Xena: Warrior Princess · Season 2
[to Gabrielle] When I sliced open your husband, how long did it take him to die? [Callisto laughs and Gabrielle runs away]
There's a path out of the mountains to.... [watches Gabrielle run, then turns to Callisto] What's wrong with her?
We played a game of truth or dare, but she's not very good at it.
You must have a death wish.
You know, it's funny, I think I do.
Xena, do you think that, deep down, Callisto feels sorry for the things that she's done?
No.
I do. I have to or I can't forgive her. And if I can't forgive her, I can't move on. Goodbye, Callisto.
Xena, this was our only frying pan. Why do you do that? You do have weapons, don't you?
I like to be creative in a fight. It gets my juices going.
Can we cook with your juices?
Another one's fallen for you.
Again? What is it?
Oh, the blue eyes... the leather. Men love leather.
I think it's time for a wardrobe change.
Yeah. You could try wearing chainmail.
Nah. That'd just attract a kinkier group.
You're probably right.
On the other hand, I could just stop bathing and wear a smelly wolf skin. That'd turn ‘em off.
That's true. Of course, you'd also be traveling alone.
YOU USED MY SCROLL??
I had to improvise. There were no good leaves! I used a piece that hardly had any writing on it.
[Minya is pouring hot water into Xena and Gabrielle's bathtub]
Oh, that's enough, Minya!
She's in that, "I'll do anything for the Warrior Princess" haze!
[Minya is playing with Xena's whip] The rotten thing came back and bit me!
You gotta be careful with it. What are you doing with my whip, anyway?
It isn't your whip, anymore. I traded my best frying pan for it, fair and square.
Look, we have to cook our food. I am still waiting for the fish I had for lunch to stop trying to swim upstream!
No, this isn't about cooking, is it?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I messed with your scroll, so you... You traded my whip for a frying pan? I want it back.
No! It belongs to me! You don't get that concept very well, do you? The whip is mine. The frying pan's yours. Hower is mine! She's yours.
I'm just an over-achieving sidekick.
Meleager's murder weapon-- right here! An actual reproduction of the possible murder weapon, that was never found! Here you go, little lady-- the perfect souvenir for the occasion!
I'm not a little lady.
Look, my best friend is Xena, Warrior Princess and she is not going to like this forced wedding thing, if you get my drift.
I can't marry the king because my heart belongs to another. And even though I can't be with them now, I'm not ready to be with anyone else.
It's not you it's me. I'm just not ready for this kind of commitment. Which is probably better for you anyway because all the men I get serious about seem to wind up dead.
I said I could learn something from you and I did. You are who you pretend to be. So you'd better pretend to be something you can live with.
Be careful, Palamon. We all eventually become what we pretend we are.
Sirens? Their song is said to call all men who hear it to the death on the rocks of the island.
All men. I´m not a man.
Yeah, I´ve noticed.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Xena: Warrior Princess pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
