All in the Family · Season 2, Episode 2
“Gloria Poses in the Nude” · Season 2, Episode 2
In this episode: Archie Bunker (2), Mike (2), Lionel Jefferson (1)
The most casual acquaintances kiss today.
Edith: They do it all the time on TV. Like Merv Griffin and Johnny Carson.
Archie: Merv Griffin and Johnny Carson don't kiss each other!
Edith: That's right. They're on different channels... It's Jerry Lewis that kisses Johnny Carson.
Archie: Will you stifle yourself?
Edith: I don't know who Merv Griffin kisses.
... I've been thinking about jogging for months.
Archie: Well, you don't have to drag (Mike) along, you can do that by yourself.
Lionel: Well, let me ask you a question, Mr. Bunker. Now, if you were walking down the street at seven o'clock in the morning, and you saw this black guy, all by himself, running through this neighborhood, what would you think?
Archie: I see what you mean there, Lionel.
Lionel: Yeah, I figured you would.
C'mon, give me your opinion, straight from the dingbat.
Edith: Well, I think you should mind your own business.
Archie: Who asked you?
... Dragging me off to a moving picture like that, it was absolutely disgusting!
Edith: Well, I'm sorry, Archie. How was I to know? I thought it was a religious picture: "Cardinal Knowledge."
We are talking about my wife and my best friend. And yes, I do trust them!... You see, there's your difference between your generations right there, Archie. You've been spending the last 30 years checking under every bed for a Communist and going around thinking you're better and holier than they are with your stinkin' Puritan ethic, and what have you got to show for it?
Archie: A wife who's home at ten o'clock.
Mike: Sure, and the fear and the mistrust of the whole rest of the world! Well, you can live with that fear, Archie, and you can live with that mistrust. I don't want to have any part of it, do you hear what I'm saying? I don't want any part of it!
(Mike is now on the telephone)
Mike: Szabo, what the hell are you doing with my wife?!
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