"Hello, dear diary. Pretty good day so far. Got up bright and early, had a healthy and slimming breakfast, did fourteen minutes of cardio, and then I finally got around to..." [continues]
Dude... what are we watchin'?
I think it's the Ice King's diary.
"I mean, I'm not gonna win carpenter of the year or anything, but it's a place to hang up the old toothbrush." [a Gunther jumps on bed]
Gunther"Wenk." [walks to the camera]
"Gunther. Hey, Gunther. Get-get away from the camera, sweetie. Papa's recording his innermost thoughts. 'Member, I explained this to you? [Gunther rubs his belly] Hey, Gunther? [Gunther jumps up and down] GUNTHER!!"
Gunther
"Wenk."
"Well, anyway, as you can see, I'm not wearing my—"
Gunther
"Wenk."
Gunther
"Wenk, wenk."
"Sweetie, I raised my voice because you were giving me the silent treatment. You understand?"
Gunther
"Wenk."
N-No, man. We might miss something.
[sighs] "There must be more to life than this."
Gunther
"Wenk."
"I know, you don't like when I'm contemplative. C-Contemplative? No. Con-tem-plat— C— Let's put on a play!"
What?! [cut footage to Ice King in PB makeup and Gunther with crown and beard]
"Oh, Ice King, you're so cool! You take such good care of yourself! I wanna be with you! [Gunter then pulls off beard] No, Gunther, beard stays on."
Gunther
"Wenk."
"Gunther, I need you to wear the beard!"
Gunther
"Wenk."
There's gotta be some evil secrets in here. I wanna keep watching.
Okay.. Well, why don't I make us some snacks? [sluggish] So I don't have to watch this...
Can we sit on the floor? I feel so far away from you guys.
Hey! What's goin' on here? Why's this place all crazy? I was just flying by and— [sees Gunther, gasps] GUNTHER!! YOU TOOK MY STUFF!!
Gunther
Wenk.
That's bad! You know what you get now?!
Gunther
[sadly] Wenk...
That's right, you get the squirty-squirts. [squirts spray bottle at Gunther] Bad! Bad! Now take off my demonic wishing eye.
[Gunther takes off the demonic wishing eye and all the other penguins disappear]
All right, Gunther, now go home.
Gunther
[walks off] Wenk.
That's right, walk! And while you're walking home, you think about what you did! [sighs] It's getting worse and worse with him. He just— he hates it when I leave the castle. I'm sorry, guys.
Uh, dude, where have you been?!
Yeah, and why are you all jacked up?
[chuckles] Well, I got into some crazy wiz-biz over at Wizard City. Honestly, I don't even know how I survived. Basically, it was the craziest showdown ever. I— [catches himself] I wish I could tell you all about it, but you know... "Wizards only, fools." Keep it tight.
Gunther
[gazing at the comet] Gettin' fat. Gettin' fat, right?
Gunther
However, I would suggest that this is still a nice night. 'S quiet.
Hm, it is quiet. Why don't you put on some music? The chimes, Gunther.
Gunther
Okay.
[Gunther jumps into his bag and picks up a bottled jar; opens it and conjures an ice imp playing its drum. Gunther rocks back and forth with the beat]
Gunther!! I said chimes! Gunther, no! [throws dirt at him]
Gunther
Unh! Sorry, Master, I'll put him back. [pokes imp with bottle]
Ah, never mind. Here. [kicks a glass jar to Gunther] Take the jar and find me some water. There's not enough moisture in the air for me to make us an ice camp.
Gunther
Uh, Master? I'm sorry, I don't think I've seen any water at all today.
Just do it. Don't anger Daddy.
Gunther
[leaves with Nina on lead] Wait... Are you my father?
No, but I stole your egg and mutated your brain. Get going!
Gunther?! Gunther, can you hear me?!
Gunther
[Groggily] Yeah—yes, Master Evergreen!
Okay, good. Now, aiming at the sound of my voice, throw the crown so it lands right on the top of my head.
Gunther
I—wait, what?
No, no, there's no time! It must be you, Gunther!
Gunther
Me?
Don't worry, it's easy. Even a mush-head like you couldn't donk it up too bad. Just focus on your deepest truest wish, the destruction of the deadly comet, and the rest will take care of itself.
Gunther
[Places the crown on his head] My deepest truest wish... [Darkness overtakes him] Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no!
Gunther? Buddy? What are you wishing for down there? [Gunther sprouts white hair, a long nose and blue skin and starts shooting ice powers... all just like his master, Evergreen. If that isn't bad influence, Glob knows what is.] Gunther... no... That's the wrong wish! You've got to snap out of it! Use a concentration spell or, or a basic focusing charm—like I taught you... I mean, like I meant to teach you... I—
Gunther
Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no!
Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, no! Gunther, noooooo! [Imitates explosion sounds - signaling the end of Evergreen's story - and falls off the bed and wakes up full, yawns]. Mornin'. Man, what a dream. Do you guys ever have the dino-boy dream with the astero-- what? What... what is it? [He sees the penguins shivering in the corner, afraid] Something in my teeth? Something in my hair? Something in my nose? Something in my ear?
Adventure Time · 447 quotes
