30 Rock Season 2 quotes

Jack

Cooter!

That's not my name. My name is James Riley. Cooter Burger? What do you think I am, a cartoon dog? The president named me that!

Jack

He gave you two nicknames?

"Cooter" because I look like a turtle, and "Burger" because he saw me eating a hamburger one time! We have to get out of here.

Jack

Now that's the spirit. But if they're not taking resignations, there's only one way out: we have to work together to get fired.

It wasn't even a hamburger... it was a sandwich.

Liz

It was the cheese curls.

Jack

Pardon?

Liz

Causing the false positives on my home pregnancy tests. Apparently, Sabor de Soledad gets its special tangy flavor from evaporated bull semen.

Jack

That explains your hair's thickness and shine.

Liz

Apparently, in Mexico women use it to stop their periods before Cinco de Mayo.

Jack

I'm a little afraid to ask if you're still eating them.

Liz

(dejectedly) They're so good.