MMike
Congratulations Arch, you just contributed your own power cut.
S4We're Having a Heat Wave
MAMike and Archie reading petition together
Whereas we have our fair share of coloreds in this neighborhood...
Gloria: What?
MMike
Watergate, Watergate, Watergate, Watergate
Archie: Would you shut up with that word, goddamn it.
S4Edith Finds an Old Man
You see, it all started this way—
Archie: All right, all right, Edith. I'll find out for myself. I'd like to get the story before the first of the month.
QMr. Quigley
They've got all kinds of medicines to keep us living longer and longer. Now they've got us living longer, they don't know what to do with us.
MMike
Why can't Mr. Quigley stay with us for a few days?
Archie: Because we've already got one freeloader living with me, and bread's up ten cents a loaf!
QMr. Quigley
No, and we aren't going to get married, either.
Jo: If we did, there'd be no point in living together.
S4Archie the Gambler
MMike
We're all family here.
Archie: Don't remind me!
Let me tell you something about beer: You can never buy beer, you can only rent it.
MMike
By now, (Archie) probably realizes it's his fault, he's going to walk in here, he's not going to say anything about it, and I don't believe a word I just said.
I demand an apology.
Edith: It's you that's gotta apologize to me.
Archie: I gotta? That's like asking Pearl Harbor to apologize to the Japs.
S4Henry's Farewell
All this celebrating just because one colored guy wants to leave the neighborhood.
Mike: I thought you'd be the one leading the cheers.
Henry was saying the other day that there was no one he wanted to say "goodbye" to more than Archie.
Hey Jefferson, I don't blame your kid brother for wanting to leave home. If I was your brother, I'd want to leave home too.
George: If you were my brother I'd cut my throat.
Archie: If I were your brother I'd give you the knife.
S4Archie and the Computer
Ma, are you in some kind of trouble?
Edith: No, and I can't tell you what it is!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All in the Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.