(A man [Dan Schneider] gets out of bed late at night and goes into the kitchen for a snack; his refrigerator is oozing purple slime [this is the only colored aspect of this particular sketch; otherwise, the sketch is black-and-white], and when he opens the door, he screams in horror; cut to a scientist and a police officer examining the slime on the floor)
Don’t touch it!
Do you know what it is?
I’m almost certain, but we have to talk to the family.
(Cut to them questioning the man's wife, son, and daughter)
What did you eat for dinner last night, ma’am?
Leftover meatloaf.
For lunch?
Leftover meatloaf and cheese.
For breakfast?
Leftover meatloaf and eggs.
What kind of meat was it?
I’m not sure. It was mostly loaf.
When did you first cook it?
Wednesday.
Tuesday.
Three weeks ago, Monday.
I knew it. It confirms my test.
What is it?
It’s G. L. O. R. P.!
What?!
That’s right…Gooey Left Over Refrigerator Pus. Better known as…G. L. O. R. P..
But what’s happened to my husband?!
It’s very simple. You see, the diatical chloride crystals in the thermostatic fluid of today’s refrigerators metamorphosizes the free radicals in any food left over for 7 consecutive days.
In other words, if you don’t eat it, it eats you.
The G. L. O. R. P. ate my Daddy?!
No, not all of him; probably just his brain.
I found the trail; c’mon.
(The scientist has noticed a trail of purple slime leading from the refrigerator to the closet in the kitchen; everybody follows it, and suddenly they hear what appears to be an ambulance siren)
The ambulance is here!
That’s no ambulance.
(He opens the door; inside, the father [Schneider] is making the siren noise)
That’s the work of G. L. O. R. P..
The events you’ve just witnessed are real, and can happen to you. Only the names have been changed to protect the G. L. O. R. P.. So, remember, the next time you leave leftovers in your refrigerator, be careful, beware, and be…
(The narrator also begins to imitate an ambulance siren)
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