If I hear "Bobby's Gotta Fry" one more time, I'm going to full on lose it!
“The Big Sickie” · Season 1
In this episode: Wyatt Williams (6), Jude Lizowski (2), Jen Masterson (2), Nikki Wong (2), Caitlin Cooke (1)
I didn't get any sleep last night. I was a afraid to have the dream again.
What dream?
The one about the cowboy who thinks I'm the one who ran away with his wife to the big city and he's coming to kick my-aaaaaaagh! (sees a cowboy and runs away).
So, what are you on probation for?
I folded some sweatshirts instead of hanging them on the rack.
And you didn't get jail time?
Jen, it's your duty to take the day off of work. No... it's your destiny!
Destiny?
He's on a roll.
Calling in sick is, like, a necessary part of the evolutionary process.
What are you talking about?
Where would the human race be without the sick day? We'd still be living in trees eating bananas... and fish... and things. We're humans because millions of years ago, some ape took a day off and invented tools. That ape decided "I'm not going into the tree today. I'm going to go build a small car out of rocks or teach a cow to give me some milk." Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon! Which further illustrates my point, because, like, even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move, they recognized the opportunity for goofing off. It's like "one small step for man... dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy!" The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman and child!
Great. And I have to spend the afternoon ducking rednecks.
Listen up! I'm taking the day off. This may be short notice, but I have this friend who arrived suddenly from out of town. Now this friend, she comes once a month to see me and, quite frankly, I don't enjoy her visits. In fact she makes me kind of crazy! So for your safety and the safety of the fine patrons of the Khaki Barn, I'm taking the day off!
Jen seems to have lost her perspective in this particular situation.
For once you've made a truly lucid comment.
No need to insult me, dude.
Nikki (reading Caitlin's sign): "Closed for emergency pedicure"?
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