See, with chicks, it's all about the bling-bling. And the way I figure it, we'll be making two large each by the end of the summer.
You learn everything you know from cop shows and music videos, don't you?
S1Take this Job and Squeeze It
Credit cards have limits?
[In their interviews they are asked why they want to work there]
Because I've always wanted to start my own line of snowboarding gear and I think that working here would teach me so much about the retail sports industry.
I spend most of my free time here anyway, I figure I might as well get paid for it.
Because the Gigantoplex is a great place to pick up chicks.
I need the money to go traveling.
Do you guys have like an employee discount?
[They're asked where they see themselves in five years]
Five years?!
Not working in a mall.
Jonesy (flirting): I know where I'd like to see myself tonight.
Rock climbing with some Maori dudes in New Zealand.
I don't even know what I'm doing this weekend!
Riding for my college snowboarding team. And competing in the Olympics.
[They're asked what kind of tree they'd be]
[Laughs]
Is that the uniform you have to wear? That color really doesn't suit me.
I'd be a Christmas tree.
I guess I'd be ... a maple.
No wait, a dandelion.
I'd rethink the hat, too.
I thought this was a skate shop.
I'd be an oak, because they're strong and they like to help people by providing shade from the sun.
[cellphone rings]: Sorry, this might be important.
[They're asked about their biggest accomplishments]
Getting to second base with Jill Anderson.
Perfecting my mother's signature.
I once ate ten worms on a dare.
Being the youngest girl to make the varsity soccer team.
I'd have to say my accessories.
[They're asked about their worst qualities]
My feet sometimes smell ...
I guess I don't have much patience for authority.
The list is long ... and distinguished.
When I was seven I had this really heinous orange top ...
I don't have any! I'm a pretty great guy.
[Jonesy and Jude are mocking the girl working at Wonder Taco]
I have an evil hunger brewing inside.
Yes, what kind of food could possibly defeat it?
A bird?
A plane?
BBoth
No, it's Wonder Taco!
S1The Big Sickie
If I hear "Bobby's Gotta Fry" one more time, I'm going to full on lose it!
I didn't get any sleep last night. I was a afraid to have the dream again.
What dream?
The one about the cowboy who thinks I'm the one who ran away with his wife to the big city and he's coming to kick my-aaaaaaagh! (sees a cowboy and runs away).
So, what are you on probation for?
I folded some sweatshirts instead of hanging them on the rack.
And you didn't get jail time?
Jen, it's your duty to take the day off of work. No... it's your destiny!
Destiny?
He's on a roll.
Calling in sick is, like, a necessary part of the evolutionary process.
What are you talking about?
Where would the human race be without the sick day? We'd still be living in trees eating bananas... and fish... and things. We're humans because millions of years ago, some ape took a day off and invented tools. That ape decided "I'm not going into the tree today. I'm going to go build a small car out of rocks or teach a cow to give me some milk." Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon! Which further illustrates my point, because, like, even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move, they recognized the opportunity for goofing off. It's like "one small step for man... dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy!" The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman and child!
Great. And I have to spend the afternoon ducking rednecks.
Listen up! I'm taking the day off. This may be short notice, but I have this friend who arrived suddenly from out of town. Now this friend, she comes once a month to see me and, quite frankly, I don't enjoy her visits. In fact she makes me kind of crazy! So for your safety and the safety of the fine patrons of the Khaki Barn, I'm taking the day off!
Jen seems to have lost her perspective in this particular situation.
For once you've made a truly lucid comment.
No need to insult me, dude.
Nikki (reading Caitlin's sign): "Closed for emergency pedicure"?
S1The Slow and Even-Tempered
Jude (about Wyatt's jacket): Seriously, dude. 1985 called, they want their jacket back.
What's wrong with it
Wyatt, it's old. Retro is so yesterday.
She says, without a hint of irony.
So, do you know the ending? Who did it?
Jude, it's a driver's manual.
So the chauffeur probably did it.
It's my way or the highway.
Got it.
Actually, my way will also involve the highway. But you know what I mean.
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