AAnnouncer
The most popular children's show on television will not be seen at this time in order that we might bring you another episode of You Can't Do That On Television.
“Popularity” · Season 3, Episode 3
In this episode: Mrs. Prevert (3), Kevin (3), Mr. Prevert (3), Christine (2), Lisa (1)
[Kevin is being strapped to an electric chair.]
When I agreed to do the Kevin Kubusheskie celebrity roast, this isn't what I had in mind!
[The kids are wearing numbered jerseys because the show is holding an audience survey to determine the most popular cast member.]
I don't why we have to wear these stupid numbers anyway. I mean, what difference does it make who's the most popular kid on the show?
What difference does it make? It makes a lot of difference! For instance, the most popular kid on the show can demand a lot from the producers, like she can ask for her own make-up lady, she can ask for her own dressing room... (realizes something) Think of it, she can ask for her own chauffeur-driven limousine. But most important of all, she can ask for more money and probably get it, and everybody else will get less.
Really?
Yeah, the producers take this audience survey stuff very seriously.
Oh. [Pushes Christine off-camera] I've always said that the audience was the most important part of our show. I mean, without the audience, there wouldn't be a show, now would there? So remember, I've always said that you're the most intelligent, good-looking, and wonderful audience--
He's ever lied to. [Kevin attacks Christine.]
[Opposite sketch]
Great news, Dad! I've just been voted the least popular kid in our school!
Oh, good, son! Hey, listen, just keep up the good work and keep studying the maths because you'll have no trouble getting a job with the department of Internal Revenue!
Alright! (leaves, reciting math equations to himself)
Sounds right to me.
[Elizabeth is on the phone.]
EElizabeth
Okay then, Ed, you can pick me up by eight? Okay, bye-bye. [She hangs up.]
Wait a minute, did I hear that right?
EElizabeth
What?
You just told Ed to pick you up at eight.
EElizabeth
Yeah, so?
Well, half an hour ago, you told him to pick you up at six.
EElizabeth
Oh, that was a different Ed.
You mean to say that you're going out with two boys named Ed?
EElizabeth
Haven't you heard? "Two Eds are better than one"?
LLisa
Dad, who's the most popular person among all your friends?
Well, I would say...
Whoever's buying the next round of drinks.
That last skit is very important. It helps to prove how one can not always believe how surveys say. For all we know, the people at home filling out the ballots may simply be a bunch of uneducated buffoons.
[She realizes what she just said.]
OH, NO, NO! I didn't mean to say that! Oh, who wrote the cue cards?!
[Ross, holding a card, points to himself and chuckles. Cut to The Preverts watching the show.]
That girl just called me an uneducated buffoon. I am not voting for her.
I always thought she was remarkably perceptive.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's You Can't Do That on Television pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.