WWE Raw Season 1 quotes

Shawn Michaels

You ready?

Chris Benoit

Oh yeah.

Michaels

Look you know I've always tried to shoot straight with you. You and I, we're out there together again tonight, familiar waters for us. And I want you to know and I'm gonna be honest. Tonight, I'm gonna do what's best for me.

Benoit

What's - what's best for you? Sh - Shawn, what do you mean by that?

Michaels

Look, I'm gonna go out there tonight and I'm gonna do what I always do. Show the entire world why I'm the showstopper. I wanna make sure, come Taboo Tuesday, that I leave absolutely no doubt in anybody's mind that HBK should be the man they vote for to face Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Benoit

Well just so you know, I'm not gonna sit back and let you steal the spotlight. All right? You want a piece of Triple H, you're gonna have to pry me off of him, because tonight, I'm gonna show all the people what the Crippler can do, and come Taboo Tuesday, by making Triple H tap out in the middle of the ring. [Edge approaches Michaels and Benoit]

Michaels

Excuse me, you mind? We're - we're having a conversation.

Edge

Yeah yeah I noticed that. You know, thank you for including me in your discussion.

Michaels

Whoa whoa, now if I remember correctly, he and I, we're not really worthy of uh, getting another title shot against Triple H. I mean, that is what you said last week, wasn't it?

Edge

Yeah it is what I said. And I stand by it. You see, both of you, you've had your shots against Triple H. You've had your chances at the World title over and over and over again. But I haven't. I deserve the shot against Triple H at Taboo Tuesday. And tonight, I'm gonna prove it. See you out there boys.

Jim Ross

This is gonna get interesting.

Jim Ross

Well ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of all of us here at the WWE want to thank everyone for making Taboo Tuesday such a phenomenal success. In all the years I've had the privilege of broadcasting for you, I've never had as much fun and it was all because of your votes. Now ladies and gentlemen, we had hoped to have Edge here live tonight. Unfortunately he has refused to appear here in Des Moines live. However, he is joining us via satellite. [Edge appears on the Titantron] And Edge, I, I think the question is, is rather obvious. Would you mind explaining to our worldwide audience and the great folks here in Des Moines, Iowa, just exactly, well, how do you justify your actions at Taboo Tuesday?

Edge

Justify? That title was not Shawn Michaels' to win. That title was mine to win. Mine. You know, do I need to spell it out? Do I need to spell it out for you and all the people once again? Well I will. But it's for the last time. Here's the laundry list. I defeated Triple H in a tag team match two weeks before Taboo Tuesday. I defeated Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a triple threat match the night before Taboo Tuesday. But I still didn't get voted in. Now once again, I got taken for granted and I thought about it, I thought, "Why is that?" Is it the sympathy factor? "Oh, poor Shawn Michaels. You're breaking my heart, Heartbreak Kid! Your poor knee." But you wanna talk about injuries? You wanna talk about personal hells? I came back after a year off because of a broken neck! I fought through it, I came back and what happened? I broke my hand. I fought through that! My foot, my groin, YOU NAME IT, I've done it! And I came back. Then what happened when I come back? Oh let's see, I go to my hometown of Toronto at SummerSlam, and the people boo me out of the building. Once again, taking me for granted. Well I'm sick of it, I'm fed up. So because of six percent, JR, six percent, my life changed. My life completely changed because of six tiny little percent. You know, you may ask yourself, why am I not there tonight? People take me for granted. They could have had me there tonight. I could have been standing in the middle of that ring holding the World Heavyweight Championship above my head, and they would've seen me. But I figured it out. They don't deserve to see me. And they'll see me back on Raw when I'm damn good and ready.

Trish! [sees Trish Stratus in a towel combing her hair]

Hey Shelton.

What are you doing here?

Oh me? I was just taking a long, hot shower. And where you off to, looking so pretty?

Monday Night Raw? I got a six-man tag match. William and Eugene need me.

But what about my needs? What about Trish?

Oh sugar. Don't worry. You'll find somebody else. I mean, you are the biggest slut on Raw.

[scoffs] You're so uptight. You need to loosen up. And I'm just toweling.

Vince McMahon

What the hell's going on here?! [sees Benjamin and Stratus and is shocked] It's a woman in a towel. I mean, this is unconscionable. Th - this is scandalous. I, I can see the, the moral fabric of America disintegrating right before my very eyes. The sexual overtones, the, the racial overtones.

Excuse me?

Well Shelton, you, you may not realize this but, you're an African-American. And everybody knows African-Americans are attracted to Canadian white women with broken noses. [Stratus adjusts her face mask] No. I'm sorry, but the FCC is not gonna tolerate this, and neither will I. I mean, I'm not gonna have a locker room full of miscreants and deviants. This is the WWE. This is NOT the NFL. And it damn sure is not the NBA. Because of this kind of sexual titillation that will send you and other professional wrestlers up into the stands to, to attack the audience! And if that would've happened, that would be the downfall of civilization as we know it.

You know what? You really need to lighten up. [walks out]

But I have a board of directors to answer to. Someone has to uphold the, the, the, the virtue. Is he gone?

Yep. [drops her towel as the "Monday Night Football" theme plays]

Oh my God. [Stratus jumps into McMahon's arms] Oh, oh yeah. Are you ready for some wrestling?

Eric Bischoff

Triple H, I asked you to come down to the ring alone.

Triple H

It's all right. It's okay Eric. Evolution and I are one of the same. Evolution is a part of me. When Evolution succeeds, I succeed, and vice versa. It doesn't matter, Eric, whether it's Batista, whether it's the Nature Boy, or whether it's The Game. Together, we have more wins than both of these guys combined and above all else, Eric, the World Heavyweight Champion should be a winner. So, I just think the choice is, is pretty obvious for you, Eric.

Bischoff

Interesting. That's a, uh, that's a different approach to the one you had in my office a few moments ago. Well let's talk about my choices. My first choice tonight was Chris Benoit's option. To have a rematch with the Triple Threat match tonight.

Jerry Lawler

Well that's what the fans want.

Bischoff

Well I thought about that and I decided that that's just not what I wanted to do. And then Edge. Edge gave me a choice. He wanted me to just hand the belt over. But you know what, from a purely business point of view, that would be just too risky, given that you've never held the title before. Which brings me to my third choice. Now Triple H, you say that a win for Evolution is a win for you, right? Well I'm gonna put that theory to the test. On January 9, 2005, we're gonna have a pay-per-view called New Year's Revolution. And at New Year's Revolution, we're gonna have a match that's a proven commodity. A match that will prove without a shadow of a doubt, who deserves to be the World Heavyweight Champion. It's something that I like to call...the Elimination Chamber!

Jim Ross

Oh my god!

Bischoff

The World title will remain vacant until New Year's Revolution, when we have one of, if not, the biggest championship matches in Raws history. And it's going to feature...Chris Benoit...Edge...Triple H...Y2J, Chris Jericho!

Lawler

Chris Jericho?! Wh -

Bischoff

And Evolution's own, Batista!

Ross

WHAT?!

Lawler

Batista?!

Bischoff

And last but not least, RANDY ORTON!

Ross

Oh my -

Lawler

Wait a minute!

Ross

Orton back in the hunt!

Eric Bischoff

Hold on! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Without any further ado, allow me to introduce the special referee for the Elimination Chamber match at New Year's Revolution, the one, the only, HBK! HEARTBREAK KID! [crowd cheers as Edge reacts angrily]

Jim Ross

Shawn Michaels! Look at the! [Shawn Michaels comes out] THERE HE IS!

Jerry Lawler

He's back! [Triple H is in shock and disbelief]

Ross

No one's gonna like this decision! Not one man in the Elimination Chamber is gonna like this at all!

Lawler

You're right. You can see it on the faces of Batista, of Benoit, of Edge, of Jericho, and especially Triple H.

Ross

Triple H can't believe it. Oh my God, what an Elimination Chamber it's gonna be! Six men, but only one can survive! And there is your law and order.

Jonathan Coachman

Tonight, we have already seen Batista defeat Chris Benoit, Edge take out Chris Jericho. The question is, will Randy Orton beat Triple H?

Randy Orton

Tonight Coach, tonight Coach, tonight's the first chance that I've had to face Triple H one-on-one on Raw since I lost the World Heavyweight Championship. The same championship that I will regain this Sunday at the Elimination Chamber. Now, 2004, in 2004, Triple H took everything I had away from me. And now I'm gonna return the favor. In 2005, I'll take everything that Triple H has away from him. And it all starts tonight. When I beat you Triple H, 1-2-3, with an RKO.

Triple H

Can you believe this?

Ric Flair

No.

Triple H

It's supposed to be the biggest night in Batista's career. It's supposed to be the biggest night in the history of Evolution, Ric. This is the first night, this is where it all happens. You and I are gonna run this business, and it all starts tonight. After everything we've done for him, and tonight of all nights, he has the guts to be over two hours late?

Ric

Champ, you have bent over backwards for him! You created Batista! You made him! You put him in a position to make a huge amount of impact on this industry! You did it!

Triple H

I've done more than you even know.

Ric

You have?

Triple H

Yeah.

Ric

Like what? Stuff I don't know?

Triple H

You know how hard it is to get footage from SmackDown! of JBL and Big Show, and get it put into Raw? It's not easy. And do you know how hard it is to find a white limousine and get those stupid big horns put on the front to make Dave think that JBL was trying to run him over?

Ric

Wait, wait, wait, wait, you orchestrated that last week, the limousine almost running over Dave?

Triple H

Hey, relax, relax, hold on. Now, it's not like I was trying to have him killed. I was just trying to light a fire under him, for his own good. Listen, sometimes, Dave is not smart enough to know what's good for him. Just trying to ensure that he made the right decision tonight [Ric's jaw drops] and went to SmackDown!.

Ric

Oh...my...God, there have been times when I thought you were a genius, I've even told people you were a genius, but now, I know you're a genius! God, that's the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life! You know that?! Oh my God, WOO! WOO! No wonder they call you the Cerebral Assassin! Champ, that's the greatest move I've ever seen, and I've been around a long time.

Triple H

Ric! Yeah, it's a great plan, but it's all for nothing if the big idiot gets here tonight and decides to be selfish and stay on Raw. Batista needs to do what's right for Evolution. What's right for Evolution is right for Batista, and what's right for Batista is for him to go to SmackDown!. [Camera begins pulling back] Now, when he gets here, we need to make sure...

Ric

You are clever beyond the word "clever." You are a gen... You may be the most intelligent human being I've ever met in my life.

Chris Jericho

I came out here with an agenda tonight, to make a statement. And the reason is that WrestleMania 21 is less than five weeks away. We've already announced some of the biggest matches in Mania history. From Batista vs. Triple H for the World Championship, from Cena to JBL for the WWE Championship, Michaels has challenged Angle, Hogan's in the Hall of Fame, Stone Cold Steve Austin on Piper's Pit. Everybody wants to make an impact, so do I; everybody wants to be a part of history, so do I. I have an idea for a match to do that. It's a match that involves Y2J, five other elite WWE Superstars, a chance of a lifetime, and most importantly, one very big solid steel ladder.

Randy Orton

Last week, last week I asked Stacy Keibler a question. Do you think that I can beat The Undertaker at WrestleMania? After I asked her that question, she hesitated. I didn't. My message was made clear, you're either with me, or you're against me. You're either with me, or you're against me! Well Stacy, since you weren't with me, you were a distraction. And I made a promise to myself heading into WrestleMania, I'm gonna eliminate all distractions. Now, I know why The Undertaker is undefeated at WrestleMania. I know why. Cause all of his opponents in the future had themselves beat before they even got in the ring. They were scared to death. They were scared to death of The Undertaker.

Jerry Lawler

They were psyched out.

Orton

Well that is not me. I am not scared, I've seen my future and it doesn't involve a headstone. It involves a hall of fame plaque. A hall of fame plaque, and that plaque says, "Randy Orton, third generation superstar. The youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history." And, at the bottom of that plaque it says, "Randy Orton, also the only man to defeat The Undertaker at WrestleMania." Years from now, people will be talking about my undefeated streak. It all started last year. WrestleMania XX, Rock, Mick Foley, you fell to Randy Orton. And this year it continues with The Undertaker. Taker, you can't fight the future, and you can't beat Randy Orton, Legend Killer. [The Undertaker's gong sounds]

Triple H

I admit it. Last night at WrestleMania, I lost the World Heavyweight Championship. [removes his sunglasses] But for anybody that thinks this is the beginning of a new era, you are wrong! If you think this is the start of the Batista era, you are wrong, because Batista was great one night! One night! In this ring, WrestleMania 21, the biggest stage of all time, Batista was awesome! I will admit it, he was on, but it was one night. I am great EVERY NIGHT! And that championship belt Batista is wearing around his waist, it gravitates towards greatness. And you know what that means? That means it will come back to me. It will find its way home, because I own it. Batista was good once. I own the World Heavyweight Championship, and the rematch clause is rock solid! There is no way out! It will take place. The greatest rematch in the history of this industry. Batista-Triple H 2 will take place, and when it is over, I will stand in this ring as the 11-time World Heavyweight Champion. [crowd boos] And I can promise you this. [exits the ring] I can promise you this. When I do, I will come back here, and I will jam that championship belt [to a fan] down each and every one of your throats!

Randy Orton

It wasn't...it wasn't supposed to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to happen like it did. I came this close to making history. This close to beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania. Hell, he. he picked me up for that chokeslam, I turned it into an RKO, and when that wasn't enough, I figured I'd beat him at his own game. I'd beat him with his own patented move, I picked him up for that Tombstone Piledriver, and before breaking his neck, something happened. Something happened but, my shoulder, my left shoulder, I, I heard a snap. [crowd boos] I lost some feeling in my left arm, and next thing I knew I was looking at the bright lights. I mean, I don't know what's wrong, the doctor wasn't sure what's wrong. If my shoulder didn't give out last night, I would have beat The Undertaker! [crowd boos] But it got worse. 'Cause when I was backstage, and the doctor was tending to my injured shoulder, I looked up at the television. I looked up at the TV monitor and what I saw made me sick to my stomach! I was the new World Champion, Batista. [crowd cheers] Now let me make one thing perfectly clear. When I was messing with The Undertaker, I respected him. Even though I despise Triple H, I respect him. I have no respect whatsoever for Batista! [crowd boos] Everybody knows that when Evolution was formed, it was me. I was the future! Hell I still am. I was the bright and shining star, I was the project, the diamond in the rough. Everybody knows it. Hell, me and Flair and Triple H, we'd laugh at Batista, we'd crack jokes, we'd make fun of him. He was so far behind, they told me to slow down, they'd say "Randy, you're light years ahead of Batista. Let him catch up." It was a running joke. The Animal. Ha! [crowd chants "Batista"] Chant his name! Go ahead, chant his name! But let me tell you one thing right now. This year alone, I've beaten him not once, but twice. I pinned him in this very ring. So I know what I gotta do to get the bitterness out of my mind, to get that loss out of my mind from last night from The Undertaker. I need to beat Batista RIGHT HERE TONIGHT! [Eric Bischoff's music hits]

Jerry Lawler

What'd you think about that, JR? Those are some strong words from Randy Orton, huh? [Eric Bischoff comes out]

Eric Bischoff

Randy, as far as World title matches are concerned, I think earlier tonight, we heard what Triple H has in mind with his rematch clause. And even if he hasn't, Edge, hell you were there when --

Orton

[over Bischoff] Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, listen to me Eric! I don't care what you gotta do. I want Batista in this ring tonight! You hear me?! TONIGHT!

Bischoff

You want it so damn bad? Then tonight, it's going to be Randy Orton one on one with the new World Champion, Batista!

Jonathan Coachman

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it! Stop this match right now! General Manager Eric Bischoff has been informed about what's going on out here. So the Coach would suggest that you climb down off that ladder, Chris Benoit, and listen up.

Eric Bischoff

Thank you, Coach. I wish I would've listened to you a little earlier because apparently, you two arranged for this match while I was busy attending other matters. Well, Benoit, you can get down off that ladder because I am officially ending this match right now! [audience boos] Look! Look! I never sanctioned any ECW match and I never would because ECW is pure garbage. As a matter of fact, from this moment on, I am banning ECW from Raw. Oh, listen up! It will not be chanted in the building. It will not be discussed in the locker room. And then, if I see one ECW sign in my building, I will have it confiscated! And to make my point, I'm going to prohibit anybody from the Raw roster from participating at ECW's One Night Stand. Hell, I am going to ban the letters ECW from Raw. And let me be perfectly clear, the only participation Raw is going to have at ECW's One Night Stand is when I personally show up with my volunteered group of Raw superstars and put an end to ECW once and for all.

Jim Ross

We're back here live at Green Bay on Monday Night RAW, the ECW Funeral.

Jerry Lawler

Take it off. Take your hat off, JR, it's a funeral, for Chrissakes!

Take a note, America. This is the response that you give to a superstar like me! [crowd cheers]

Jerry Lawler

Look at all the signs. They're on their feet!

Now I know that you all know about the draft lottery next week. [crowd chants "Christian"]

Lawler

Lottery starts next week. Gonna last, it's gonna last a month?

Jim Ross

Yes sir.

Lawler

Gosh.

And I've been looking over the SmackDown! roster, and it seems to me that they're missing, they're missing something.

Lawler

Missing something?

Check it out. They've got Americans. [crowd boos] They've got Mexicans. [crowd boos] They've got Japanese. [crowd boos] They've got Frenchmen. [crowd boos] They've got a giant. [crowd boos] They've got a st, st, stutterer. [crowd boos] They've got a dead man. [crowd boos] They've got a rapping, hip hop poser champion. [crowd boos]

Lawler

These Canadians don't like anybody.

That couldn't make me say "I quit" even if he forced me to listen to his lame-ass CD, John Cena!

Lawler

That's a good one.

But what they're missing, what they don't have is a Canadian! [crowd cheers]

Lawler

You realize that?

A Canadian that would kick the holy living hell out of anybody on SmackDown!. So after next week, either I stay here on Raw, or SmackDown! will be getting an injection of the three C's. Charisma, Canada, [slaps his chest] and Christian!

Adam! You bastard! I'm gonna make you life miserable! And Lita, you whore, I'm gonna make your life miserable too! And the WWE can kiss my ass! [a security officer tackles Hardy] I'll see you at Ring of Honor! ROH!