(on the phone) I'm sorry, Jennifer can't come to the telephone right now; she's tied up.
(Camera pans out to reveal that Jennifer is literally tied to the armchair.)
(to Jennifer) And you're going to stay tied up, young lady, until you learn to stop picking your nose!
Mom, as well as not being able to pick my nose, I won't be able to do my homework or my chores, either.
Oh. Well, then I guess I'd... Oh no you don't, young lady! I'm not falling for that! You never do any homework, and you certainly don't ever do any chores. So ha ha, one for me.
(Mrs. Prevert turns on the TV.)
TA TV Announcer
For the next five hours, we here at Educational Television are proud to present a festival featuring the Iranian String Quartet.
(to a horrified Jennifer) You won't be able to change the channel, either.
We've decided that during each link on this show, somebody is going to say those fateful words.
I d-... you know what words, Carlos. Now say them.
Me? Why should I say them? No way!
Ross, I don't know who you think you are, but...
[Carlos is slimed]
...but there is no way, I'm going to get green slimed.
[The other kids and Ross laugh]
[Opposite sketch. Everyone is paddling themselves.]
This'll teach us never to slime poor Ross again!
We will never be so horrible to Ross again!
We will never slime Mr. Ewich again!
[The screen quickly flips back.]
Wait, wait, you guys what are we doing?
We must be crazy! (They all groan in pain)
I never knew I could paddle that hard. Boy, my kids are gonna hate me.
Before I sit down again, I need to cool my rear end in a bucket of water. [She gets drenched] Wrong end! [She bends over]
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's You Can't Do That on Television pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
