer...please...don't hammer in the mornin. It's not safe to ride your bike with no hands. It's impossible to ride your bike with no rear end. One potato, two potato, three potato, four. I rode a bike that had no seat, and now my butt is sore. When it rains, it pours. When it snows...it's cold. If you have a friend who says, "I'm a little gumdrop, and I like to push my face into things that are sharp and pointy"...then you've got one weird friend. If you're on TV, giving out vital information, and your phone rings...don't answer it. It's not...okay to eat breakfast cereal out of your underpants. If you're on a first date with someone, never stick your finger in their spaghetti, twirl it, and holler, "Lookit, date; I'm makin' s'ghetti circles!". Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder...how in the world that song ever became so popular. There's no real reason to play basketball naked. If your first name is Wally, and your middle name is Wally, and your last name is Woo, then your name is...WALLY WALLY WOO!" If your first name is Brucifer, and your middle name is Yaptiddy, and your last name is Magoogoo, then CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR FULL NAME IS BRUCIFER YAPTIDDY MAGOOGOO! When you're checking out at the grocery store, never say 'Oh, I don't need any bags. I just stick the food in my pants!.
[guest star Larissa Oleynik, from The Secret World of Alex Mack] "I'm Alex Sax."
[Reyes; traditionally played by Meredith Bishop] "I'm her smart sister."
[Mitchell; traditionally played by Darris Love] "And I'm in no way related."
[Repairman has just dropped through the ceiling, making a mess.]
"What was that?"
"That was me! I'm...Repairmanman-man-man-man-man!"
"What's with the echo?"
"Echo my butt!"
"What's with the echo?"
"Echo schmecho!"
"What's with the echo?"
"Go away!" [noticing that a family's lamp is flickering] "Looks like lamp trouble; I can fix that for ya jiffy-quick!"
"Please don't repair it."
"But I must; I'm...Repairman-man-man-man-man-man!"
"He's being very gentle."
[Repairman "repairs" the lamp.]
"Daddy! What is he doing?!"
"That lamp won't be giving you any more trouble; I repaired it!"
"No. No, you didn't. You killed it."
"You squashed our helpless lamp!"
"It was nothing!"
"It was horrible! You're a bad repairman!"
[The rest of the family stares at her.]
"...-man-man-man-man-man!"
Do not clap your hands when I sneeze in your face. But please clap your hands for our musical guest...MONTECO!
I am Pastar.
I am Fudgesarbs. We are from the Kopelow Galaxy.
We are aliens from another planet.
We have traveled millions of light-years to investigate your planet Earth.
Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger; can I take your order?
We said..."WE ARE ALIENS...FROM ANOTHER PLANET".
And I said..."WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER...HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER...CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?".
"So, Lori Beth, have you been a good girl this year?"
"Hmmm, no."
"Bye-bye!"
"Seeya, Santa."
Peter knows the importance of recycling our trash. Flem eats his garbage. Peter entertains his guests by playing cards or other fun games. Flem ties his guests up in a chair, and spins them until they cry. Peter dresses himself like a nice young man. Flem dresses himself like a diseased freak of nature.
[Three new students--Maggot, Rash, and Spew, the members of the band Bacteria--have joined Miss Fingerly's class.]
[British accent] My name is Maggot!
I'm Rash!
They call me SPEW!
All right. Spew, Rash...Maggot. Now, where are you children from?
Miss Fingerly, don't you know who they are?
Yeah!
They're Bacteria!
Now, let's not judge others by their appearance.
No; they're Bacteria, the hottest band around!
Their CD, Raw Sewage, just went Triple Platinum!
Oh, I see. Well, perhaps you'd like to tell the class how your band got the name "Bacteria"!
Well, you see, our drummer, Spew, forgot to take a bath for 3½ years, and when we looked under his armpit, we found...
All right! Let's all take our seats.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All That pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
