Jude, Wyatt and others in “The Big Sickie”

Jude

Jen, it's your duty to take the day off of work. No... it's your destiny!

Wyatt

Destiny?

Nikki

He's on a roll.

Jude

Calling in sick is, like, a necessary part of the evolutionary process.

Jen

What are you talking about?

Jude

Where would the human race be without the sick day? We'd still be living in trees eating bananas... and fish... and things. We're humans because millions of years ago, some ape took a day off and invented tools. That ape decided "I'm not going into the tree today. I'm going to go build a small car out of rocks or teach a cow to give me some milk." Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon! Which further illustrates my point, because, like, even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move, they recognized the opportunity for goofing off. It's like "one small step for man... dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy!" The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman and child!