I feel like a poodle at a dessert buffet. What I wouldn't do for a flat iron right about now.
People could be losing their homes right now and you're worried about your hair. Ugh, you're worse than Anderson Cooper (looks around).
Ooh, you're looking for Patrick. You like him.
I'm just excited to know that you're capable of physical attraction. Now, maybe I won't have to suffer the burden of caring for you and your cats when you're old.
Sorry, can't take you seriously with your hair like this (twirls Bianca's curls).
(Chastity comes up).
Look, I'm off duty. Fire's over.
OOld Lady
Oh, so I guess I don't have to show you what your boyfriend left for you.
OOld Lady
(points) Over there. Missy, lighten up - I know a lot of cat ladies who started out like you. (smiles and walks away while Kat goes to see what Patrick left her - her mom's vinyl albums)
(while Kat flips through her albums in disbelief that Patrick was thoughtful enough to bring them) I am so happy we can go home. This evacuation has been nothing but drama.
(Walter appears behind them)
(finds Patrick sitting on a ledge on the roof of the school) Don't jump.
Oh, I don't have to, you're here now.
I'm only three stories up. All I'd do is break a leg.
(points to fire burning in the distance) Come check this out. It's really beautiful.
If you don't think about all the homes being destroyed.
(leans closer and points) Look over there. UGH! (pretends to be slipping off the edge. Kat cries out and reaches for him) Aah!
Oh! (walks away from the ledge, Patrick follows)
See, you don't want me to jump.
Now, I can tell you what I wanted to tell you.
Ooh, I'm on pins and needles. Let me guess...is it the same thing you wanted to tell the girl downstairs?
Oh, I like it when you're jealous.
I'm not jealous, I'm appalled- there's a difference.
Look, I was going to tell her that she should stop stalking me.
Hmm..big words from the guy who shows up unannounced in my bedroom window at eleven O'clock at night. That's way past visiting hours.
You talk a lot. (takes her head in his hands ands kisses her, they continue on for several moments)
(pulls back, happy) Is that what you wanted to tell me?
Sure (smiles and leans in to kiss her again)
(breaking away quicker this time) No, seriously.
Oh, seriously? Okay, I realized why I find you interesting.
(cupping her face with one hand) You're different from other girls. You have a mind of your own.
That must be a refreshing change for you.
It is, you're not all clingy and...needy. We can just make-out and it doesn't have to be this whole big thing. (leans in to kiss her but Kat pulls away)
Right. (moves away) Right, because I'm a total slut. But I have a mind of my own.
No that's not what I meant.
I meant you're not living some fairy-tale where I'm your prince charming.
Trust me. No one would mistake you for prince charming. Prince Charles maybe.
Aah! And we were having such a nice time.
Unbelievable! I'm worried about losing my home all of my stuff, every memory and you just want to hook up.
Why do you have to make everything so difficult?
What can I say, I'm not easy. (Leaves the rooftop)
(Kat's handing out small bottles of water and spots Patrick coming down the hall again, the Old lady's suddenly right next to her)
Do you have keys to any of the classrooms? I NEED you to open one.
Chastity needs more room for her ego?
Someone brought a family into our room and she's a bit territorial.
Too bad. Tell Gangus Chastity that there's a fire going on and we all need to pull together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah- we are the world I get it. Can't you just open a door please?
Why can't you just help me once? Why does everything you do have to be about principles?
Why does everything you do have to be about Chastity? It's pathetic.
Fine, I guess you'd rather be handing out water bottles to old ladies than making out with Patrick Verona but you're right I'm the one who's pathetic!
(spots Patrick and follows behind him) Have you ever done something you've regretted?
Giving you advice because you keep coming back.
Okay, but have you ever done something you're really sorry about?
(spins around and looks at him) What did you do?
I think I started the fire.
Okay, let me guess you set off a model rocket?
Well it was either that or you were setting your farts on fire. So, what's the problem?
The problem is the guilt is eating me alive. I'm thinking of confessing.
Patrick: Well, it's not like you did it on purpose.
You're right. That's it I'll tell them what happened, that it was an accident and I'm really sorry.
Yeah, worse case scenario you get 5, 10 years but you can handle prison. And with a face like yours you'll have a husband in no time. (walks away)
(handing a bar of some kind to an old lady) Here you go ma'am.
Old Lady': Does this have seeds in it? I have diverticulitis.
I'm not sure actually. (looks at packet to see ingredients, looks up and spots Patrick walking down the hall)
OOld Lady
Oh, who's that you're undressing with your eyes? Your boyfriend?
Ugh, no. Just this guy I know.
OOld Lady
Oh, missy I wasn't born yesterday.
(walks around speechless old woman to talk to Patrick)
So you made it, where's your family?
I killed them all. (laughs) They were slowing me down.
Natural disasters do bring out the best in people. So what was your big epiphany?
GGirl
(runs up to Patrick's side and puts a hand on his shoulder) You're okay! Did you get my messages? I sent you like a million texts. When are we going to talk? You said you needed to tell me something? (clings to his arm)
(looks at Kat and struggles to explain) Ugh, it's not like that.
Sure its not. Enjoy your chat. (walks away)
(after hearing on the news that the fire is suspected of being started by homemade pyrotechnics)
Yeah, like fireworks, flares...
Or model rockets. Michael that model rocket we launched yesterday in my backyard...it never came down! Think we started the fire?
There's no way. All we did was push a button.
That shot a vessel of highly flammable balsa wood containing gunpowder! (looks around) Into bone-dry brush igniting a gigantic conflagration.
(Kat dances and sings her way around her bedroom, she passes the window and spots Patrick watching her)
That treats me like a laaad-eek! Sweet mother (opens window) What the hell are you doing here? It is eleven o'clock at night! (realises her music is still playing and goes to turn it off, also removing her plate while her back is turned to him)
Isn't it obvious? I'm a vampire I need permission to enter.
(Patrick climbs through the window)
I've never seen this beatles album.
It was only released in the UK. Those were my mom's she was a real purist.
She was. So again, what is with the breaking and entering?
(spins and around and steps closer to Kat) I had something I wanted to tell you.
(Kat's bedroom door opens and Bianca walks in dressed in Pjs with rollers in her hair)
Can I borrow your- (Patrick and Kat turn to look at her) A male in your bedroom and he's cute! Am I sleepwalking again? (Patrick smirks while Kat pulls Bianca into the room and closes her door, shushing Bianca)
(Patrick sits down while Kat freaks out) Dad is going to hear you.
Oh my god! Crap! Crap! Crap! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! (pulls Patrick up from her chair and pushes him towards the window) Just a second Dad I'm...indecent!
And in so much trouble. I'm loving this.
(both girls look towards the window, Patrick's gone)
