“Age” quotes from You Can't Do That on Television

"Michael Jackson Becomes Old And Wrinkled" will not be seen at this time so that we may bring you the following show full of old jokes.

Vanessa, how does it feel to be back on the show this time around?

Well, at first I thought it was going to be awful, but actually it's not that bad.

Oh yeah? It's all right now, but wait until we really get into this show. We found out there's a lot of stuff that you owe us.

Oh really? Like what?

What's this?!

Well Vanessa, it just so happens that that Adoption show that I mentioned, you said the magic words and the slime did not come down. So, you owe us one.

But Ross, that's not fair! I didn't even say "I don't know."

We appreciate your generosity Vanessa, but you only owed us one not two slimes.

Ross, I wasn't being generous.

Oh, of course not. You're stupid like the old days.

Steph, can you please turn off that light? I can't get to sleep.

Well sorry if it bothers you Vanessa, but I need help to get to sleep.

Steph, don't you think you're just a little old to be depending on a night light?

It's not a night light Vanessa, it's a TV set. I'm watching old episodes of You Can't Do That On Television with you on them. It puts me in a sleeping mood.

Hey, that's a pretty good idea. Oh no! Doug's on them! Now I'm going to have nightmares.

Hi, Van. Did you call my name?

AAAAH! DOUG!! (throws her stuffed bear at him)

Alasdair, Christine and Kevin. Sounds like a folk song.