[Sasha sings the episode's titular song against Charlie, rejecting him as a boyfriend]
[singing] If you had what it takes,
You would be quite the gentle-hound,
A more sentimental hound,
Less of a flake.
You'd be my hero
Instead of a zero
If you had what it takes.
[spoken] Come on, Sasha. What do you want, anyway?
[singing] I want the perfect dog
Who'd never make me wait.
[singing] The perfect dog
[singing] It's more fun to irritate.
[singing] The perfect dog
Who'd shower me flowers.
[singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] You'd be sniffling for hours.
[singing] So very 'phisticated.
[singing] That's overrated.
[singing] Someone who'd risk his hide.
[singing] Who'd take you for a ride.
[singing] Who'd make me feel so proud.
[singing] Stop walking on a cloud.
[singing] To have them by my side.
[spoken] Gee, it's gettin' awful hot in here, ain't it?
[singing] The perfect dog, I long to see.
The perfect dog, the dog for me.
The perfect dog. You'll never be
The perfect dog!
[singing] Uh, I hate to deflate you.
Or invalidate you.
This pie-in-the-sky guy
Will just nauseate you.
Life would be boring.
You'd spend all day snoring?
[spoken] Is that what you want?
[spoken] You know, Sasha, if you ask me, I think Charlie's got a point. Don't you think so? I think so.
[singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] He's only in your dreams.
[singing] The perfect dog.
[spoken] I've had it with your schemes!
[singing] I want the perfect dog!
[singing] There is no such creature!
[singing] The only perfect dog is in an animated feature!
[singing] Tender and kind.
[singing] They say love is blind.
[singing] You're out of your league!
[singing] You're out of your mind!
[singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] I only want...
[singing] You'll never find...
[singing] The perfect dog.
[spoken] Come on and kiss.
[spoken] Stay out of this! [singing] The perfect dog.
[singing] You'll never be...
[singing] Who'll wanna be...
[singing] The perfect dog!