You Can't Do That on Television · Season 4, Episode 9
I can't stand to eat any more of this junk Barth tries to pass off as food. His cooking's disgusting!
Oh, it's not that bad. In fact, did you know that Barth is one of the most sought-after chefs in the entire country?
You've got to be kidding.
Oh, no - he's wanted in seventeen states for food poisoning.
D'oh, I heard that!
You know, I took home economics once.
(sarcastically) YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IT!
Thanks a lot, guys.
[Christine notices Lisa drinking water in her bed and there are a lot of glasses on her night stand.]
Lisa, why are you drinking all that water?
Well, remember last year at summer camp?
Do I! The hard beds and those cruel counselors and all the black flies and all the mosquito bites that we got.
Right. So Mom said I can't go if can't stop wetting the bed. So...
[They both grab a glass and drink part of it. Then they pour the rest on their beds.]
[Alasdair is at the firing squad.]
Ready... aim... (he pulls out a pie from behind his back) eat!
Christine's homemade pie?! Come on, I don't wanna die a slow, agonizing, painful death! Come on, shoot me! Come on, have mercy!
Alright. Amigos, we'll show him some mercy. (chuckles) Ready, aim... (he pulls out another pie) Lisa's pie!
You're cruel! You're-- the Geneva Convention should have something to say about cruelty like this! Shoot me, please! Come on, amigos! Fire! Fire!
I love alphabet soup.
Hey, look, the letters in your soup are coming together.
You're right!
What does it spell?
I...
"I do"? "I don't"?
"I don't know." [Lisa gets slimed]
Oh, Lisa, you don't know how much time it took me to orchestrate those noodles so that they would-- (laughs) It was worth it. Drink some Kool-Aid. You'll feel much better.
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