Wyatt Williams quotes from 6teen

Wyatt

If I hear "Bobby's Gotta Fry" one more time, I'm going to full on lose it!

Wyatt

Great. And I have to spend the afternoon ducking rednecks.

Wyatt

Little bit...

Jonesy

See, with chicks, it's all about the bling-bling. And the way I figure it, we'll be making two large each by the end of the summer.

Wyatt

You learn everything you know from cop shows and music videos, don't you?

Jen

Because I've always wanted to start my own line of snowboarding gear and I think that working here would teach me so much about the retail sports industry.

Wyatt

I spend most of my free time here anyway, I figure I might as well get paid for it.

Jonesy

Because the Gigantoplex is a great place to pick up chicks.

Nikki

I need the money to go traveling.

Caitlin

Do you guys have like an employee discount?

Wyatt

Five years?!

Nikki

Not working in a mall.

Jude

Rock climbing with some Maori dudes in New Zealand.

Wyatt

I don't even know what I'm doing this weekend!

Jen

Riding for my college snowboarding team. And competing in the Olympics.

Nikki

[Laughs]

Caitlin

Is that the uniform you have to wear? That color really doesn't suit me.

Jonesy

I'd be a Christmas tree.

Wyatt

I guess I'd be ... a maple.

Jonesy

No wait, a dandelion.

Caitlin

I'd rethink the hat, too.

Jude

I thought this was a skate shop.

Jen

I'd be an oak, because they're strong and they like to help people by providing shade from the sun.

Caitlin

[cellphone rings]: Sorry, this might be important.

Jonesy

Getting to second base with Jill Anderson.

Nikki

Perfecting my mother's signature.

Jude

I once ate ten worms on a dare.

Jen

Being the youngest girl to make the varsity soccer team.

Caitlin

I'd have to say my accessories.

Jude

My feet sometimes smell ...

Wyatt

I guess I don't have much patience for authority.

Nikki

The list is long ... and distinguished.

Caitlin

When I was seven I had this really heinous orange top ...

Jonesy

I don't have any! I'm a pretty great guy.

Wyatt

I didn't get any sleep last night. I was a afraid to have the dream again.

Caitlin

What dream?

Wyatt

The one about the cowboy who thinks I'm the one who ran away with his wife to the big city and he's coming to kick my-aaaaaaagh! (sees a cowboy and runs away).

Wyatt

So, what are you on probation for?

Jen

I folded some sweatshirts instead of hanging them on the rack.

Wyatt

And you didn't get jail time?

Jude

Jen, it's your duty to take the day off of work. No... it's your destiny!

Wyatt

Destiny?

Nikki

He's on a roll.

Jude

Calling in sick is, like, a necessary part of the evolutionary process.

Jen

What are you talking about?

Jude

Where would the human race be without the sick day? We'd still be living in trees eating bananas... and fish... and things. We're humans because millions of years ago, some ape took a day off and invented tools. That ape decided "I'm not going into the tree today. I'm going to go build a small car out of rocks or teach a cow to give me some milk." Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon! Which further illustrates my point, because, like, even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move, they recognized the opportunity for goofing off. It's like "one small step for man... dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy!" The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman and child!

Jude

Jen seems to have lost her perspective in this particular situation.

Wyatt

For once you've made a truly lucid comment.

Jude

No need to insult me, dude.

Wyatt

What's wrong with it

Caitlin

Wyatt, it's old. Retro is so yesterday.

Nikki

She says, without a hint of irony.

Jude

Dude! That's so gross. How can you eat sushi?

Caitlin

I don't even like cooked fish.

Nikki

It really is revolting.

Wyatt

Have you ever actually tried it?

Nikki

No, but I don't have to try the public bathrooms here to know that they're disgusting.

Wyatt

Fine, live in ignorance. At least I know what I'm eating. Those fries probably aren't even made from real potatoes.

Jude

Yeah, but you gotta love 'em. The soul cannot live by nutrition alone. Mark my words, dude, mark my words.

Wyatt

[to Jude] You just need better time management skills. We all have something we could work on. Jonesy's obsessed with girls.

Jonesy

True, but you never take chances. Ever

Wyatt

I do so.

Jonesy

Name one.

Wyatt

Uhhhh..... [sighs]

Caitlin

I go way too crazy on sales.

Nikki

[Reluctantly] I could stop teasing the clones.

Jen

Okay, I'm not being conceited, but I can't really think of anything

Caitlin

[Angrily and fast] Oh yeah, how about butting into everybody's business and telling everyone what to do all the time.

Jen

[gasps]

Caitlin

[gasps] Did I just say that out loud?

Jen

Yes.

Caitlin

Well, you always giving everyone advice and it's not always good.

Jen

Uh, news flash: No, I don't.

Nikki

Uh, this just in: You totally do.

Jen

Here's the weather: Nuh uh.

Nikki

Hot off the press: Yeh uh. Oh, and breaking news: You're bossy, too.

Jen

Pictures at eleven: Of you being wrong!

[Irritated] Live from the Gigantoplex: You're not the only people in line here.

Jen

[Angrily] Oh yeah, well, stay tuned, because you all suck!!!

Jonesy

Hey! Nice call on the cologne spritz, huh, cheater?

Wyatt

Since when did you start checking up on me?

Jonesy

Since you started looking twice at water fountains.

Jen

Guys, this Man-Off thing is seriously getting out of hand. It's not about who smells the best anymore; it's about who smells the least horrible.

Nikki

Yeah, and it's getting really gross. Which would be hilarious if it didn't affect me so directly.

Jonesy

I'm not going to give up, unless Wyatt is going to quit for real this time.

Wyatt

As if. The Man-Off champ's either going to be you or me, which is a nice way of saying it's going to be me.

Jen

What about Jude?

Wyatt

I think we can all agree that Jude and hygiene never met on a first name basis.

Jonesy

There are still three days until the Man-Off is over, so don't let me catch you washing your hands in spit, because from now on, spit counts as a cleaning fluid.

Nikki

[referring to the girls on her team] Are they gone?

Jen

Don't worry, you're safe.

Nikki

Ahh, finally!

Wyatt

What was that?!

Nikki

Uh, that was me pulling my underwear from my butt. Where it's been lodged for, like, an hour. I hate these girly gitch!

Caitlin

Eww.

Wyatt

Nice.

Jude

I know the feeling.

I'm Jonesy's voicemail, who are you?

Nikki

[hanging up] Ugh! Why'd I break up with Jonesy? He's supposed to be the idiot, not me!

I'm Jonesy's voicemail.

Nikki

Ugh!

Excuse me, we're on the runway, so turn that off.

Nikki

Sorry, but I just said goodbye to the best friends and the best boyfriend I'll ever have, and I need to tell him I don't want to break up anymore, so back off and let me undo the biggest mistake of my life!

Let her call!

Have a heart!"

Let her call!

Yeah!

Nikki

Jonesy?

Jonesy

[simultaneously] Nikki?

I don't want to break up! Me neither! Whew!

Jen

Yeah!

Caitlin

Woo!

Wyatt

Alright, Nikki!

Nikki

Okay, seriously have to go now.

Caitlin

We love you!

Wyatt

See you!

Jonesy

Love you!

Jude

Peace out!

Jen

Bye Nikki!

Nikki

I love you too, guys! Bye for now! [She hangs up. In the mall, Jonesy sighs happily.]

Jonesy

Maybe everything will be okay after all.

[last lines] You're coming with me!