TV show quotes
[seeing Charlie and Itchy getting along again] Look, Sasha. Our plan worked.
[in unison] If they only knew. [giggling]
Heh. Hey, Itch. Check out the girls. They never had a clue.
[in unison, about the body swap] If they only knew. [laughing]
I got bologna in my shoes.
Yeah, feel funny, don't it?
[crying happily, only without any tears showing] Charles Barkin, that's the most unselfish thing I've ever heard you say.
I'm always very proud of myself without getting any lightning struck.
And I am very proud of your heavenly Charlie.
[Sasha sings the episode's titular song against Charlie, rejecting him as a boyfriend]
[singing] If you had what it takes,
You would be quite the gentle-hound,
A more sentimental hound,
Less of a flake.
You'd be my hero
Instead of a zero
If you had what it takes.
[spoken] Come on, Sasha. What do you want, anyway?
[singing] I want the perfect dog
Who'd never make me wait.
[singing] The perfect dog
[singing] It's more fun to irritate.
[singing] The perfect dog
Who'd shower me flowers.
[singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] You'd be sniffling for hours.
[singing] So very 'phisticated.
[singing] That's overrated.
[singing] Someone who'd risk his hide.
[singing] Who'd take you for a ride.
[singing] Who'd make me feel so proud.
[singing] Stop walking on a cloud.
[singing] To have them by my side.
[spoken] Gee, it's gettin' awful hot in here, ain't it?
[singing] The perfect dog, I long to see.
The perfect dog, the dog for me.
The perfect dog. You'll never be
The perfect dog!
[singing] Uh, I hate to deflate you.
Or invalidate you.
This pie-in-the-sky guy
Will just nauseate you.
Life would be boring.
You'd spend all day snoring?
[spoken] Is that what you want?
[spoken] You know, Sasha, if you ask me, I think Charlie's got a point. Don't you think so? I think so.
[singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] He's only in your dreams.
[singing] The perfect dog.
[spoken] I've had it with your schemes!
[singing] I want the perfect dog!
[singing] There is no such creature!
[singing] The only perfect dog is in an animated feature!
[singing] Tender and kind.
[singing] They say love is blind.
[singing] You're out of your league!
[singing] You're out of your mind!
[singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] I only want...
[singing] You'll never find...
[singing] The perfect dog.
[spoken] Come on and kiss.
[spoken] Stay out of this! [singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] You'll never be...
[singing] Who'll wanna be...
[singing] The perfect dog!
Come on, pal. Ime-tay oo-tay am-scray.
O-nay. Listen, Charlie. I don't speak, uh, Pig Latin. I mean, I, I...I never studied abroad. [Sasha angrily throws some kitchenware at them] Right! I understand that!
[Charlie and Itchy run out of the cafe]
[angrily chasing after them] If I get my paws on you, Charlie Barkin, you'll wish you'd never been born!
Boy, Itch, is she crazy about me or what?
[arriving to the frantic Sasha behind the garbage cans] Do you know how sorry you look?
[looking like she hasn't slept in days] You don't understand. He's perfect.
Yeah, a perfect fake.
No matter...what I do, he's... [shocked] a fake?
I overheard him at the diner. This is all one big scam to make you crack. Looks like it worked.
[crushing the trash can lid with her paws in anger] A scam, huh?!
[off-screen] Do you want to borrow my baseball bat?
[to herself] So, he wants me to walk on my hands and foot? Wants to kill me with kindness, does he?! Well, we'll see who dies first. [chuckles evilly with a roar]
[upon discovering that Charlie had been playing possum so she would admit she was wrong about him] Charlie? [relieved] You're alive! [now angrily] I'll murder you!
[agreeing with Belladonna] Hey, "easy" is my kind of word, especially when it's spelled M-E-A-T.
Charlie, you can't listen to her! She's evil! [Belladonna uses her tail to whack him onto the meat pile and a slice of meat lands on Itchy's muzzle]
["Take the Easy Way Out" plays]
[singing]
Take the easy, easy way, easy way,
Take the easy, easy way out.
Take the easy, easy way, easy way,
Why not take the easy way out?
[singing]
Hey, Charlie B, I can plainly see
Being good rubs your fur the wrong way.
Why buy a chop you can simply cop?
What sick poodle says crime doesn't pay?
You'll find the kind of life you've been whining for
Right in front of your snout.
[singing]
A friend in need is a pain indeed.
It's a rule that infrequently fails.
Some just say 'nope' to the hopeless dope.
Who needs help when you're doing your nails?
Chucky boy, it's your lucky day.
I'll show you what it's about.
[spoken] Stop! [singing]
Goodness will bring you happiness.
Brighten your reputation.
Your conscience is your best friend...
[singing]
Unless you're seeking world domination!
[chuckles; spoken] Oh, just my sense of humor, Charlie.
[singing]
No meaty meal beats the way you feel.
When you rescue some poor hungry soul.
So sacrifice can be twice as nice.
As a mountain of bones in your bowl.
[spoken] Yeah, right. [singing]
Come to the barbecue that awaits you.
Soon you are certain to shout.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's All Dogs Go to Heaven: The Series pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
