You Can't Do That on Television · Season 5, Episode 6
[(Lisa and Alasdair run to the front door, holding buckets filled with body parts. The ring the doorbell and Valerie answers it.)]
Yes?
Oh well, hi, we're on a spare body parts run, and we wonder whether you have anything to donate.
Well, yes I do. (Grabs Lance by his shoulders) A complete set. (Lance complains she Valerie shuts the door)
[Lisa enters the doctor's office]
Doctor, you've got to help me.
What seems to be the problem, Lisa?
I'm different from everybody else.
You can say that again.
I'm different from everybody else. You see, I've got parts that other people don't have and they've got parts that I don't have.
When did you first notice this?
After gym class, when I was changing.
Well, this'll very easy to fix. I'm gonna write a prescription.
For medicine?
No, it's for your English teacher to teach you how to read. You've been going into the boys' locker room. Oh, that's fifty dollars, please.
[This bit aired in the original broadcast, but was edited out of later broadcasts.]
Karen, what do you look for in a guy?
What?
Well, what do you think is the most important part of a guy? Is it his hair, or his hair, or his muscles, or--
Oh, no, it's none of those things, it's what he keeps in his pants.
KAREN!
Yeah, his wallet.
Christine, I just came back from the doctor's and he tells me I have the body of a 17-year-old.
Well, give it back, Ross. You're getting it all wrinkled.
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