[snaps her fingers in his face every time she speaks] Is that annoying? Is that obnoxious and rude? Would you find it distracting if someone did that to you while you were working? Oh, you don't have a job. Sorry.
Oh. [snaps her fingers in front of Hipster #2 too] No, hipster. No. Do not think we're on the same team. We have nothing in common. I wear knit hats when it's cold out. You wear knit hats 'cause of Coldplay. You have tattoos to piss off your dad. My dad doesn't know he's my dad. [turns to Hipster #1] And finally, you think [snaps her fingers in his face] this is the sound that gets you service. I think [snaps again] this is the sound that dries up my vagina.
I have a taser! [wakes up suddenly and tasers Max, who falls unconscious to the ground] Oh, my God. I am so sorry. I didn't think it would hurt so much. It's pink.
I'm just gonna go say good-bye to Chestnut and get going. You know, having only one cute outfit takes hours off getting dressed. [walks out into the backyard] Oh. That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn. Morning, Chestnut, it's a beautiful— [slips and falls on Chestnut's feces]
Okay, well, just FYI, when I used to cry in front of my other girlfriends, they'd be like, "What you cryin' about, C-line? Look at you, girl, you're fierce, you got your glam on!"
[after Han decides to install a karaoke machine in the diner] You can't give hipsters a microphone. That's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire.
What?! No way! No way! Is this Narnia? I'm about to say something I swore I'd never say. OMG! Again, OMG! It's lame, but nothing else really nails it. This is the room that OMG was born for.
Oh, what am I gonna do? Walk around Williamsburg in a $3,000 gown? Oh my god... wait a minute. Grab everything with a price tag on it that we can re-sell, or that you think I'd look amazing in.
[Max runs straight to the furs and grabs one off the rack setting off the alarm]
Hipsters in Williamsburg will pay for anything if it makes them feel like they're in on something new no one else knows about. All you need's a gimmick.
That's crazy. What's so hard about going up to Peach and saying, "Good afternoon, Peach. Exciting news... I started a cupcake business. Here's our card. Please pass them out to all your friends and help us launch our exciting new business venture. Thank you."
That sounds needy, like when someone asks you to come to their one-woman show. "Somebody date-raped me, and I didn't think I'd live through it, but I did, and now I'm stronger, and, uh, still needy."
Call him right now! He can't come over here. Look around! I have his napkins hanging up everywhere. He'll think I'm Dexter. [intercom buzzes] Don't answer that. Don't you...
Yes, I'm selfish, and you're Dexter. So, quick... help me take down the napkins. Oh, God, there are so many! How come I never noticed how many there were before?
