[In their interviews they are asked why they want to work there]
JenBecause I've always wanted to start my own line of snowboarding gear and I think that working here would teach me so much about the retail sports industry.
I spend most of my free time here anyway, I figure I might as well get paid for it.
Because the Gigantoplex is a great place to pick up chicks.
I need the money to go traveling.
Do you guys have like an employee discount?
[They're asked where they see themselves in five years]
Jonesy (flirting): I know where I'd like to see myself tonight.
Rock climbing with some Maori dudes in New Zealand.
I don't even know what I'm doing this weekend!
Jen
Riding for my college snowboarding team. And competing in the Olympics.
[They're asked what kind of tree they'd be]
Is that the uniform you have to wear? That color really doesn't suit me.
I guess I'd be ... a maple.
I'd rethink the hat, too.
I thought this was a skate shop.
Jen
I'd be an oak, because they're strong and they like to help people by providing shade from the sun.
[cellphone rings]: Sorry, this might be important.
[They're asked about their biggest accomplishments]
Getting to second base with Jill Anderson.
Perfecting my mother's signature.
I once ate ten worms on a dare.
Jen
Being the youngest girl to make the varsity soccer team.
I'd have to say my accessories.
[They're asked about their worst qualities]
My feet sometimes smell ...
I guess I don't have much patience for authority.
The list is long ... and distinguished.
When I was seven I had this really heinous orange top ...
I don't have any! I'm a pretty great guy.
Jen, it's your duty to take the day off of work. No... it's your destiny!
Calling in sick is, like, a necessary part of the evolutionary process.
Jen
What are you talking about?
Where would the human race be without the sick day? We'd still be living in trees eating bananas... and fish... and things. We're humans because millions of years ago, some ape took a day off and invented tools. That ape decided "I'm not going into the tree today. I'm going to go build a small car out of rocks or teach a cow to give me some milk." Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon! Which further illustrates my point, because, like, even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move, they recognized the opportunity for goofing off. It's like "one small step for man... dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy!" The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman and child!
[to Jude] You just need better time management skills. We all have something we could work on. Jonesy's obsessed with girls.
True, but you never take chances. Ever
I go way too crazy on sales.
[Reluctantly] I could stop teasing the clones.
Jen
Okay, I'm not being conceited, but I can't really think of anything
[Angrily and fast] Oh yeah, how about butting into everybody's business and telling everyone what to do all the time.
Jen
[gasps]
[gasps] Did I just say that out loud?
Jen
Yes.
Well, you always giving everyone advice and it's not always good.
Jen
Uh, news flash: No, I don't.
Uh, this just in: You totally do.
Jen
Here's the weather: Nuh uh.
Hot off the press: Yeh uh. Oh, and breaking news: You're bossy, too.
Jen
Pictures at eleven: Of you being wrong!
MUMovie Usher
[Irritated] Live from the Gigantoplex: You're not the only people in line here.
Jen
[Angrily] Oh yeah, well, stay tuned, because you all suck!!!
Jen
Did you just say you're having your stag-party at Grind Me?!
Yep. Thursday night baby!
CCourtney
They double-booked us?!
So? Grind Me's a big place. We can have them both there, it'll be fun!
Jen
You can't have a stag-party at the same place we're having our shower!
DDiego
[giggling] Nice dress!
Jen
Shut it!
Hey! Nice call on the cologne spritz, huh, cheater?
Since when did you start checking up on me?
Since you started looking twice at water fountains.
Jen
Guys, this Man-Off thing is seriously getting out of hand. It's not about who smells the best anymore; it's about who smells the least horrible.
Yeah, and it's getting really gross. Which would be hilarious if it didn't affect me so directly.
I'm not going to give up, unless Wyatt is going to quit for real this time.
As if. The Man-Off champ's either going to be you or me, which is a nice way of saying it's going to be me.
Jen
What about Jude?
I think we can all agree that Jude and hygiene never met on a first name basis.
There are still three days until the Man-Off is over, so don't let me catch you washing your hands in spit, because from now on, spit counts as a cleaning fluid.
[referring to the girls on her team] Are they gone?
Jen
Don't worry, you're safe.
[She pulls at her underwear from inside her cargo pants, and gets relief... all to the girls' surprise.]
Uh, that was me pulling my underwear from my butt. Where it's been lodged for, like, an hour. I hate these girly gitch!
[last scene of the series, Nikki is trying to phone home on the plane.]
JSJonesy's Voicemail
I'm Jonesy's voicemail, who are you?
[hanging up] Ugh! Why'd I break up with Jonesy? He's supposed to be the idiot, not me!
[Nikki tries to call again.]
JSJonesy's Voicemail
I'm Jonesy's voicemail.
FAFlight Attendant
Excuse me, we're on the runway, so turn that off.
Sorry, but I just said goodbye to the best friends and the best boyfriend I'll ever have, and I need to tell him I don't want to break up anymore, so back off and let me undo the biggest mistake of my life!
[The other passengers voice their assent.]
RGRandom Guy
Let her call!
BBusinessman
Let her call!
[The flight attendant sighs a harassed sigh and walks away. Nikki tries again and gets through.]
NJNikki and Jonesy
I don't want to break up! Me neither! Whew!
[On the plane and in the mall, people cheer.]
Jen
Yeah!
[Behind Nikki, the flight attendant clears her throat.]
Okay, seriously have to go now.
Jen
Bye Nikki!
I love you too, guys! Bye for now! [She hangs up. In the mall, Jonesy sighs happily.]
Maybe everything will be okay after all.
[The camera zooms out, providing a wide, wide view of the food court, which is cluttered with many of the characters that appeared throughout the series. Ron drags a teenager with an orange mohawk away.]
RRon
[last lines] You're coming with me!
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