Great meal, mom, what's for dessert?
You can't have dessert, until all the other food has been served.
All the other food has been served.
That's it? One measly ham? Why did I work up an appetite playing football?
Who were you playing football with?
You didn't trample my flower garden, did you?
Don't worry, I tip-toed through your tulips.
Let's me see your feet. Feet! [she checks ALF's foot cover with her flowers] You tip-toed through my tulips, but demolished my daisies.
Don't worry, I high-tailed it past your hyacinths. Your turn. [doorbell rings] I'll get it.
Thank you, Lynn. Now, where were we ALF?
Well, if I remember correctly, you were about to give me a foot massage.
No problem. Kate, I'm sorry about your flowers. Please accept these along with my apologies.
I washed them in Desenex.
ALF, where is our football?
[shows ALF the football] Raquel said it broke her window.
That's ridiculous! Footballs don't break windows, people do.
Me, I broke nothing, I swear.
You broke those plates when you throw the football through my kitchen window.
Oh, like that's relevant.
ALF, how did this football get into the Ochmoneks' backyard?
Alright. See, I was standing near the fence. I kicked the football, it went up but it never came back down.
Well, isn't it obvious? Gravity failure. Explanation 2, what happened-
[interrupts ALF and comes to the living room] What did ALF do this time?
Somebody broke the Ochmoneks' window and we're trying to figure out who it was.
Say, it wasn't you, was it Brian?
Brian dear, this is very important!
Hey, if the kid said he didn't do it, he didn't do it. Stop with the 3rd degree.
Fine. If he didn't do it, that makes you the prime suspect.
Brian dear, this is very important. Did you break the window?
Huh? Who could it have been?
Alright, that's it. You're not watching TV for 1 month.
Why, what did I do? You can't punish me without just cause. I demand a trial.
There's no need for a trial, forget the trial.
So you do think I'm guilty. You're punishing an innocent alien.
Yeah, dad, my teacher said everyone's innocent until proven guilty.
Okay, fine. ALF gets his trial. I'll be the judge.
Oh, no offense, Willie, but I prefer a fair trial.
What you trust mom to be the judge?
I'm not gonna be the judge, and there's not gonna be a trial.
Look, I know my rights. I want my day in court and that's that! If I'm found guilty, I'll take the month with no TV.
Okay, we'll have a trial tomorrow morning after breakfast.
Fine, whatever you say, your honor. I respect your judgment and I'm not just saying that.
I'm not kissing up. I'm innocent. Why should I have to kiss up? By the way, I love what you've done with your hair.
I'm stopped. It's stopped. You're right. You're brilliant. She's brilliant. She's really is. She's brilliant. No more kissing up. Not if she doesn't want me to kiss up. I wouldn't kiss up to the judge. Nuh-uh. [goes to the kitchen]
Willie, present your evidence.
The case is simple. We have here a broken window, and a defendant with a long, long history of reckless behavior. Starting with the day he crashed his spaceship into our garage.
To name 12 more. He set a fire in the camper, he chopped up our Christmas tree, he wrecked the toaster, he ripped that painting, he dug up the backyard, he stole a car, he buried my piano, I think that was the thing hurt me the most, he got me arrested, he used our credit cards, excessively and illegally, he short circuited the television, terrorized the cat, and he blew up the kitchen. It's not hard to imagine, that such a person would, could, and infect did kick a football through the Ochmonek's window.
[while watching 3 TVs] Yeah, yeah! Oh, don't be fool. You're not the father. Buy a vowel.
Turn two of those off. You're wasting electricity. [turns both TVs off]
Hey, you owe me. You made me feel like a criminal, you've scarred me for life, and now you want to take away my TV's? At long last, "Will-De-Beast," Have you no sense of decency?
ALF, how long are you going to push this guilt trip?
I was thinking 'til after Christmas.
Hey Willie, while you're in there, could you check on my 3 TV dinners. [Willie goes to the kitchen while ALF laughs] Oh, yeah!
