Jude Lizowski quotes from 6teen

Jude

I didn't know you could drive so slowly in this game.

Jude

Remember, it's not just about driving. It's also about killing things.

Jude

You're going to make someone very happy tomorrow, Mr. Ball.

Jude

Could be a lip zit. I once had a zit on my back that had a life of its own. One morning, it was gone... and so was a pair of my shoes.

Jude

"Lonely and single Karla is looking for more than a one-night stand, but she's looking for love with all the wrong guys." Duuuuuuude... There's sex in H-E-R-E! [laughs] I spelled the wrong word.

Jen

Because I've always wanted to start my own line of snowboarding gear and I think that working here would teach me so much about the retail sports industry.

Wyatt

I spend most of my free time here anyway, I figure I might as well get paid for it.

Jonesy

Because the Gigantoplex is a great place to pick up chicks.

Nikki

I need the money to go traveling.

Caitlin

Do you guys have like an employee discount?

Wyatt

Five years?!

Nikki

Not working in a mall.

Jude

Rock climbing with some Maori dudes in New Zealand.

Wyatt

I don't even know what I'm doing this weekend!

Jen

Riding for my college snowboarding team. And competing in the Olympics.

Nikki

[Laughs]

Caitlin

Is that the uniform you have to wear? That color really doesn't suit me.

Jonesy

I'd be a Christmas tree.

Wyatt

I guess I'd be ... a maple.

Jonesy

No wait, a dandelion.

Caitlin

I'd rethink the hat, too.

Jude

I thought this was a skate shop.

Jen

I'd be an oak, because they're strong and they like to help people by providing shade from the sun.

Caitlin

[cellphone rings]: Sorry, this might be important.

Jonesy

Getting to second base with Jill Anderson.

Nikki

Perfecting my mother's signature.

Jude

I once ate ten worms on a dare.

Jen

Being the youngest girl to make the varsity soccer team.

Caitlin

I'd have to say my accessories.

Jude

My feet sometimes smell ...

Wyatt

I guess I don't have much patience for authority.

Nikki

The list is long ... and distinguished.

Caitlin

When I was seven I had this really heinous orange top ...

Jonesy

I don't have any! I'm a pretty great guy.

Jonesy

I have an evil hunger brewing inside.

Jude

Yes, what kind of food could possibly defeat it?

Jonesy

A bird?

Jude

A plane?

No, it's Wonder Taco!

Jude

Jen, it's your duty to take the day off of work. No... it's your destiny!

Wyatt

Destiny?

Nikki

He's on a roll.

Jude

Calling in sick is, like, a necessary part of the evolutionary process.

Jen

What are you talking about?

Jude

Where would the human race be without the sick day? We'd still be living in trees eating bananas... and fish... and things. We're humans because millions of years ago, some ape took a day off and invented tools. That ape decided "I'm not going into the tree today. I'm going to go build a small car out of rocks or teach a cow to give me some milk." Next thing you know, we're golfing on the moon! Which further illustrates my point, because, like, even at the point where the astronauts were pulling this mad historical move, they recognized the opportunity for goofing off. It's like "one small step for man... dude, let's spin a few donuts in my moon buggy!" The sick day isn't just a fun thing to do, it's a fundamental right of every man, woman and child!

Jude

Jen seems to have lost her perspective in this particular situation.

Wyatt

For once you've made a truly lucid comment.

Jude

No need to insult me, dude.

Jude

So, do you know the ending? Who did it?

Jen

Jude, it's a driver's manual.

Jude

So the chauffeur probably did it.

Jude

It's my way or the highway.

Jen

Got it.

Jude

Actually, my way will also involve the highway. But you know what I mean.

Jen

I got four points.

Jude

The game's highscore is 75,000!

Jen

This is a really expensive car...

Jude

Expensive yet free.

Jude

Dude! That's so gross. How can you eat sushi?

Caitlin

I don't even like cooked fish.

Nikki

It really is revolting.

Wyatt

Have you ever actually tried it?

Nikki

No, but I don't have to try the public bathrooms here to know that they're disgusting.

Wyatt

Fine, live in ignorance. At least I know what I'm eating. Those fries probably aren't even made from real potatoes.

Jude

Yeah, but you gotta love 'em. The soul cannot live by nutrition alone. Mark my words, dude, mark my words.

Jude

I have a new addition to the staff picks wall.

Plenty of room there now. What do you got?

Jude

Radical Pool Party 2

[stares at Jude questionably] I want you to think about what you just said.

Jude

puts on a hilarious thinking face with tongue out