Bridget sneaks in late and you punish her by buying her stuff? Who's a guy got to kill to get a monkey around here?
S1Drummer Boy (1)
S1Drummer Boy (2)
Paul (to Kerry): You get home right now!
Paul, don't yell at Kerry!
I can't yell at Kerry. I can't yell at Bridget. I have to yell at somebody! Rory, stop reading upside down!
Kerry (to Bridget): Mom and Dad would kill you if they knew you were carrying on a long-distance relationship behind their back.
And you're not gonna tell them, right? Because you swore and made a secrecy vow and you kissed my old boyfriend, Kyle.
How long are you gonna hold that over my head?
How long does it take for a broken heart to heal?
Paul, just calm down.
I'm sorry, sweetie. I guess I'm in a bit of bad mood today. This morning, I cut myself shaving years off my life as head of this family.
S1Cool Parent
What happened to a couple of friends over?
More came, so now it's a kick back.
You mean a party.
No, no. Mom said we can't have parties. Twenty or fewer is a kick back.
You crossed the line.
I'll drive all of you in the mini van.
Oh my God. The loser cruiser.
S1Every Picture Tells a Story
Don't mess with the middle child!
So where's your family tonight, Carter?
CCarter
Wife number one is in Aspen with my girls. Wife number two went back to Italy with my boys. Wife number four, my current wife, she's vacationing with her mother in Martha's Vineyard.
What about wife number three?
CCarter
We don't ever talk about wife number three. I love wife number four.
Wow! A book!
Yeah, because something more interesting than watching a car drive in a circle is reading about it.
You're the adult here, Paul! Why don't you call Carter and explain what happened?
Oh, yeah, that's a great idea, Cate. "Here's the picture my son stole from your house, when do we start the book?"
S1Kerry's Video
[when Bridget breaks her nose, comes down for breakfast] I am not an animal.
Shut up!
Rory, are you about done?
Just about. I am a human... being.
We can let [Bridget] stay home a couple of days. What's the harm?
Paul, and I say this from a loving place...
I hate the loving place. I'm always wrong in the loving place.
What message do you think you're sending Bridget if you let her stay home from school?
Her father loves her more than her mother.
I'm not going to school, Dad.
Honey, you know deep down, no one is going to care what you look like.
What high school did you go to? You saw Kerry's video. I'm shallow. I get by on my looks. I can't go to school like this.
A broken nose is not a good reason to miss school, to avoid life. Bridget, you know beauty is only skin deep and so what if some of the kids make fun of you.
But I'm not used to it, like Kerry.
S1Good Moms Gone Wild [Newswoman reporting at a local bar in Sarasota where The Hennesseys are vacationing. All of a sudden, they see footage of a college student whipping her bikini around.] Cate: Hey, do you see that girl? Rory: Oh yeah! Talk about News Flash ! Paul: Rory! [Still looking at the News Footage], She can't even be out of high school. She's about the same age as, as a matter of fact, she looks a little like, alot like... Both Cate and Paul: BRIDGET! Rory: UGHHHHHH!!!
[ A newswoman is reporting at a local bar in Sarasota where The Hennesseys are vacationing. All of a sudden, they see footage of a college student whipping her bikini around.]
Hey, do you see that girl?
Oh yeah! Talk about News Flash !
Rory! [still looking at the News Footage], She can't even be out of high school. She's about the same age as, as a matter of fact, she looks a little like, alot like...
BCBoth Cate and Paul
BRIDGET!
UGHHHHHH!!!
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