(The very first Miss Fingerly sketch)
FDMiss Fingerly [Denberg]
Now, take out your textbooks, and turn to chapter…
(She notices that one of the students is chewing his gum)
Young man, are you chewing gum? Hmmmm? Well, if you want to chew gum, you’re going to have to bring some for the rest of the class, understand?
SSStudent [Server]
Um…yes, Miss Fingerly.
Good. Now, take out your textbooks, and turn to chap-…ter…
(Another student is listening to her radio, with her headphones on; she is presumably listening to "Doggie Rap", from the episode "Doug's Pet Capades [©1993] of the Nicktoon Doug [©1991-1994], created by Jim Jinkins)
Young lady, you know the rules. Did you bring large radios for the rest of the class, hmmmm?
S2Student #2 (Bates)
Yes I did, Miss Fingerly!
(She gives her other radios to the other students; Miss Fingerly notices another student is eating chocolate pudding)
What are you eating there, young man?
S3Student #3 (Mitchell)
Um, just pudding, Miss Fingerly.
Oh, I see. Well, I also see you don’t have some for the rest of the class, do you?
S3Student #3
Just one moment, please.
(He leaves, and returns with a green wheelbarrow filled with chocolate pudding and whipped cream, with a cherry that's at least the size of his head)
S3Student #3
Pudding, everybody?
(The other students cheer, and help themselves to the pudding)
All right; now, that is not funny!
(The younger brother of Student #3 enters)
Who are you, hmmmm?! You’re not in this class, young man!
S3Student #3
Oh, I’m sorry, Miss Fingerly. This is my little brother. I brought him here so he could watch today.
FMiss Fingerly (to Student #3)
This is unacceptable; you know the rules!
S3Student #3
You know I do, Miss Fingerly. C’mon, gang!
(His brother’s seven classmates enter; and both classes start singing ‘Whoomp!’ [©1993] by Tag Team; Miss Fingerly screams and buries her face in the pudding in the wheelbarrow)
(A man [Dan Schneider] gets out of bed late at night and goes into the kitchen for a snack; his refrigerator is oozing purple slime [this is the only colored aspect of this particular sketch; otherwise, the sketch is black-and-white], and when he opens the door, he screams in horror; cut to a scientist and a police officer examining the slime on the floor)
STScientist [Thompson]
Don’t touch it!
PRPolice officer [Reyes]
Do you know what it is?
SScientist
I’m almost certain, but we have to talk to the family.
(Cut to them questioning the man's wife, son, and daughter)
OOfficer
What did you eat for dinner last night, ma’am?
MDMother [Denberg]
Leftover meatloaf.
SSSon [Server]
Leftover meatloaf and cheese.
DJDaughter [Johnson]
Leftover meatloaf and eggs.
SScientist
What kind of meat was it?
I’m not sure. It was mostly loaf.
OOfficer
When did you first cook it?
SScientist
I knew it. It confirms my test.
SScientist
It’s G. L. O. R. P.!
SScientist
That’s right…Gooey Left Over Refrigerator Pus. Better known as…G. L. O. R. P..
But what’s happened to my husband?!
SScientist
It’s very simple. You see, the diatical chloride crystals in the thermostatic fluid of today’s refrigerators metamorphosizes the free radicals in any food left over for 7 consecutive days.
OOfficer
In other words, if you don’t eat it, it eats you.
DDaughter (sadly)
The G. L. O. R. P. ate my Daddy?!
SScientist
No, not all of him; probably just his brain.
SNScientist [noticing that the purple slime has formed a trail]
I found the trail; c’mon.
(The scientist has noticed a trail of purple slime leading from the refrigerator to the closet in the kitchen; everybody follows it, and suddenly they hear what appears to be an ambulance siren)
SScientist
That’s no ambulance.
(He opens the door; inside, the father [Schneider] is making the siren noise)
SScientist
That’s the work of G. L. O. R. P..
The events you’ve just witnessed are real, and can happen to you. Only the names have been changed to protect the G. L. O. R. P.. So, remember, the next time you leave leftovers in your refrigerator, be careful, beware, and be…
(The narrator also begins to imitate an ambulance siren)
